If you were an Alien on 3I/Atlas monitoring Earth, what would your report say?

[CrusaderFrank]

The Interstellar visitor 3I/Atlas is probably not an alien probe. But if it were and you were in the crew, what would you report back about Earth and the solar system overall?

I recently remembered writing an economics paper from this point of view

 

[sealybobo]

The Interstellar visitor 3I/Atlas is probably not an alien probe. But if it were and you were in the crew, what would you report back about Earth and the solar system overall?

I recently remembered writing an economics paper from this point of view

This species is not very advanced. But we should not make our presence known. They will freak out.

We can help them but are they willing to take it?

OMG they are on the verge of going green and figuring out Tesla's theories but they continue to be stuck on coal and gas.

Those dumb mother fuckers still work 50 hour weeks x 40 years. They are so ******* dumb.

99% of them let 1% of them rule them.

 

[task0778]

These guys are a buncha dumbfucks.

 

[BackAgain]

Apparently, I’d say nothing. Word is that it appears to have broken up. Like Icarus, it got too close to the Sun.

 

[1srelluc]

The superior life form on earth are canines, they have primates on leaches that pick up their waste and carry it around for them.

 

[sealybobo]

These guys are a buncha dumbfucks.

I think they would look at earth and say "never mind. It's just another planet full of tardigrades and a bunch of other dumb animals.

There is no exact number for how many tardigrades exist in the world, but there are over 1,300 known species, and they are found in nearly every environment on Earth. Scientists believe there are many more undiscovered species, and they are so widespread that they likely live in countless damp or moist habitats, such as mosses, lichens, and soil.

Known and estimated numbers

• Known species:
  Scientists have identified and described around 1,300 to 1,488 species of tardigrades.
  
  • Undiscovered species:
    The actual number is likely much higher, as many habitats have not been thoroughly investigated, and some species are difficult to differentiate.
    

Global distribution

• • Ubiquitous:
    Tardigrades are found on all continents, from the poles to the equator, and in environments ranging from the deepest oceans to the highest mountains.
    
  • Common habitats:
    They are common in terrestrial environments like mosses, lichens, and damp soil, as well as in marine and freshwater environments.
  • 
    No, tardigrades are not endangered and are considered one of the most resilient species on Earth, having survived all five mass extinction events and capable of surviving extreme conditions. While individual species may be vulnerable to certain threats like climate change, their overall survival is highly likely, with some scientists suggesting they could survive until the sun dies.
    

 

[sealybobo]

The superior life form on earth are canines, they have primates on leaches that pick up their waste and carry it around for them.

Thousands of years ago we were at war with the wolves. We made a truce with them. We promised to walk them twice a day, feed them, let them live inside with us, tell them they are a good boy or good girl every time they take a shit.

They don't care if we pick up the shit. That's something we do for ourselves.

 

[shockedcanadian]

The Interstellar visitor 3I/Atlas is probably not an alien probe. But if it were and you were in the crew, what would you report back about Earth and the solar system overall?

I recently remembered writing an economics paper from this point of view

It depends on their intentions, how long their average lifespans are, do they have a use for us, the planet, both or neither?

If they say, were a species with a 1000-2000 year average life span but were susceptible to our weapons and aren't interested in losing some of their own they would probably say "they have the means to completely destroy themselves, we just need to let it play out and within 250 years or so they should nuke themselves out of existence and we will then clean up the fallout and take the planet without resistance".

If they are just studying us as some primitive species, they would probably just feed this back "very primitive life in existence, somewhat more advanced than the species they hunt when they aren't hunting each other. Still have reptilian brain with desires of greed, deception, murder and general vengeance impulses of exploitation. Suggested follow-up: pursue investigation of more sophisticated planets and solar system.

If they want to enslave us in some Planet of the Apes like scenario it would just be a manner of their action going forward be it through manipulation of government, threat of destroying our planet or full-on invasion.

 

[Quasar44]

The Interstellar visitor 3I/Atlas is probably not an alien probe. But if it were and you were in the crew, what would you report back about Earth and the solar system overall?

I recently remembered writing an economics paper from this point of view

Oh it could be an alien spacecraft according to Harvard PHD Jew in Astrophysics

 

[Meathead]

The Interstellar visitor 3I/Atlas is probably not an alien probe. But if it were and you were in the crew, what would you report back about Earth and the solar system overall?

I recently remembered writing an economics paper from this point of view

Earth girls are easy?

 

[MisterBeale]

 

[Hellokitty]

With all the other planets why would advanced aliens focus on earth?

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

.

What is a "woman"?

.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

Earth girls are easy?

.

That was on Svengoolie a few months ago.

I fell asleep.

.

 

[BackAgain]

Oh it could be an alien spacecraft according to Harvard PHD Jew in Astrophysics

And “Jew” was necessary in that post because …?

 

[Quasar44]

With all the other planets why would advanced aliens focus on earth?

We have advanced life . This is super rare

 

[Quasar44]

With all the other planets why would advanced aliens focus on earth?

I want to ask them to fix my low back and boost my IQ

 

[fncceo]

what would your report say?​

“Mostly harmless”.