Almost 102

[WillPower]

I woke up Saturday morning feeling sweaty with a headache and aching muscles in my shoulders....oh oh. So I grabbed my thermometer and stuck it under my tongue for about 10 minutes....almost 102. DAMN! Now what? So I slammed two 500mg Tylenol and pondered my demise. Since I'm in the target age group the China Virus enjoys killing, I called my banker at home and told him my final wishes should I kick the bucket. He suggested I go to the nearest ER but I figured if there was a place I'd most likely contract the killer, an ER would be it. Two more temp checks and the mercury didn't move. I left the device on the bathroom sink and later in the day picked it up again...still almost 102. WAIT A MINUTE! The Tylenol had worn off. I keep my home a comfortable 75 degrees so how could my bathroom be almost 30 degrees hotter? And then it dawned on me.....I never shook the damn thing to get the mercury to return to it's baseline. It had been sitting at 102 for almost 2 years....the last time I had the flu. So I gave it a hard shake. And then another. After 4 or 5 hard shakes it was back under 96. Stuck it under my tongue for ten minutes and....

99. Boy was my face red.

 

[MarathonMike]

Well something must be going on if you woke up achy and sweaty.....unless you were having one heckuva dream.

 

[WillPower]

Well something must be going on if you woke up achy and sweaty.....unless you were having one heckuva dream.

I have to use a 6" thick foam pad instead of a mattress due to old injuries....it's pretty much shot. If I sleep more than 5 hours my back and shoulders feel like I just wrestled Jesse Ventura. The place I got new ones every few years went out of business. So that explains the aches....and yeah, I may have had an encounter with a young Claudia Cardinale in my dream.

 

[ReinyDays]

"Maybe it's a tumor" ...

 

[Crixus]

I woke up Saturday morning feeling sweaty with a headache and aching muscles in my shoulders....oh oh. So I grabbed my thermometer and stuck it under my tongue for about 10 minutes....almost 102. DAMN! Now what? So I slammed two 500mg Tylenol and pondered my demise. Since I'm in the target age group the China Virus enjoys killing, I called my banker at home and told him my final wishes should I kick the bucket. He suggested I go to the nearest ER but I figured if there was a place I'd most likely contract the killer, an ER would be it. Two more temp checks and the mercury didn't move. I left the device on the bathroom sink and later in the day picked it up again...still almost 102. WAIT A MINUTE! The Tylenol had worn off. I keep my home a comfortable 75 degrees so how could my bathroom be almost 30 degrees hotter? And then it dawned on me.....I never shook the damn thing to get the mercury to return to it's baseline. It had been sitting at 102 for almost 2 years....the last time I had the flu. So I gave it a hard shake. And then another. After 4 or 5 hard shakes it was back under 96. Stuck it under my tongue for ten minutes and....

99. Boy was my face red.

Whew! Glad it wasn't the plague! Oak pollin has overwhelmed ER's here.

 

[WillPower]

"Maybe it's a tumor" ...

Wishful thinking, dirtbag?

 

[WillPower]

E]


Whew! Glad it wasn't the plague! Oak pollin has overwhelmed ER's here.

Oleanders and ragweed here in Phoenix....pretty much average but we've had a lot of rain so it's sticking around....Bermuda grass is my nemesis...that shit is toxic to me.

 

[okfine]

I woke up Saturday morning feeling sweaty with a headache and aching muscles in my shoulders....oh oh. So I grabbed my thermometer and stuck it under my tongue for about 10 minutes....almost 102. DAMN! Now what? So I slammed two 500mg Tylenol and pondered my demise. Since I'm in the target age group the China Virus enjoys killing, I called my banker at home and told him my final wishes should I kick the bucket. He suggested I go to the nearest ER but I figured if there was a place I'd most likely contract the killer, an ER would be it. Two more temp checks and the mercury didn't move. I left the device on the bathroom sink and later in the day picked it up again...still almost 102. WAIT A MINUTE! The Tylenol had worn off. I keep my home a comfortable 75 degrees so how could my bathroom be almost 30 degrees hotter? And then it dawned on me.....I never shook the damn thing to get the mercury to return to it's baseline. It had been sitting at 102 for almost 2 years....the last time I had the flu. So I gave it a hard shake. And then another. After 4 or 5 hard shakes it was back under 96. Stuck it under my tongue for ten minutes and....

99. Boy was my face red.

Hot flashes? male menopause

 

[B. Kidd]

Well something must be going on if you woke up achy and sweaty.....unless you were having one heckuva dream.

I have to use a 6" thick foam pad instead of a mattress due to old injuries....it's pretty much shot. If I sleep more than 5 hours my back and shoulders feel like I just wrestled Jesse Ventura. The place I got new ones every few years went out of business. So that explains the aches....and yeah, I may have had an encounter with a young Claudia Cardinale in my dream.

Hoochie Mama!!!

 

[Sun Devil 92]

Get better.

 

[WillPower]

Hot flashes? male menopause

Speak for yourself, fruitcake.

 

[OldLady]

"Maybe it's a tumor" ...

Wishful thinking, dirtbag?

I laughed because one side of my family is pretty danged neurotic and every time someone gets any ache or pain or abnormal sensation, they think it's cancer. I wasn't hoping you have a tumor.

 

[Unkotare]

"Maybe it's a tumor" ...

 

[Unkotare]

I woke up Saturday morning feeling sweaty with a headache and aching muscles in my shoulders....oh oh. So I grabbed my thermometer and stuck it under my tongue for about 10 minutes....almost 102. DAMN! Now what? So I slammed two 500mg Tylenol and pondered my demise. Since I'm in the target age group the China Virus enjoys killing, I called my banker at home and told him my final wishes should I kick the bucket. He suggested I go to the nearest ER but I figured if there was a place I'd most likely contract the killer, an ER would be it. Two more temp checks and the mercury didn't move. I left the device on the bathroom sink and later in the day picked it up again...still almost 102. WAIT A MINUTE! The Tylenol had worn off. I keep my home a comfortable 75 degrees so how could my bathroom be almost 30 degrees hotter? And then it dawned on me.....I never shook the damn thing to get the mercury to return to it's baseline. It had been sitting at 102 for almost 2 years....the last time I had the flu. So I gave it a hard shake. And then another. After 4 or 5 hard shakes it was back under 96. Stuck it under my tongue for ten minutes and....

99. Boy was my face red.

Coronadementia

 

[JOSweetHeart]

Just go to the doctor if your health does not improve.

Good luck and God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[WillPower]

Just go to the doctor if your health does not improve.

Good luck and God bless you always!!!

Holly

I'm fine, no worries.

 

[Unkotare]

"Fine"...mmm...unlikely...

 

[WillPower]

Urban Dictionary: Unkotare

unkotare \ woon-ko-ta-re \ , noun; Japanese. Roughly translated as dripping poop. This word is used to describe a pornographic genre commonly known as Scat.

www.urbandictionary.com

 

[Unkotare]

I wonder if the old dotard remembered to pull the thermometer out of his ass when he was done (or maybe he didn’t want to...).

 

[RoshawnMarkwees]

I wonder if the old dotard remembered to pull the thermometer out of his ass when he was done (or maybe he didn’t want to...).

Speaking of which...
What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?



...the taste.