Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel

[Kat]

“I’m not dead yet,” said Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards after being found alive in a San Francisco Hotel. Source: “Keith Richards Berlinale 2008” by Siebbi


Emergency personnel were summoned to the posh Bourges Hotel in San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf District this morning.
According to the hotel general manager, Brechtold Burke, “Mr. Richards had been a guest at the hotel for several days. This morning, room service delivered his standard lemon scones and raspberry tea at 6:30am. There was no response from inside the room to the knocking, which is very unusual. Mr. Richards is always very prompt.” Mr. Burke added, “The room service tray was still in the hallway, untouched at 7:15 am, so we notified Mr Richards’ aide, Claire D’lune with our concerns. Next thing we know, this place was overrun with police and fire department personnel.”
In an official briefing at 10 am, Pacific time, in the Bourges convention hall, Ms. D’lune spoke through tears to the media.
“With a very heavy heart, I am sad to announce that sometime early this morning, Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards was found still alive.” said Ms. D’lune choking back tears, “He was found in his suite, sitting in a chair, watching Jamie Oliver reruns on the tele. Emergency personnel were summoned and exhaustive attempts were made to revive him, but since Mr. Richards was not dead, that was deemed unnecessary.”




Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel



Man O Man

 

[Mad Scientist]

Keef says in his bio that he hasn't died from drugs because he only uses the pharmaceutical grade stuff. Well, that's what HE claims.