Accept old age. Not doing so could be problematic.

Raynine

Raynine

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This must be shared as a medical safety warning:

If you are old, stay that way. It could spare you a lot of issues!

I am nearly 80 and my wife is just a few years younger. Last night we decided to celebrate the Christmas season with a commemorative roll in the hay. I swallowed a blue pill, and she was as beautiful ever judging by the substantial standing at attention that occurred. Things started out quite well, and the idea of recapturing youth seemed like a magical gift brought to us by modern pharmacology. Then my gym workout intervened when I tried to adjust my position. I got a severe cramp in the back of my left leg and recoiled like a fish on a hook! My wife said I looked like a human in the late stages of acute electrocution!

It went downhill from there. I rolled on the wife’s ankle, and she arched her back to escape! She was near the edge of the bed and hit the floor like an anvil dropped from the ceiling! My leg took some time to recover, and I could hear her babbling incoherently like a quarterback that just had his bell rung! I used my arms to pull myself to the side of the bed the wife had just vacated and tried to comfort her as I was still incapacitated from the cramp!

Today my wife is still walking with a limp, and we must decide what to tell her personal physician if things do not improve by next week. If my wife tells the doctor that the injury is the result of rough sex, we fear she may be diagnosed with dementia!

You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
 
Raynine said:
This must be shared as a medical safety warning:

If you are old, stay that way. It could spare you a lot of issues!

I am nearly 80 and my wife is just a few years younger. Last night we decided to celebrate the Christmas season with a commemorative roll in the hay. I swallowed a blue pill, and she was as beautiful ever judging by the substantial standing at attention that occurred. Things started out quite well, and the idea of recapturing youth seemed like a magical gift brought to us by modern pharmacology. Then my gym workout intervened when I tried to adjust my position. I got a severe cramp in the back of my left leg and recoiled like a fish on a hook! My wife said I looked like a human in the late stages of acute electrocution!

It went downhill from there. I rolled on the wife’s ankle, and she arched her back to escape! She was near the edge of the bed and hit the floor like an anvil dropped from the ceiling! My leg took some time to recover, and I could hear her babbling incoherently like a quarterback that just had his bell rung! I used my arms to pull myself to the side of the bed the wife had just vacated and tried to comfort her as I was still incapacitated from the cramp!

Today my wife is still walking with a limp, and we must decide what to tell her personal physician if things do not improve by next week. If my wife tells the doctor that the injury is the result of rough sex, we fear she may be diagnosed with dementia!

You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
Click to expand...
Imagine this. Have your wife lay on the edge of the bed, put a pillow under her hips, prop that snapper up high and go to pound town on it. Imagine her legs almost vertical, you can use them for support. Mumble sweet nothings if you must. Be your best.
 
Raynine said:
This must be shared as a medical safety warning:

If you are old, stay that way. It could spare you a lot of issues!

I am nearly 80 and my wife is just a few years younger. Last night we decided to celebrate the Christmas season with a commemorative roll in the hay. I swallowed a blue pill, and she was as beautiful ever judging by the substantial standing at attention that occurred. Things started out quite well, and the idea of recapturing youth seemed like a magical gift brought to us by modern pharmacology. Then my gym workout intervened when I tried to adjust my position. I got a severe cramp in the back of my left leg and recoiled like a fish on a hook! My wife said I looked like a human in the late stages of acute electrocution!

It went downhill from there. I rolled on the wife’s ankle, and she arched her back to escape! She was near the edge of the bed and hit the floor like an anvil dropped from the ceiling! My leg took some time to recover, and I could hear her babbling incoherently like a quarterback that just had his bell rung! I used my arms to pull myself to the side of the bed the wife had just vacated and tried to comfort her as I was still incapacitated from the cramp!

Today my wife is still walking with a limp, and we must decide what to tell her personal physician if things do not improve by next week. If my wife tells the doctor that the injury is the result of rough sex, we fear she may be diagnosed with dementia!

You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
Click to expand...
I cramped up at 25. Still one of the funnier moments for our marriage.

Nothing like going from [ ] to absolute pain in a split second.
 
Raynine said:
You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
Click to expand...
Dude, don't give up. Just be a little smarter.

Hydrate with lytes and don't overexert yourself.
 
Raynine said:
This must be shared as a medical safety warning:

If you are old, stay that way. It could spare you a lot of issues!

