Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed

[Doc7505]

Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life
Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed​

Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Dianne Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.

babylonbee.com

Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
"An attempt on my life by the Jedi has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger," said Feinstein to roaring applause. "I feel great now! The Democrat Party is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be... unnatural."
Feinstein then said proclaimed that she hopes to serve in Congress for another 100 years.
"Power! Unlimited power!" shouted the scarred senator over the applause while whirling her electric wheelchair in circles until it ran over the foot of Senator Bernie Sanders. Witnesses later saw her at a Planned Parenthood benefit looking lively as ever in a speech in which she praised the abortion provider for its skill in killing younglings.
At publishing time, a tired, frail Senator Mitch McConnell was overheard saying, "Into exile, I must go. Failed, I have," before escaping to the swamps of Kentucky, with intentions of waiting for the Chosen One with wavy blond hair and orange skin to rise to bring balance to The Force.


Commentary:
Unfortunately, I don't believe that it is Shingles that incapacitated the Senator but a stroke. It shows in her face and the fact she now requires a wheelchair.
All in all, this is very sad....and stupid. She belongs home with family.

 

[Leweman]

Her and Biden fuck in that movie X. Most people won't get it.

 

[Calypso Jones]

 

[Calypso Jones]

THIS is the actual photo of her returning to senate yesterday. Babylon Bee is more factual news source than satire on this story.



Actually the emperor palpatine photo looks healthier.

 

[Leweman]

THIS is the actual photo of her returning to senate yesterday. Babylon Bee is more factual news source than satire on this story.

She's the most coherent looking democrat in history. She should count votes.

 

[ActionJackson]

Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life
Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed​

Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Dianne Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.

babylonbee.com

Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
"An attempt on my life by the Jedi has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger," said Feinstein to roaring applause. "I feel great now! The Democrat Party is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be... unnatural."
Feinstein then said proclaimed that she hopes to serve in Congress for another 100 years.
"Power! Unlimited power!" shouted the scarred senator over the applause while whirling her electric wheelchair in circles until it ran over the foot of Senator Bernie Sanders. Witnesses later saw her at a Planned Parenthood benefit looking lively as ever in a speech in which she praised the abortion provider for its skill in killing younglings.
At publishing time, a tired, frail Senator Mitch McConnell was overheard saying, "Into exile, I must go. Failed, I have," before escaping to the swamps of Kentucky, with intentions of waiting for the Chosen One with wavy blond hair and orange skin to rise to bring balance to The Force.


Commentary:
Unfortunately, I don't believe that it is Shingles that incapacitated the Senator but a stroke. It shows in her face and the fact she now requires a wheelchair.
All in all, this is very sad....and stupid. She belongs home with family.

I thought maybe her dog confused her with his bowl of food.

 

[Calypso Jones]

They're gonna have to carry her out in a body bag.

They might get her out of there still barely alive if she gets to the point where she wants to lie down

 

[Anomalism]

Actually the emperor palpatine photo looks healthier.

No shit. Somebody help that old woman find her grandchildren.

 

[ActionJackson]

They're gonna have to carry her out in a body bag.

They might get her out of there still barely alive if she gets to the point where she wants to lie down

Being Dems ... they'll probably allow her to vote even when she's dead.

 

[BackAgain]

Not enough wrinkles.

 

[Votto]

She is such a good politician, I predict that when she dies she will win another term

Just a hunch.

 

[ActionJackson]

She is such a good politician, I predict that when she dies she will win another term

Just a hunch.

A premonition, or are you talking about her back?

 

[Calypso Jones]

She'll be dead by January 2024

 

[luiza]

What a bare faced liar . And not even using a recent photo.

Anyway, I like her new look . Catches her personality perfectly

 

[two_iron]

That's just wrong. That thing should be allowed to peacefully slip back up satan's asshole and reside in the bowels of hell for eternity.

I actually retched a little bit. Shitlibs have that effect on me.

 

[themirrorthief]

I thought maybe her dog confused her with his bowl of food.

nobody has ate that hag in many decades

 

[ActionJackson]

nobody has ate that hag in many decades

That's why here dog didn't finish his supper.