It's Official: New White House Cat To Be Named 'Chairman Meow'

The Purge

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Aug 16, 2018
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Move over, Champ and Major! There’s a new pet in the Biden family, and he may be the ticket to smoothing over relations with China. The White House has officially announced the arrival of their new cat “Chairman Meow”.

Meow has been named after the revolutionary Communist leader who founded the People's Republic of China: Chairman Mao.
“We are so excited to welcome ‘Chairman Meow’ to the family,” said a beaming President Biden. “We got him from Beijing. He already thinks he’s in charge of the place! Ha! That rascal. Always walking on the keyboard in the Situation Room, sending funny messages. And lemme tell ya-- he smells great. Come here and let me sniff you, little devil!” yelled Biden as he chased after the new pet.
After a couple of early unfortunate incidents with Major, the Secret Service has been forced to divert a squad to protect Chairman Meow. The assignment has become highly coveted, as it never involves restraining the President from trying to punch a mirror.
According to sources, Chairman Meow is already exercising his will over White House staff. He has already sent one caretaker to the labor camps after he failed to heat up his Fancy Feast to the proper temperature.
When reached for comment, the cat responded, saying: "meow."

 
I've never liked cats. Always preferred dogs. However, if I were to get a cat, I would pick from one of the following words to name the cat:
CATatonic.
CATastrophy/CATastrophic.
CATacomb.
CATagory: Then, when I got home, depending upon how much damage the cat did to the furniture or the size of the hairballs it tossed up, I'd assign a number at the end.
CATaplexy.
CATapult: Which I would say and do every time I came home to find a hairball on the furniture or carpet, or the furniture fabric torn up.
At least dogs can be trained. Cats just consider us their staff.
 
article-8544-1.jpg






WASHINGTON, D.C.—Move over, Champ and Major! There’s a new pet in the Biden family, and he may be the ticket to smoothing over relations with China. The White House has officially announced the arrival of their new cat “Chairman Meow”.

Meow has been named after the revolutionary Communist leader who founded the People's Republic of China: Chairman Mao.
“We are so excited to welcome ‘Chairman Meow’ to the family,” said a beaming President Biden. “We got him from Beijing. He already thinks he’s in charge of the place! Ha! That rascal. Always walking on the keyboard in the Situation Room, sending funny messages. And lemme tell ya-- he smells great. Come here and let me sniff you, little devil!” yelled Biden as he chased after the new pet.
After a couple of early unfortunate incidents with Major, the Secret Service has been forced to divert a squad to protect Chairman Meow. The assignment has become highly coveted, as it never involves restraining the President from trying to punch a mirror.
According to sources, Chairman Meow is already exercising his will over White House staff. He has already sent one caretaker to the labor camps after he failed to heat up his Fancy Feast to the proper temperature.
When reached for comment, the cat responded, saying: "meow."

If only this were a satirical thread and not one based on the facts.

Sad.
 
I've never liked cats. Always preferred dogs. However, if I were to get a cat, I would pick from one of the following words to name the cat:
CATatonic.
CATastrophy/CATastrophic.
CATacomb.
CATagory: Then, when I got home, depending upon how much damage the cat did to the furniture or the size of the hairballs it tossed up, I'd assign a number at the end.
CATaplexy.
CATapult: Which I would say and do every time I came home to find a hairball on the furniture or carpet, or the furniture fabric torn up.
At least dogs can be trained. Cats just consider us their staff.

I prefer cats. I never have to take them outside in the rain or the snow.

I have two cats. I groom them once a week with a Furminator and they don't get hairballs. Furniture is easy to protect. Dogs are too needy. I prefer the independence of cats.
 
I prefer cats. I never have to take them outside in the rain or the snow.

I have two cats. I groom them once a week with a Furminator and they don't get hairballs. Furniture is easy to protect. Dogs are too needy. I prefer the independence of cats.
Nothing wrong with a "needy" dog. It has scientists studying cats, determined that cats do understand our commands, but for the most part, just don't care. To me, if someone/animal doesn't care what you want, then they are to be booted out of the house, so give me a dog every time over a cat.
About the only negative on dogs is that whereas a cat can be left plenty of food and water so that you can get away for a couple of days, a dog needs regular walks, regardless of the weather, but they are more controllable.
 

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