Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who's A Catholic This Time

[Votto]

Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who's A Catholic This Time​

Church·Apr 21, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

Paolo Bona, Shutterstock.com​

VATICAN CITY — Following the death of Pope Francis, cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church have expressed interest in electing a pope who's actually Catholic this time.

"Call me crazy, but I think the leader of the Catholic Church should be Catholic," said Cardinal Gerard Poupard, archbishop of the church in France. "It has worked pretty well in the past. Maybe we should try that again."

Cardinals are reportedly eager to move past the papacy of Francis and focus on such classic doctrines such as all the stuff that's in the Bible and Catholic teaching. "I actually can't remember what's in the Bible at this point," said Poupard. "We should see what it says. It might be important."

"After Francis, it's clear that it's time to go back to basics," said another cardinal who spoke on condition of anonymity. "We're strongly considering going with a Catholic pick this round."

Gay communists around the world were outraged by the suggestion. "If the Catholic Church picks a Catholic Pope, it's literal genocide," said local drag queen and lapsed Catholic Wren Floriana. "The Vatican must be stopped before billions die."

At publishing time, Vatican officials had reportedly narrowed their candidates down to Mark Wahlberg, Mel Gibson, and JD Vance.

 

[Crepitus]

Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who's A Catholic This Time​

So less like Jesus and more conservative republican this time then.

 

[MisterBeale]

So less like Jesus and more conservative republican this time then.

 

[Crepitus]

Republican Jesus of course.

 

[MisterBeale]

Republican Jesus of course.

View attachment 1103110

hmmm. . . I did not know you are a christian.

Are you sure he said those things?

 

[Crepitus]

hmmm. . . I did not know you are a christian.

Are you sure he said those things?

I'm not, but I can hear as well as any if not better.

 

[Votto]

So less like Jesus and more conservative republican this time then.

In the entire history of the Catholic church, there has never been a Black Pope, yet not a word from the Left about this.

Why?

Would Jesus exclude Blacks as well?

Oh, that's right, most of the clergy in Africa are conservative

My bad.

 

[Crepitus]

In the entire history of the Catholic church, there has never been a Black Pope, yet not a word from the Left about this.

Why?

Would Jesus exclude Blacks as well?

Oh, that's right, most of the clergy in Africa are conservative

My bad.

Jesus was brown, kiddo.

And catholics are notorious racists, just like conservatives, so I don't know why you are surprised there have been no black popes.

 

[marvin martian]

In the entire history of the Catholic church, there has never been a Black Pope, yet not a word from the Left about this.

Why?

Would Jesus exclude Blacks as well?

Oh, that's right, most of the clergy in Africa are conservative

My bad.

I don't expect them to correct this oversight anytime soon.

 

[Cellblock2429]

Jesus was brown, kiddo.

And catholics are notorious racists, just like conservatives, so I don't know why you are surprised there have been no black popes.

/—-/ When Bible thumpers barred Black from their churches, the two Catholic Churches in my home town welcome them in,

 

[Votto]

Jesus was brown, kiddo.

And catholics are notorious racists, just like conservatives, so I don't know why you are surprised there have been no black popes.

Pope Francis was a racist?

Or is that all Catholics other than your Lefty Pope Francis?

 

[marvin martian]

Jesus was brown, kiddo.

And catholics are notorious racists, just like conservatives, so I don't know why you are surprised there have been no black popes.

Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi are Catholics.

Why did you vote for a racist?

 

[22lcidw]

So less like Jesus and more conservative republican this time then.

They better push for families again. Cause the families are dying and when the money is gone mass poverty is the result. That is the most important agenda ever. Marriage isn't a musical.

 

[pknopp]

In the entire history of the Catholic church, there has never been a Black Pope, yet not a word from the Left about this. y.

I've seen it mentioned quite a few times lately

https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/africans-root-first-black-pope-modern-history-2025-04-22/

Will we see first black or Asian Pope? Contenders to replace Francis

 

[marvin martian]

I've seen it mentioned quite a few times lately

https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/africans-root-first-black-pope-modern-history-2025-04-22/

Will we see first black or Asian Pope? Contenders to replace Francis

No. The College of Cardinals is overwhelmingly "progressive", and thus racist.

 

[toobfreak]

Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who's A Catholic This Time​

You mean as opposed to electing a guy who first espouses the value of the family, then goes on to say he is fine with people being gay?

 

[Votto]

No. The College of Cardinals is overwhelmingly "progressive", and thus racist.

Speaking of which, the one profession with the least Blacks are lawyers

And as we all know, lawyers give 99.999999999999% of their money to the DNC, with a long list of federal judges to beat down any GOP President in office.

Then these same lawyers lecture the rest of the country in politics about inclusion and racism.

You just can't make this stuff up.

 

[Mack The Finger]

LIBs only care about the Catholic church when it suits the agenda.

 

[MisterBeale]

Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who's A Catholic This Time​

Church·Apr 21, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

Paolo Bona, Shutterstock.com​

View attachment 1103102

VATICAN CITY — Following the death of Pope Francis, cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church have expressed interest in electing a pope who's actually Catholic this time.

"Call me crazy, but I think the leader of the Catholic Church should be Catholic," said Cardinal Gerard Poupard, archbishop of the church in France. "It has worked pretty well in the past. Maybe we should try that again."

Cardinals are reportedly eager to move past the papacy of Francis and focus on such classic doctrines such as all the stuff that's in the Bible and Catholic teaching. "I actually can't remember what's in the Bible at this point," said Poupard. "We should see what it says. It might be important."

"After Francis, it's clear that it's time to go back to basics," said another cardinal who spoke on condition of anonymity. "We're strongly considering going with a Catholic pick this round."

Gay communists around the world were outraged by the suggestion. "If the Catholic Church picks a Catholic Pope, it's literal genocide," said local drag queen and lapsed Catholic Wren Floriana. "The Vatican must be stopped before billions die."

At publishing time, Vatican officials had reportedly narrowed their candidates down to Mark Wahlberg, Mel Gibson, and JD Vance.