G7: Escaped monkey claims ISIS has been pushed back

[Bleipriester]

An unknown monkey that unexpectedly showed up at the G7 summit in Germany explained that ISIS has been pushed back. The monkey probably escaped from a zoo located in the US and was carried to Europe in a cargo ship by mistake. German zoo keepers tried to capture the monkey but it was too fast as it climbed above a tree and screamed downwards that ISIS has been pushed back, fiercely resisting all attempts to calm it down. Finally, the monkey was attracted by a Bavarian veal sausage it mistook for a banana and could safely be taken home after it got a good comrade on its level to play with.