Perfectly Good Sports Game Ruined By Lady Announcer

[Votto]

Perfectly Good Sports Game Ruined By Lady Announcer
Sports·Mar 25, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

CLEVELAND, OH — In a tragedy bemoaned by sports fans across the nation, a perfectly good basketball game between Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers was completely ruined by a lady announcer.

According to fans present at the debacle, the game was just shaping up to be a real corker when the stadium speakers crackled with an unmistakably feminine mic-test of a woman with a woman's voice.

"It all went downhill from there," recalls Jon Christiansen, a Warriors fan. "I didn't know you could get hired as a sports announcer when you're a woman. It's just not right. I thought this was America."

Fans report that the lady announcer continued to call the game, adding in various gasps of horror and concern when players got knocked down, sighing disappointedly at missed free throws, and occasionally saying things like, "That was a foul, right? He totally hit the basketball out of his hands! Who's got the possession now?"

"Honestly, I didn't have too much trouble with it," said Jackson Rolf, a Cavs fan. "You just tune it out after a while. It was kinda like being at home watching games with my wife, only the questions were much louder."

At publishing time, the lady announcer had closed her coverage of the game by hoping that both teams had had fun.

 

[apolitical]

I think it was just last fall when I heard Doris Burke doing an NBA game. I can't remember if she was announcing or if she was the analyst. It was terrible. Doris knows her stuff, but it was really lackluster. The previous year or so they had Van Gundy and Mark Jackson doing their thing. Their act was hard to follow, so I'll give it that consideration. But still, I want to hear good pairing like Walton-Jones or Gundy-Jackson. I don't want to hear a woman.

I remember last fall hearing a replay of the game winning HR by Freeman in the World Series. The woman commentator said something like "Are you frickin' kidding me?!" It was painful and embarrassing to listen to. I'm guessing many many guys don't want to hear these women announcers.

 

[egp320i]

same with some hockey broadcasts now and the lady just does not appear to really grasp what is going on like the men do

 

[Winco]

same with some hockey broadcasts now and the lady just does not appear to really grasp what is going on like the men do

I'm sure it would be glorious to witness YOU doing play by play in an NHL game.

 

[egp320i]

I'm sure it would be glorious to witness YOU doing play by play in an NHL game.

well as somebody who has watched lots of hockey for over 30 years yes I bet I could do play by play announcements and I have a deep radio/TV friendly voice so I have been told

 

[Winco]

well as somebody who has watched lots of hockey for over 30 years yes I bet I could do play by play announcements and I have a deep radio/TV friendly voice so I have been told

May be true.
If so, you'd tell us what this is and what is it's purpose?

 

[egp320i]

for one that is NOT the announcers job but it would appear they are marking off behind the goal line for placement of the goalie net on fresh ice

 

[Winco]

for one that is NOT the announcers job but it would appear they are marking off behind the goal line for placement of the goalie net on fresh ice as it has to be just over 7 or so feet from the back wall so players have room to skate

It's called "The Trapezoid"
The goalie cannot touch the puck outside the Trapezoid when behind the net.

The designated area in which a goalkeeper can play the puck behind the net is aptly and commonly called the “trapezoid.” This area started six feet from each goal post; now, with the updated rule, the area is extended to eight feet from each goal post. From those two points, a line extends to the boards, thus creating the trapezoid-shaped area in which a goalkeeper can play the puck. Goalkeepers are limited to this area behind the net and theoretically keeps them from making defensive plays, such as passing to a teammate in the corner (the forbidden area outside of the trapezoid) or clearing the puck out of the zone during an attack, essentially becoming a bonus sixth skater. After the American Hockey League’s testing of the proposed trapezoid area, the rule was enacted in the 2005-06 season.

 

[egp320i]

sure you know that, yes I've heard of it and announcers don't yell that out. yes a goalie needs to stay in their crease [blue paint] and they can go behind the net to get the puck at their own peril of getting hit

no goalie is going to wander to the corner and leave his goal WIDE open

last time you hear a play announcer say.....and the goalie just went into his trapezoid...

 

[Z99]

Babylon Bee is hilarious!

 

[apolitical]

same with some hockey broadcasts now and the lady just does not appear to really grasp what is going on like the men do

The irony is that every woman I have ever seen/heard knows what she is talking about. Susyn Waldman knows baseball. Doris Burke knows basketball. It is almost however, as if they are trying too hard.

I like the women pit reporters in auto racing. There is one on a Monday after-the-race show who knows what she is talking about. I like listening and watching the women pit reporters because they put a good feminine touch on interviewing. But the woman play by play and analysts are not pleasant to me. It seems they are trying so hard to be taken seriously and lose their sense of humor. They're stilted and have no style.

 

[apolitical]

well as somebody who has watched lots of hockey for over 30 years yes I bet I could do play by play announcements and I have a deep radio/TV friendly voice so I have been told

I like hockey, but don't follow it like other major sports. Mike Emrick was the best I have ever heard on TV. Sean McDonough also does a great job, but he is good in any sport.

 

[22lcidw]

It's called "The Trapezoid"
The goalie cannot touch the puck outside the Trapezoid when behind the net.

The designated area in which a goalkeeper can play the puck behind the net is aptly and commonly called the “trapezoid.” This area started six feet from each goal post; now, with the updated rule, the area is extended to eight feet from each goal post. From those two points, a line extends to the boards, thus creating the trapezoid-shaped area in which a goalkeeper can play the puck. Goalkeepers are limited to this area behind the net and theoretically keeps them from making defensive plays, such as passing to a teammate in the corner (the forbidden area outside of the trapezoid) or clearing the puck out of the zone during an attack, essentially becoming a bonus sixth skater. After the American Hockey League’s testing of the proposed trapezoid area, the rule was enacted in the 2005-06 season.

