Biden Demands Israel Fight Rest Of War Using Nerf Guns

[Votto]

Biden Demands Israel Fight Rest Of War Using Nerf Guns
POLITICS·Apr 5, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden threatened to end U.S. aid to Israel unless the IDF complies with a new demand to fight the rest of the war against Gaza armed with only Nerf guns.
"It's Nerf or nothin'!" Biden exclaimed during a brief call to Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. "You can attack Hamas with the old school revolver, the bow and arrow, heck you can use a gatling gun -- so long as all the bullets are Nerf! You hear me, Bibi?!"
Netanyahu reportedly laughed in response.


President Biden has previously said his support of Israel is unwavering, but pressure from "The Squad," a group of ultra-liberal members of Congress, may be the straw that broke the camel's back. According to sources, Rep Rashida Tlaib of Michigan threatened to hold up an angry sign about Joe Biden if he didn't change his position.
"We're coming for you, Joe!" Tlaib and other members of the squad were heard saying at a local Denny's. "You need our support to win re-election! There are dozens of us! Dozens!"
Though Netanyahu was not particularly receptive to the demand, sources within the Israel Defense Force (IDF) indicate they are testing the viability of Nerf weaponry anyway because it's so fun.
We were able to get an exclusive peak at a Nerf training exercise:

Soldier 1: [combatant dives while simultenously firing from a Nerf DinosSquad Dino-Clash Blaster] Pew pew! I got you!
Soldier 2: Nuh-uh! It bounced off my N-Strike Tactical Vest. I'm still alive!

At publishing time, IDF soldiers commenced a ground invasion of Rafah, reportedly still carrying a few Nerf Modulus Demolishers just for kicks.

 

[Failzero]

Cream Soda Spritzers

 

[beautress]

Biden Demands Israel Fight Rest Of War Using Nerf Guns
POLITICS·Apr 5, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden threatened to end U.S. aid to Israel unless the IDF complies with a new demand to fight the rest of the war against Gaza armed with only Nerf guns.
"It's Nerf or nothin'!" Biden exclaimed during a brief call to Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. "You can attack Hamas with the old school revolver, the bow and arrow, heck you can use a gatling gun -- so long as all the bullets are Nerf! You hear me, Bibi?!"
Netanyahu reportedly laughed in response.


President Biden has previously said his support of Israel is unwavering, but pressure from "The Squad," a group of ultra-liberal members of Congress, may be the straw that broke the camel's back. According to sources, Rep Rashida Tlaib of Michigan threatened to hold up an angry sign about Joe Biden if he didn't change his position.
"We're coming for you, Joe!" Tlaib and other members of the squad were heard saying at a local Denny's. "You need our support to win re-election! There are dozens of us! Dozens!"
Though Netanyahu was not particularly receptive to the demand, sources within the Israel Defense Force (IDF) indicate they are testing the viability of Nerf weaponry anyway because it's so fun.
We were able to get an exclusive peak at a Nerf training exercise:

At publishing time, IDF soldiers commenced a ground invasion of Rafah, reportedly still carrying a few Nerf Modulus Demolishers just for kicks.

War is not a joke. Maybe President Biden hasn't had the experience of having a foreign enemy sending gunfire his way in war. If I were him, I would get America's top military chief to explain contemporary military issues for him. I know he means well, but it would benefit the American people if they heard it from Biden's best General. And good or not, that's what I think.

 

[Persuader]

War is not a joke. Maybe President Biden hasn't had the experience of having a foreign enemy sending gunfire his way in war. If I were him, I would get America's top military chief to explain contemporary military issues for him. I know he means well, but it would benefit the American people if they heard it from Biden's best General. And good or not, that's what I think.

Very weak boyo....all you do is demonstrate your lack of knowledge regarding biden and his 'best general' bwaaaaaaaaa laughable but so indicative of the uninformed....not your fault the MSM just feeds you garbage.

Biden was a dumbass all his life and forced to drop out of his first run because of his plagerizing and lying...a prime example of a professional politician that has been corrupted for years....and yet you seem to expect something from him???

Regarding the military.....you should first understand the military is devoted to 'wokeness' the best generals were forced out long ago during obamas tenure...general austin is nothing more than a liar and idiot of the first order....prime example of affirmative action in the military....I watched him claim that he and general miley served in combat together....what a joke...neither one of them ever saw combat....they were desk generals and not even to mention if we had a sane military leadership miley would have been charged with treason...regarding how he informed the chinese he would notify them if Trump decided to attack them.

Wake up people...get informed...turn off tv news...just propaganda...you have to search for the truth if you want it...too many are just so complacent not willing to become informed...just content to lean back in their lazy boy have a beer whilst listening to morons on the alphabet media with their biased b.s.

 

[beautress]

Very weak boyo....all you do is demonstrate your lack of knowledge regarding biden and his 'best general' bwaaaaaaaaa laughable but so indicative of the uninformed....not your fault the MSM just feeds you garbage.

Biden was a dumbass all his life and forced to drop out of his first run because of his plagerizing and lying...a prime example of a professional politician that has been corrupted for years....and yet you seem to expect something from him???

Regarding the military.....you should first understand the military is devoted to 'wokeness' the best generals were forced out long ago during obamas tenure...general austin is nothing more than a liar and idiot of the first order....prime example of affirmative action in the military....I watched him claim that he and general miley served in combat together....what a joke...neither one of them ever saw combat....they were desk generals and not even to mention if we had a sane military leadership miley would have been charged with treason...regarding how he informed the chinese he would notify them if Trump decided to attack them.

Wake up people...get informed...turn off tv news...just propaganda...you have to search for the truth if you want it...too many are just so complacent not willing to become informed...just content to lean back in their lazy boy have a beer whilst listening to morons on the alphabet media with their biased b.s.

I figured

 

[beautress]

I figured

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