HenryBHough
Diamond Member
Health awareness has run amok!
Today I must attend a neighborhood Christmas Pot-Luck and been assigned to bring a green salad. That because I mostly live on salads these days somewhat by choice.
Once the list was passed out I got a series of phone calls with special requests.
"Please, no nuts. I'm allergic to nuts"
"Please nothing with gluten. I'm allergic to gluten"
"You can't put any salt in it! I can't eat things with salt"
"You won't use sugar, will you?"
"Be sure the dressing has no artificial sweeteners!"
So I made my normal green salad but before anyone can lift the lid and take any they are required to read and initial the card that's taped to the lid:
Garden Salad
Please read this disclaimer and initial below to confirm you have read and understand it before putting any on your plate.
Ingredients
Iceberg Lettuce
Celery
Yellow Onion
Green Bell Pepper
Vine-ripened, non-organic tomato
Garlic Pepper
Seasoned Pepper (read container provided for detailed list of contents)
NO added:
Salt
Sugar
Artificial Sweetener
Nuts
Raisins
NO Known Gluten
Prepared in a kitchen where nuts, including peanuts, are stored and used by a person seriously addicted to peanuts, cashews and various other mixed nuts.
Please carefully read the labels on the French and Poppyseed dressings supplied. If you use other self-provided dressing, please do so away from the serving table to prevent contamination.
I thought I'd get some blowback from my wife but, just as the placard was printing, she got a phone call from one of her friends who was asking whether she should put a label on her meatballs to keep from getting sued if somebody was allergic to something.
Goddamn PC is EVERYFUCKINGWHERE!
Today I must attend a neighborhood Christmas Pot-Luck and been assigned to bring a green salad. That because I mostly live on salads these days somewhat by choice.
Once the list was passed out I got a series of phone calls with special requests.
"Please, no nuts. I'm allergic to nuts"
"Please nothing with gluten. I'm allergic to gluten"
"You can't put any salt in it! I can't eat things with salt"
"You won't use sugar, will you?"
"Be sure the dressing has no artificial sweeteners!"
So I made my normal green salad but before anyone can lift the lid and take any they are required to read and initial the card that's taped to the lid:
Garden Salad
Please read this disclaimer and initial below to confirm you have read and understand it before putting any on your plate.
Ingredients
Iceberg Lettuce
Celery
Yellow Onion
Green Bell Pepper
Vine-ripened, non-organic tomato
Garlic Pepper
Seasoned Pepper (read container provided for detailed list of contents)
NO added:
Salt
Sugar
Artificial Sweetener
Nuts
Raisins
NO Known Gluten
Prepared in a kitchen where nuts, including peanuts, are stored and used by a person seriously addicted to peanuts, cashews and various other mixed nuts.
Please carefully read the labels on the French and Poppyseed dressings supplied. If you use other self-provided dressing, please do so away from the serving table to prevent contamination.
I thought I'd get some blowback from my wife but, just as the placard was printing, she got a phone call from one of her friends who was asking whether she should put a label on her meatballs to keep from getting sued if somebody was allergic to something.
Goddamn PC is EVERYFUCKINGWHERE!
