Hamas releases two prisonors

[Votto]

Hamas spokesperson Mohammad Al Majdoub has said that they have decided to release two hostages.

Al Majdoub stated, "We captured these hostages to negotiate for money, but the Biden administration had no interest in them at all. What the hell? I can't figure it out, they even gave us another $100 million without asking for a single hostage. I mean, they take the fun out of terror so what are we suppose to do? We would kill them on TV like we promised, but then, who would care? America certainly wouldn't. But if we kept them, who wants to feed them? I don't even feed my own kids. I just behead them when they get out of line. At any rate, It looks like I will have to join ISIS to make terror fun again or find another line of work altogether."

​

 

[Lemmi]

Bandits gonna be bandits. Hostage takers gonna take hostages. It's what makes the world go 'round.

 

[Dante]

View attachment 845970

Hamas spokesperson Mohammad Al Majdoub has said that they have decided to release two hostages.

Al Majdoub stated, "We captured these hostages to negotiate for money, but the Biden administration had no interest in them at all. What the hell? I can't figure it out, they even gave us another $100 million without asking for a single hostage. I mean, they take the fun out of terror so what are we suppose to do? We would kill them on TV like we promised, but then, who would care? America certainly wouldn't. But if we kept them, who wants to feed them? I don't even feed my own kids. I just behead them when they get out of line. At any rate, It looks like I will have to join ISIS to make terror fun again or find another line of work altogether."

​

You really, really suck at this. And the text is as lame as one of your usual posts.

Could've used a photo with two Palestinian civilians. But emotions blind you to most everything. Your usual hatred and anger has faded into the background as the others have stepped forward.

Do you even know what satire is?

 

[Votto]

You really, really suck at this. And the text is as lame as one of your usual posts.

Could've used a photo with two Palestinian civilians. But emotions blind you to most everything. Your usual hatred and anger has faded into the background as the others have stepped forward.

Do you even know what satire is?

Satire? What satire? I present the news.

Speaking of which, good news! Biden has agreed to negotiate for the hostages!

Leadership: Biden Asks Hamas Politely If They Might Maybe Consider Perhaps Letting Hostages Go If They Feel Like It

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning and inspiring display of leadership, President Joe Biden spoke with leaders of the terrorist organization Hamas to politely ask if they could maybe think about releasing some of their American hostages, potentially, if it was okay with them.

babylonbee.com

Leadership: Biden Asks Hamas Politely If They Might Maybe Consider Perhaps Letting Hostages Go If They Feel Like It
POLITICS·Oct 20, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning and inspiring display of leadership, President Joe Biden spoke with leaders of the terrorist organization Hamas to politely ask if they could maybe think about releasing some of their American hostages, potentially, if it was okay with them.
"Hello, Hummus?" Biden said in a leaked transcript of the phone call. "Listen, folks. I've been told you have some Americans there. I was hoping you might be willing to…you know…maybe…let them go. I'm willing to do whatever you want to get you to agree to this. What's that, now? You want another $100 million? Ok, no problem. And supplies to make rockets? I can make that happen. I'd appreciate it if you would think about letting our people go. If you feel like it. Not trying to pressure you. You fellas sound like nice guys. I knew a nice Muslim fella once. Barack. He was…he was the…anyway. Please consider my request. If you can. Take care now. Larvinporginsarbit."
The White House hailed the call as a true moment of American foreign policy power. "The president spoke firmly with the Hamas leaders," said history-making black lesbian Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is gay and black. "He made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that the United States would like Hamas to think about maybe doing something we asked them to do, as long as they felt like it."
At publishing time, Biden was reportedly enjoying a nap, after which he would await instructions from his handlers about what he should give Hamas next.