I stumbled upon some of the best ways to do it by accident. Treat the girl like you would one of your friends. Don't suck up to her. In fact, act like you just want somebody to talk to rather than a date, though maybe show a little intrest in the latter. If she starts the dating game, seduction game, etc., call her on it, and never answer the "date interview" questions seriously (if she asks what you drive, just say "a beige Yugo" with a straight face). Try not to put yourself down, even as a joke, either.
To sum up:
1. Be Confident
2. Be Yourself
3. Be Funny
and above all, do NOT act like you're desperately trying to impress.
This approach has two advantages. The first and foremost is that if you're just acting like you always do when you're around her, you don't have the pressure of pretending, because she likes you for who you
really are, rather than some facade you put on. The second advantage is the forbidden fruit aspect. Desirable women are used to holding men in the palms of their hands. If you keep trying to impress them, you're just like everybody else. If you communicate (remember Hitch, 90% of what you say has nothing to do with the words themselves) that it won't bother you if she doesn't like you, she'll wonder why and try to get you to like her enough that it
would bother you if she didn't like you. It plays to the old adage that you'll like something more if you have to work for it. Women who can "get any guy they want" will be puzzled with and will often pursue the one they can't just get by batting their eyelashes.
Now, how did I, a womanless, nerdly loser, stumble upon this? A friend of mine was moving away from the area and his going away party was at a night club. I don't normally frequent night clubs, but this one had a "no smoking" policy and didn't seem to focus its decor on sex, so I figured I'd humor my friend and attend. I was the only guy in the group with no girlfriend, and when the others went over to the dance floor, I sat and watched the table, purses, etc. Whenever this happened, I'd talk to some of the girls at nearby tables. I wasn't really interested in any of them, as the night club crowd isn't my type of "hunting grounds," and most of them were engaged in activities which are not typical of the virtuous, church-going crowd that I'd like to find my future wife in. Then, there's the fact that I don't like to move straight from first sight to a romantic relationship, meaning I don't "pick up" chicks. However, they were interesting to talk to. Now, what I found is that these girls kept talking to me and seemed to be...interested...in me. I was asked several times to dance, and always copped out with the "I've gotta watch my friends' purses" excuse, and each time that happened, I got a phone number, without even asking. My friends were speechless. It also seemed that the less romantically interested I acted, the more they liked me.
I ended up calling all of them back and invited them to church. Most thought I was joking. Three actually showed up. One still goes, and if she keeps going, I may actually follow up with what was started that night in the club. I mean, she
is quite attractive and the only reason I didn't go for her in the first place is that she didn't live up to my moral and spiritual standards, though that seems to be changing.
Eh, but what do I know. I'm a nerd who is annoyed by Valentine's Day, thinks the "dating game" is a bunch of bullcrap, and has never had a steady girlfriend. However, I think the fact that I'm comfortable with that works to my advantage, as wierd as that sounds. :huh: