Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead

[Votto]

Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead​

Crime·Jun 9, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

MCKINNEY, TX — Nineteen-year-old convicted murderer Karmelo Anthony, in his first public comments since being found guilty of first-degree murder, expressed regret that he didn't convert to Islam and stab someone in the UK instead.

Anthony currently faces up to 99 years in prison for the crime of not stabbing someone in England as a follower of the Prophet Muhammad.

"I really regret not converting to Islam and moving to London before I stabbed anybody," Anthony said. "Well... live and learn."

Defense attorney Mike Howard argued that his client would never even have been arrested if he were a Muslim in the UK and would be arguing such on appeal. "It's outrageous that my client was found guilty based on clear evidence," Howard said. "Those English barristers have it so easy."

Anthony, Howard said, would have easily walked free if he had perpetrated the same crime in the UK, and in fact would likely not have been prosecuted in the first place. "Let this be a lesson to everyone — if you're going to stab someone to death without cause, make sure you convert to Islam and do your stabbing in the UK. You'll be fine that way."

According to King's Counsel Jimson S. Rolifold in the UK, "There's a saying in England that there's no such thing as an open-and-shut case with a Muslim — mostly because the case is never opened in the first place."

At publishing time, Karmelo Anthony had legally changed his name to Muhammed Muhammed and announced he would be appealing the verdict and seeking refugee status in the United Kingdom.

 

[toobfreak]

Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead​

Hell, I would have thought he already kicking himself for his lawyers not presenting proof of his self-defense; he was claiming self-defense and in that court, he needed to offer evidence for it which they never did.

 

[Votto]

Hell, I would have thought he already kicking himself for his lawyers not presenting proof of his self-defense; he was claiming self-defense and in that court, he needed to offer evidence for it which they never did.

Evidence is for racists and fascists

Set him free!!!!

 

[Robert W]

Hell, I would have thought he already kicking himself for his lawyers not presenting proof of his self-defense; he was claiming self-defense and in that court, he needed to offer evidence for it which they never did.

He really made his victim have a bad day so now he has a bad 35 years to imagine how he could have done differently.; He will be middle age when his sentence ends.

 

[toobfreak]

Evidence is for racists and fascists
Set him free!!!!

Seems pretty odd that in an era where they have cameras everywhere, there is no video of his confrontation laying bare whether he attacked or was self-defending from the other kid.

 

[toobfreak]

He really made his victim have a bad day so now he has a bad 35 years to imagine how he could have done differently.; He will be middle age when his sentence ends.

Nah, I bet he either appeals or is let out on good behavior after 17-18 years.

 

[Lockback]

The Babylon Bee never fails.

 

[Robert W]

Nah, I bet he either appeals or is let out on good behavior after 17-18 years.

Probably he will appeal. He has a large slush fund.

 

[Roudy]

Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead​

Crime·Jun 9, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1267694

MCKINNEY, TX — Nineteen-year-old convicted murderer Karmelo Anthony, in his first public comments since being found guilty of first-degree murder, expressed regret that he didn't convert to Islam and stab someone in the UK instead.

Anthony currently faces up to 99 years in prison for the crime of not stabbing someone in England as a follower of the Prophet Muhammad.

"I really regret not converting to Islam and moving to London before I stabbed anybody," Anthony said. "Well... live and learn."

Defense attorney Mike Howard argued that his client would never even have been arrested if he were a Muslim in the UK and would be arguing such on appeal. "It's outrageous that my client was found guilty based on clear evidence," Howard said. "Those English barristers have it so easy."

Anthony, Howard said, would have easily walked free if he had perpetrated the same crime in the UK, and in fact would likely not have been prosecuted in the first place. "Let this be a lesson to everyone — if you're going to stab someone to death without cause, make sure you convert to Islam and do your stabbing in the UK. You'll be fine that way."

According to King's Counsel Jimson S. Rolifold in the UK, "There's a saying in England that there's no such thing as an open-and-shut case with a Muslim — mostly because the case is never opened in the first place."

At publishing time, Karmelo Anthony had legally changed his name to Muhammed Muhammed and announced he would be appealing the verdict and seeking refugee status in the United Kingdom.

It’s never too late!

 

[Paddlefoot]

 

[AZrailwhale]

Seems pretty odd that in an era where they have cameras everywhere, there is no video of his confrontation laying bare whether he attacked or was self-defending from the other kid.

There is video from fixed cameras on the far side of the stadium. Unfortunately, the tent is on the edge of the camera shot.