The players make a lot of money. At one time they were a lot closer to a blue-collar employee in wages. Humans are not far from primal. They are nicer to women working in those fields because of the money they make. We have not evolved. As long as there is some money to grease the wheels it gives us the impression it is. And in the same vein, it is not like we are all looking for death to others every day also.

 

[DGS49]

A lot of the viewers are women. Simple as that.

 

[my2¢]

Men, women, along with those things in-between, when it comes to sports announcing on TV it makes no difference to me. A few years back I grew tired of their chatter and now watch with the sound muted.

I recall baseball's game of the week. One never knew what they'd get from Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese.

 

[hondo 50]

Surveys I have seen show that women more likely prefer male bosses, male game show hosts, male sportscasters, etc. But the woke loons keep denying it.

A big reason many men watch sports is to get away from women and their million words per day. They sure don't want to see them blathering on tee vee.

 

[odanny]

I think it was just last fall when I heard Doris Burke doing an NBA game. I can't remember if she was announcing or if she was the analyst. It was terrible. Doris knows her stuff, but it was really lackluster. The previous year or so they had Van Gundy and Mark Jackson doing their thing. Their act was hard to follow, so I'll give it that consideration. But still, I want to hear good pairing like Walton-Jones or Gundy-Jackson. I don't want to hear a woman.

I remember last fall hearing a replay of the game winning HR by Freeman in the World Series. The woman commentator said something like "Are you frickin' kidding me?!" It was painful and embarrassing to listen to. I'm guessing many many guys don't want to hear these women announcers.

I can't really disagree, from a pure sports perspective, women's and men's voices are different. I love Doris, she does know her stuff, and she does a good job in anouncing regular season games, and really shines when interviewing players on the sidelines, but she didn't perform well when ABC put her doing the NBA Finals last year. It was not just one game, it was the entire series.

While the whole wokester ABC heirarchy probably popped champagne bottles at the glass ceiling they shattered the rest of us groaned, maybe asking only somewhat politlely that they stop this social engineering and let the men broadcast games played entirely by men. It's not fk'n complicated, but ABC wants to reinvent the wheel.

Let's keep it simple.

 

[The Duke]

Evidently you have missed the news lately and the battle in a federal court over such an event, but, I understand you want Trump to shine even in shit.

I think it was just last fall when I heard Doris Burke doing an NBA game. I can't remember if she was announcing or if she was the analyst. It was terrible. Doris knows her stuff, but it was really lackluster. The previous year or so they had Van Gundy and Mark Jackson doing their thing. Their act was hard to follow, so I'll give it that consideration. But still, I want to hear good pairing like Walton-Jones or Gundy-Jackson. I don't want to hear a woman.

I remember last fall hearing a replay of the game winning HR by Freeman in the World Series. The woman commentator said something like "Are you frickin' kidding me?!" It was painful and embarrassing to listen to. I'm guessing many many guys don't want to hear these women announcers.

same with some hockey broadcasts now and the lady just does not appear to really grasp what is going on like the men do

I'm sure it would be glorious to witness YOU doing play by play in an NHL game.

well as somebody who has watched lots of hockey for over 30 years yes I bet I could do play by play announcements and I have a deep radio/TV friendly voice so I have been told

Babylon Bee is hilarious!

The irony is that every woman I have ever seen/heard knows what she is talking about. Susyn Waldman knows baseball. Doris Burke knows basketball. It is almost however, as if they are trying too hard.

I like the women pit reporters in auto racing. There is one on a Monday after-the-race show who knows what she is talking about. I like listening and watching the women pit reporters because they put a good feminine touch on interviewing. But the woman play by play and analysts are not pleasant to me. It seems they are trying so hard to be taken seriously and lose their sense of humor. They're stilted and have no style.

The players make a lot of money. At one time they were a lot closer to a blue-collar employee in wages. Humans are not far from primal. They are nicer to women working in those fields because of the money they make. We have not evolved. As long as there is some money to grease the wheels it gives us the impression it is. And in the same vein, it is not like we are all looking for death to others every day also.

A lot of the viewers are women. Simple as that.

Men, women, along with those things in-between, when it comes to sports announcing on TV it makes no difference to me. A few years back I grew tired of their chatter and now watch with the sound muted.

I recall baseball's game of the week. One never knew what they'd get from Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese.

Surveys I have seen show that women more likely prefer male bosses, male game show hosts, male sportscasters, etc. But the woke loons keep denying it.

A big reason many men watch sports is to get away from women and their million words per day. They sure don't want to see them blathering on tee vee.

I can't really disagree, from a pure sports perspective, women's and men's voices are different. I love Doris, she does know her stuff, and she does a good job in anouncing regular season games, and really shines when interviewing players on the sidelines, but she didn't perform well when ABC put her doing the NBA Finals last year. It was not just one game, it was the entire series.

While the whole wokester ABC heirarchy probably popped champagne bottles at the glass ceiling they shattered the rest of us groaned, maybe asking only somewhat



politlely that they stop this social engineering and let the men broadcast games played entirely by men. It's not fk'n complicated, but ABC wants to reinvent the wheel.

Let's keep it simple.

They all need Dick Vitale and Howard Cosell, bitches! w00t! w00t!

 

[hondo 50]

They all need Dick Vitale and Howard Cosell, bitches! w00t! w00t!

Does Vitale actually calm down in a game?

 

[The Duke]

Does Vitale actually calm down in a game?

No. Never.