I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends and holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I don't get paid overtime
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work at high temperatures
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
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Dear Penis: After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
2. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
3. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
4. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
5. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
6. You don't always observe safety regulations such as wearing the correct protective clothing
7. You are unable to work double shifts
8. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
9. And if that were not all-you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
1. I do physical labor
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends and holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I don't get paid overtime
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8. I work at high temperatures
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Penis: After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
2. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
3. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
4. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
5. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
6. You don't always observe safety regulations such as wearing the correct protective clothing
7. You are unable to work double shifts
8. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
9. And if that were not all-you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
