Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?

[jon_berzerk]

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her

Statistics show that it is when a woman leaves or tries to leave an abusive relationship that she most often ends up dead. A huge reason for them to be afraid of leaving, of feeling trapped.

indeed that is a very problematic time in a relationship

sometimes we do not know why since they end up as murder suicide

 

[Bonzi]

Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship - unless there are children involved. That makes it even more complicated but one must protect children at all costs

 

[Moonglow]

Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?


Dude, you get to pound that pussy, it takes a beating..

 

[Valerie]

Arent they afraid to stay?

They should have left the first time they were hit. Women who are killed for trying to leave usually have a long history of being abused.

Nicole Simpson should have left the first time he hit her.

Ray rices' girlfriend married him after he knocked her out. And she tells people who bash her for it to mind our own business.

In a way they've asked for it.




what a stupid little turd you are... yeah, women like nicole simpson ASKED FOR IT.

In a way they've asked for it.

 

[Cecilie1200]

i dunn believe you bro

nuttin personal tho

Because women are so so angelic that they are incapable of attacking men? Your response is exactly why men don't report it when they have been abused.

First of all, I don't think putting your hands on another person is ever appropriate or acceptable except in defense of your own life and safety. Second of all, I think if a woman is putting your life and/or safety at risk, she doesn't get a special consideration because she's carrying a vagina while doing it.

 

[sealybobo]

Arent they afraid to stay?

They should have left the first time they were hit. Women who are killed for trying to leave usually have a long history of being abused.

Nicole Simpson should have left the first time he hit her.

Ray rices' girlfriend married him after he knocked her out. And she tells people who bash her for it to mind our own business.

In a way they've asked for it.




what a stupid little turd you are... yeah, women like nicole simpson ASKED FOR IT.

In a way they've asked for it.

She should have left the stupid bitch.

Its not like Ray Rice's wife wasn't warned. Oh, and she wasn't his wife before this. I guess a punch in the face makes a woman's heart grow fonder.

​

 

[Anathema]

Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....

Sometimes the people involved in the relationship see discipline as a good and necessary part of the relationship.

 

[Bonzi]

Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....

Sometimes the people involved in the relationship see discipline as a good and necessary part of the relationship.

It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person. Maybe you are okay with that too?

 

[Valerie]

what's okay? hitting a woman is "okay" as long you don't kill her..?

It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person.

 

[Bonzi]

what's okay? hitting a woman is "okay" as long you don't kill her..?

that's what I'm asking Anathema.....

 

[Anathema]

It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person. Maybe you are okay with that too?

There is a pretty wide line between discipline and abuse. There's also a line between the disgusting act of abuse and the deplorable act of murder. Discipline is not abuse and nowhere near murder.

 

[Valerie]

"discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.

There is a pretty wide line between discipline and abuse.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....

Sometimes the people involved in the relationship see discipline as a good and necessary part of the relationship.

What an utter load of horseshit from a pathetic lack of testosterone trying to make himself feel manly.

 

[Anathema]

"discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.

On that we will differ in opinion. I will agree that any system of discipline where the first step is physical borders on abuse; but that's not what I'm talking about.

 

[Bonzi]

It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person. Maybe you are okay with that too?

There is a pretty wide line between discipline and abuse. There's also a line between the disgusting act of abuse and the deplorable act of murder. Discipline is not abuse and nowhere near murder.

out of rage though, you could accidentally kill someone....... you don't seem to exhibit much self control.
or is that by choice?

 

[Valerie]

"discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.

On that we will differ in opinion. I will agree that any system of discipline where the first step is physical borders on abuse; but that's not what I'm talking about.

so under what circumstances do you find 'disciplining' your spouse by hitting them "okay"?

 

[Valerie]

Compelling Reasons Women Stay


The one question our culture often asks of victims/survivors of domestic abuse is:

“Why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?” or “Why doesn’t she just leave?” Sometimes the question is meant as an honest inquiry. However, often it is spoken with an undercurrent of hostility or disbelief (i.e. “It couldn’t have been that bad” or “You must have liked it” or “If you wanted to leave, you would have.”), sending a message that women who stay in abusive relationships are somehow to blame for their abuse.

Our culture also sends equally powerful messages that women are expected to fill roles in their relationships that keep them dependent on their partners. This combination of messages sets women up to feel ashamed, isolated and stuck. Some may feel that they have no real choices.

The following list is a composite of views from women in DAP Women’s Groups over the past several years. They invited us into their lives and helped us answer the question: What keeps some women in abusive relationships?

Note: Not all of these reasons are found in each case. A combination of some of them can often be found and can be compelling enough to keep a woman in the relationship.

A woman may fear her partner’s actions if she leaves.

