Weatherman2020
Diamond Member
"Running low on your supply of nukes for home defense, hunting, target practice, or overthrowing the government? Come on down!" says a salesperson in a commercial for the sale. "Whether you're looking for an intercontinental ballistic missile, a short-range tactical nuke, or even a conventional explosive projectile, we've got you covered! We've got big nukes, we've got small nukes, we've got nukes for every age and price range. Don't go to a competitor for one of those cheap knock-off nukes -- get your officially certified anti-government nuke today!"
"SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY -- DON'T MISS THIS EXPLOSIVE DEAL!"
Bass Pro Shops also has a large selection of pre-owned nukes purchased from the U.S. government, Iran, and North Korea -- available for any private citizen to come and purchase at "mind-blowing prices" this weekend only.
At publishing time, the outdoor megastore had further revealed that customers making any purchase of $50 or more this weekend will be given a "Fat Man" shoulder-mounted mini nuke launcher absolutely free. Wow!
Bass Pro Shops Announces 2-for-1 Sale On All Nuclear Missiles
U.S.—In a bit of exciting news for firearms enthusiasts and those who wish to deter their government from becoming tyrannical, Bass Pro Shops has announced that its semi-annual 2-for-1 nuke sale will be kicking off this weekend. Every nuclear weapon in the company's arsenal will be completely...
babylonbee.com