On the Pleasure of Hating.

[Mindful]

Your topic was being discussed and YOU derailed it with your psycho meta coy talk.

My first post addressed the topic directly.

Ding addressed the topic directly.

You tried to derail everything and then when you got bored of THAT, you tried to control the WAY folks were discussing the topic and kept repeating to discuss "enjoyment."

You need to have some pills and a nap. Likely, some therapy.

Sorry, I don't watch American daytime TV. From where you must have been spawned.

You're very primitive, my dear.

I don't think you're intelligent enough to be making these sorts of determinations. No offense.

I'm thinking at least twelve years old.

How many times have I told you, 89.

Most women say they are younger than they actually are. How old are you really?

98.

 

[Marion Morrison]

Your topic was being discussed and YOU derailed it with your psycho meta coy talk.

My first post addressed the topic directly.

Ding addressed the topic directly.

You tried to derail everything and then when you got bored of THAT, you tried to control the WAY folks were discussing the topic and kept repeating to discuss "enjoyment."

You need to have some pills and a nap. Likely, some therapy.

Sorry, I don't watch American daytime TV. From where you must have been spawned.

You're very primitive, my dear.

I don't think you're intelligent enough to be making these sorts of determinations. No offense.

I'm thinking at least twelve years old.

How many times have I told you, 89.

Most women say they are younger than they actually are. How old are you really?

Gentlemen say it's not polite to ask a lady her age.

 

[Mindful]

Sorry, I don't watch American daytime TV. From where you must have been spawned.

You're very primitive, my dear.

I don't think you're intelligent enough to be making these sorts of determinations. No offense.

I'm thinking at least twelve years old.

How many times have I told you, 89.

Most women say they are younger than they actually are. How old are you really?

Gentlemen say it's not polite to ask a lady her age.

Gentlemen? Polite?

Here?

 

[Mindful]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

 

[ding]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

 

[ding]

Sorry, I don't watch American daytime TV. From where you must have been spawned.

You're very primitive, my dear.

I don't think you're intelligent enough to be making these sorts of determinations. No offense.

I'm thinking at least twelve years old.

How many times have I told you, 89.

Most women say they are younger than they actually are. How old are you really?

Gentlemen say it's not polite to ask a lady her age.

I’m no gentlemen.

 

[Mindful]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

 

[ding]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

 

[Mindful]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

Where?

 

[ding]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

Where?

More like when.

 

[Mindful]

Convolute this, Ding.


Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you woke up one morning to find all your problems with your partner had disappeared? Instead of arguing, criticising or ignoring each other, you could just get on with being happy together.

Relationship theory has been dominated by the premise that when we fight, it is because we lack the skills or insight required to resolve conflict. But what if it’s not that we don’t know how to get along – we just don’t want to?

This is the view of Dr David Burns, psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together (Vermilion, £11.99). ‘Many couples I counsel aren’t interested in change,’ he claims. ‘They’re more interested in bashing each other’s heads in.’ The reason, he says, is that our ego competes with our ability to live harmoniously. Think of someone you don’t get along with. Now imagine you can press a button to transform your interaction into a close, caring and supportive friendship. Fancy it? Not many people do.

‘Sometimes we just don’t want to get close to the person we’re at odds with,’ says Burns. He gives his own example of a hostile colleague: ‘A close relationship with him is the last thing I want. What I need is for him to admit how self-centred he is.’

He believes this ‘joy in hostility’ is rooted in the animal side of human nature we seek to suppress. In order to improve our relationships, we have to focus on changing ourselves – not the other person. ‘You are 100 per cent of the problem, just as they are,’ says Burns. ‘The moment you change, the other person will change too. You can’t not change someone else: everything you say and do impacts on the behaviour of those around you. Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, “What do I want more: the rewards of battle or the rewards of a close, loving relationship?”’

The 12 causes of conflict:

Why we secretly love to hate

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

Where?

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

 

[ding]

Isn’t that what I have been saying?

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

Where?

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

 

[Mindful]

Let's see you doing it.

I already have.

Where?

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

 

[ding]

I already have.

Where?

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

 

[Mindful]

Where?

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

 

[ding]

More like when.

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

What movies?

Please don’t have a cow because I asked another clarifying question.

 

[Mindful]

Are you going to carry on like this?

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

What movies?

Please don’t have a cow because I asked another clarifying question.

The Carry On movies.

On second thoughts, you wouldn't get the humour.

 

[ding]

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

What movies?

Please don’t have a cow because I asked another clarifying question.

The Carry On movies.

On second thoughts, you wouldn't get the humour.

Nope. I have never seen The Carry On movies.

You might be surprised what I would get. I’m surprised by how many assumptions people are willing to make.

 

[Mindful]

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

What movies?

Please don’t have a cow because I asked another clarifying question.

The Carry On movies.

On second thoughts, you wouldn't get the humour.

Nope. I have never seen The Carry On movies.

You might be surprised what I would get. I’m surprised by how many assumptions people are willing to make.

I'm not.

 

[ding]

It depends if you are going to continue asking irrelevant questions.

Whatever they are, you keep answering them.

Yes, but do you like the answers?

I can carry on like this as long as you can carry on like that. The choice is yours.

Did you ever see those movies?

What movies?

Please don’t have a cow because I asked another clarifying question.

The Carry On movies.

On second thoughts, you wouldn't get the humour.

So what do you think about my assertion (God forbid I use the term argument) that we hate in others what we most hate in ourselves and that if we fix the problems with ourselves we will hate less what we see in the world around us?