I am nearly 80 and my wife is just a few years younger. Last night we decided to celebrate the Christmas season with a commemorative roll in the hay. I swallowed a blue pill, and she was as beautiful ever judging by the substantial standing at attention that occurred. Things started out quite well, and the idea of recapturing youth seemed like a magical gift brought to us by modern pharmacology. Then my gym workout intervened when I tried to adjust my position. I got a severe cramp in the back of my left leg and recoiled like a fish on a hook! My wife said I looked like a human in the late stages of acute electrocution!

It went downhill from there. I rolled on the wife’s ankle, and she arched her back to escape! She was near the edge of the bed and hit the floor like an anvil dropped from the ceiling! My leg took some time to recover, and I could hear her babbling incoherently like a quarterback that just had his bell rung! I used my arms to pull myself to the side of the bed the wife had just vacated and tried to comfort her as I was still incapacitated from the cramp!

Today my wife is still walking with a limp, and we must decide what to tell her personal physician if things do not improve by next week. If my wife tells the doctor that the injury is the result of rough sex, we fear she may be diagnosed with dementia!

You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
Click to expand...
Dood?

What have I always said about the floor?


You can't fall off it.

Sheesh.
 
Roshambo said:
Imagine this. Have your wife lay on the edge of the bed, put a pillow under her hips, prop that snapper up high and go to pound town on it. Imagine her legs almost vertical, you can use them for support. Mumble sweet nothings if you must. Be your best.
Click to expand...
Poor excuse for the Kama Sutra
 
initforme said:
Why would you even want sex at 50, much less 80? I commend you for trying i guess but the urge goes away bigly after having kids. Not necessary anymore.
Click to expand...
Methusaleh contributes his dementia without us even asking!

Apparently, he is dead from the neck up and the waist down!
 
Raynine said:
This must be shared as a medical safety warning:

If you are old, stay that way. It could spare you a lot of issues!

I am nearly 80 and my wife is just a few years younger. Last night we decided to celebrate the Christmas season with a commemorative roll in the hay. I swallowed a blue pill, and she was as beautiful ever judging by the substantial standing at attention that occurred. Things started out quite well, and the idea of recapturing youth seemed like a magical gift brought to us by modern pharmacology. Then my gym workout intervened when I tried to adjust my position. I got a severe cramp in the back of my left leg and recoiled like a fish on a hook! My wife said I looked like a human in the late stages of acute electrocution!

It went downhill from there. I rolled on the wife’s ankle, and she arched her back to escape! She was near the edge of the bed and hit the floor like an anvil dropped from the ceiling! My leg took some time to recover, and I could hear her babbling incoherently like a quarterback that just had his bell rung! I used my arms to pull myself to the side of the bed the wife had just vacated and tried to comfort her as I was still incapacitated from the cramp!

Today my wife is still walking with a limp, and we must decide what to tell her personal physician if things do not improve by next week. If my wife tells the doctor that the injury is the result of rough sex, we fear she may be diagnosed with dementia!

You simply cannot win these days with old age. Is anyone interested in a bottle of blue pills?
Click to expand...
I think that there are people who are a type of physical therapist that will literally assist people with disabilities to have sex. Not have sex with them, but assist them with a willing partner. Surely, they would have the same for older folk. Of course, I could have googled it before typing all that, but better late than never . . .

Turns out google thinks there are no such people.

1766711272035.webp


But, surely if you could have a therapist assign a "surrogate," a woman to have sex with you if you tell the therapist that you are too nervous to try having sex with an amateur without experience, one could assign the same surrogate to help an older couple. Or a really fat couple, or I don't know, maybe a guy who wants to be a good ally to the LBGT movement so he wants to have sex with a trannie to prove he believes they are women.
 
15th post
Seymour Flops said:
I think that there are people who are a type of physical therapist that will literally assist people with disabilities to have sex. Not have sex with them, but assist them with a willing partner. Surely, they would have the same for older folk. Of course, I could have googled it before typing all that, but better late than never . . .

Turns out google thinks there are no such people.

View attachment 1197915

But, surely if you could have a therapist assign a "surrogate," a woman to have sex with you if you tell the therapist that you are too nervous to try having sex with an amateur without experience, one could assign the same surrogate to help an older couple. Or a really fat couple, or I don't know, maybe a guy who wants to be a good ally to the LBGT movement so he wants to have sex with a trannie to prove he believes they are women.
Click to expand...
That gives a whole new meaning to menage a trois.
 
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