• My partner said he will hunt me down and kill me.
• My partner will kidnap the children and disappear.
• My partner will take my passport and immigration papers.
• My partner will spread horrible rumors about me.
• She will “out” me at work or to my family.
• My partner will have me deported or report me to the INS.
• My partner will stop the processing of my Green Card.

The effects of abuse may make it difficult to leave.

• I’m nothing. I don’t deserve better.
• I feel paralyzed.
• I can’t face making decisions anymore.
• I was brainwashed to believe that I couldn’t cope without my partner.
• I am so used to life being this way.
• I’m more comfortable with what I know, than the unknown out in the world.

A woman may have concerns about her children.

• My children will blame me and resent me.
• The kids need a father.
• She will tell my ex-spouse or authorities that I am a lesbian so they will take the kids.
• Children need a “real family”.
• My partner will steal the children.
• My partner will kill the children.
• My partner will turn the children against me.
• She is the biological mother; I have no legal rights.

A partner’s attempts to isolate a woman may make it difficult for her to leave or get help.

• My partner doesn’t let me out of the house.
• I have no friends to call for help anymore.
• My partner doesn’t let me take English classes so I can’t communicate with anyone.
• If I ever tell anyone about this, my partner will kill me.
• My sister said I couldn’t come and stay with her anymore, after the last time…
• My partner said he or she would teach my friend a lesson if I go over there again.
• My partner hides my wheelchair so I cannot leave the house.

A woman’s personal history may have shaped her attitude toward abuse in relationships.

• My father beat my mom – it just goes with being in a relationship.
• Getting hit isn’t the worst thing that can happen in a family – I know of worse things.
• I have seen a lot of violence in my country so violence has become normal for me.
• My parents never gave up on one another.

A woman may be deeply attached to her partner and hope for change.

• I believe my partner when he or she says that it will never happen again.
• My partner promised to go to therapy.
• I cherish the sex and intimacy.
• My partner is really loving towards me most of the time.
• My marriage vows.
• My religion.
• I love her or him.

Some women are taught that it is their job to maintain the relationship and support their partners, so they may feel guilty about leaving or feel they have “failed.”

• I will ruin his or her life if I leave.
• My partner will have nowhere to go.
• My partner will lose her or his job if I report this.
• My partner tells me the system does not support non-citizens.
• My partner will start drinking again.
• I will disappoint my family. I can’t admit my relationship is a failure.
• I am afraid the deaf community will reject me.
• I have to take care of him or her.
• She or he wouldn’t hurt me if I were better at keeping up the house.

Women may be economically dependent on their partners or their partners may be economically dependent on them.

• My partner has all the money.
• I’ve never had a good job. How would I take care of my kids alone?
• I have no work experience in this country.
• It’s better to be beaten up at home than to be out on the streets.
• My partner won’t let me send any money overseas.
• My disability does not enable me to work.
• I’d rather die than be on welfare.
• My partner forces me to work and then takes all my money.
• My partner charges up all my credit cards.
• My partner can’t work – he depends on me to support him.

Our culture sends the message that a woman’s value depends on her being in a relationship. Women without partners tend to be devalued.

• My partner keeps me together. I’ll fall apart if I leave.
• I have to have a man by my side.
• I would be disgraced in my community and bring shame to my family.
• People will call me a whore, a whore, or sleazy.
• I’ll be an old maid.
• I’m afraid to be on my own.

 

[Anathema]

out of rage though, you could accidentally kill someone....... you don't seem to exhibit much self control.
or is that by choice?

At times my self-control can be exceptional. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the inflanatory event.

In terms of the discipline, we hace an agreed upon system of increasingly unpleasant steps. Not until the third step is any form of corporal punishment involved. The third and fourth steps include ut. Step five is involuntary removal from the home.

 

[Valerie]

Why women stay in abusive relationships is the wrong question. The questions we should be asking are: Why do men terrorize their partners? Why does the community allow battering to continue?

How can we be helpful to women in the process of leaving? A common mistake in understanding domestic violence is to scrutinize the survivor and avoid looking at the perpetrator. People believe that if battered women REALLY wanted to leave they could just get up and go.

Many people overlook the environmental barriers that prevent women from leaving and too often focus on psychological "characteristics" of women instead. Although men’s violence is the crucial question, many people wonder why women stay – and advocates of battered women have made the following suggestions.

Stop violence and prevent crime; domestic violence, why battered women stay (why some battered women sometimes stay)

 

[Valerie]

At times my self-control can be exceptional. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the inflanatory event.

In terms of the discipline, we hace an agreed upon system of increasingly unpleasant steps. Not until the third step is any form of corporal punishment involved. The third and fourth steps include ut. Step five is involuntary removal from the home.

i think you're full of shit, trying to incite a reaction on the forum.