Canada, also known as
America's Hat,
Soviet Canuckistan, or
The Shizzle North of Hizzle, but more commonly known as
the Great White North, is situated somewhere near the inconsequential
continental U.S.A., and slightly south of the
North Pole. The
United Nations has managed to narrow it down further to not only north of the U.S. but also up, eh?
To answer the question the entire world is asking,
yes, Canada has an Army, and
no, Canada doesn't know about it.
Canadians are known for their peacefulness and politeness in distressing situations, such as during a
war or
hockey playoffs.
The world looks to Canada for international peace-keepers, since they possess no weapons other than snow shovels, and their jovial accent and flannel clothing are comforting.
The unanimously
[1] agreed upon capital of Canada is
Toronto, although a small number of government offices are located in the far less important city of
Ottawa. Proposals made entirely and only by Torontonians have been made to move said offices to Toronto, but have yet to be approved. The city has considered separating from the country because of this. The rest of Canada, meanwhile, continues to think that Toronto "blows" and that the city's curling team,
the Leafs, "suck".
The world sees Canada as America's dorky half brother. Canada and the USA share a common mother, that being
England, but while America's father was apparently
Jesus, Canada's was
France. While little brother Canada may not be able to throw the ball as far as its "cool" older half-brother
America, Canada can at least find itself on a map (of course, Canada finds itself by locating the USA and going north, much like Mexicans find America by locating Mexico and going north).