Zone1 Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference

[Votto]

Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference​

Family·Apr 30, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

You wake up in the middle of the night to discover a toddler has silently been staring at you for the last hour. Is it your normal child... or is it a demon? Parents have struggled with this question for thousands of years. That's why we've consulted the brightest toddler scientists to answer the age-old question: is your kid demon-possessed or just a typical toddler?

Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.

Normal Toddler: Screams in an unintelligible language while writhing on the floor.
Demon-Possessed: Same, but sounds kind of Latin.

Normal Toddler: Levitates when denied screen time.
Demon-Possessed: Levitates when denied chance to watch The View.

Normal Toddler: Masquerades in front of others as angel of light.
Demon-Possessed: Same.

Normal Toddler: Yells any known obscenities in church or other holy places
Demon-Possessed: Can also yell obscenities in French!

Normal Toddler: Tempts you to drink.
Demon-Possessed: Just made you an Old Fashioned.

Normal Toddler: Can speak perfect Latin (home-schooled).
Demon-Possessed: Can speak perfect Latin (but not home-schooled).

Normal Toddler: Leaves footprints on the ceiling, somehow.
Demon-Possessed: Walks on ceiling but no footprints.

Normal Toddler: Loves Bluey.
Demon-Possessed: Hates Bluey. (SEEK EXORCIST IMMEDIATELY)

Wow! Pretty hard to tell apart. We think we'll go home and put on some Bluey.

 

[TNHarley]

IDK what bluey is, but i liked the rest of it. lol

 

[Votto]

IDK what bluey is, but i liked the rest of it. lol

It's best you not know



I can't stand it myself.

 

[Zincwarrior]

Wait, this assumes there is a difference?

 

[Votto]

Wait, this assumes there is a difference?

Well played.

 

[hjmick]

Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference​

Family·Apr 30, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1106525

You wake up in the middle of the night to discover a toddler has silently been staring at you for the last hour. Is it your normal child... or is it a demon? Parents have struggled with this question for thousands of years. That's why we've consulted the brightest toddler scientists to answer the age-old question: is your kid demon-possessed or just a typical toddler?

Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.

Normal Toddler: Screams in an unintelligible language while writhing on the floor.
Demon-Possessed: Same, but sounds kind of Latin.

Normal Toddler: Levitates when denied screen time.
Demon-Possessed: Levitates when denied chance to watch The View.

Normal Toddler: Masquerades in front of others as angel of light.
Demon-Possessed: Same.

Normal Toddler: Yells any known obscenities in church or other holy places
Demon-Possessed: Can also yell obscenities in French!

Normal Toddler: Tempts you to drink.
Demon-Possessed: Just made you an Old Fashioned.

Normal Toddler: Can speak perfect Latin (home-schooled).
Demon-Possessed: Can speak perfect Latin (but not home-schooled).

Normal Toddler: Leaves footprints on the ceiling, somehow.
Demon-Possessed: Walks on ceiling but no footprints.

Normal Toddler: Loves Bluey.
Demon-Possessed: Hates Bluey. (SEEK EXORCIST IMMEDIATELY)

Wow! Pretty hard to tell apart. We think we'll go home and put on some Bluey.

Thanks. Just sent this to my daughter... her kid... oy... I don't even want to be around the little shit. No joke.

 

[Manonthestreet]

We had 1 Angel and 1 beast. We could take the angel anywhere anytime, movies concerts you name it. The other not so much

 

[Donald H]

Even most Catholics have stopped believing in supernatural bullshit.

Ding has and Meriweather did at one time.

 

[alang1216]

Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference​

Family·Apr 30, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1106525

You wake up in the middle of the night to discover a toddler has silently been staring at you for the last hour. Is it your normal child... or is it a demon? Parents have struggled with this question for thousands of years. That's why we've consulted the brightest toddler scientists to answer the age-old question: is your kid demon-possessed or just a typical toddler?

Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.

Normal Toddler: Screams in an unintelligible language while writhing on the floor.
Demon-Possessed: Same, but sounds kind of Latin.

Normal Toddler: Levitates when denied screen time.
Demon-Possessed: Levitates when denied chance to watch The View.

Normal Toddler: Masquerades in front of others as angel of light.
Demon-Possessed: Same.

Normal Toddler: Yells any known obscenities in church or other holy places
Demon-Possessed: Can also yell obscenities in French!

Normal Toddler: Tempts you to drink.
Demon-Possessed: Just made you an Old Fashioned.

Normal Toddler: Can speak perfect Latin (home-schooled).
Demon-Possessed: Can speak perfect Latin (but not home-schooled).

Normal Toddler: Leaves footprints on the ceiling, somehow.
Demon-Possessed: Walks on ceiling but no footprints.

Normal Toddler: Loves Bluey.
Demon-Possessed: Hates Bluey. (SEEK EXORCIST IMMEDIATELY)

Wow! Pretty hard to tell apart. We think we'll go home and put on some Bluey.

Trick question, ALL toddlers are demon-possessed. And why we love them.

 

[Votto]

Even most Catholics have stopped believing in supernatural bullshit.

Ding has and Meriweather did at one time.

Why would people who believe in God also believe in the supernatural?

Crazy.