Fony Man (IRA)


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Sep 22, 2013
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Here's a media-mock story I had to write for the summer, and it's inspired by The Truman Show. Thanks,


Isaac Satan was CIA/IRA and traveled around North America in the summer of 2020 looking for suspicious romantics who falsely claimed to be part of the CIA or IRA. Isaac (code-name: Green Shadow) considered himself the executor of realism in terms of revolutionary identity and therefore hunted anyone who falsely presented themselves as idealistic radicals in the modern world! He was a real nerdy bully.


Isaac donned a hockey mask and purchased a small buzzing chainsaw and rented a glowing truck and then drove around campgrounds in Canada looking for romantic couples to spy on and record. When he overheard men telling their girlfriends they were actually covert members of the CIA/IRA, Isaac ('Green Shadow') drove his truck up to their campsite and scared the living daylights out of them with his chainsaw.


Isaac was quite successful in his hunting of fonies and he decided to celebrate by going to eBay and purchasing a vintage video-game system and Q-Bert game and spent hours playing the game and thinking imaginatively about how the symbolic hopping of the protagonist could represent a universal perception of the value of overcoming hurdles to find one's true place in existence.


Isaac ('Green Shadow') then came upon a handsome couple camping in the forest and sitting by a tree outside Quebec (Canada). The man was telling his girlfriend he was a secret agent of the CIA/IRA. Isaac decided to especially prosecute and frighten this careless and boasting deceptive man.


Isaac popped out from behind the tree the man was sitting by with his girlfriend, whispering careless lies of intrigue into her ears that night. Isaac ('Green Shadow') was wearing a hockey-mask and wielded his buzzing chainsaw and scared the man almost to death. He then tied the man up after letting the man's girlfriend flee and took the man to his rented hotel suite where there was a rented billiards table with a glowing digital holographic grid shining down upon the billiards table itself. Isaac ('Green Shadow') commanded the still frigthened man to play billiards on the holographic bee-hive geometric matrix groups of shapes, trying to get the balls to rest on the geometric shapes in some clever proportion or array. Isaac explained that if the man failed to do this trick with success, he'd cut the man's left hand off with his chainsaw.


The poor man was shuddering but managed to perform the daring trick, since the man happened to be an excellent billiards player who'd played the game for years with his college buddies at Dartmouth. Isaac told the relieved man he was free to leave but that he'd earned the temporary moniker or alias 'Fony Man' and should never ever again lie about being part of the CIA/IRA. Isaac then saw the man run away and laughed. Isaac continued to follow the man invisibly over the next week and learned he was dating an American actress. Isaac spied on this couple and overheard the man tell his actress-girlfriend how he'd met a real 'psycho-hunter' who'd given him the fearful alias 'Fony Man' and why. His girlfriend laughed and explained Hollywood (USA) was actually making a movie about a similar/congruent subject called Liar, Liar (Jim Carrey).


The man ended up escaping from Isaac's clutches and decided he was finally at liberty to resume his previous secure life of romance and deception. However, this frightened man opted, for personal reasons, never ever again to lie about being part of the CIA/IRA.


If you know someone who resembles the man in this story such as 'Fony Man' or someone else, please contact your local politicians and inform them that modern media makes it seem cool to talk loudly about participation in political organizations. This isn't a laughing matter, man!


GOD: What the hell was the moral of that humor-tale?
SATAN: Of course, it was that you should be wary of the 'Fony Man' for your kids.
GOD: What?
SATAN: Yes; lying about your political affiliations is dangerous in the age of media.
GOD: Oh.


"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

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