A favorite old joke

[Concerned American]

A friend of mine and his wife wanted to have a child. When things were not working out there doctor gave them a device that he said when her body temperature was right for conception a buzzer will go off. But no physical contact until that buzzer goes off. Well days went by and no buzzer and things were getting sort of tense between them. Well, there she was one morning holding a jug of milk .bacon and a dozen eggs, and the buzzer went off. Her husband and her threw down the milk it busted on the floor and the bacon and eggs went as well busted eggs ,bacon in all that milk. They tore off each other clothes and had made love right there in all that mess on the floor. She sure she's pregnant , but that grocery store manager said to put there clothes back on, clean up the mess and buy there groceries some where else from now on.

What did Pat and Mike say when the sow rubbing her thing on the fence post? Pat said I wish that was Gina Lollobrigida and Mike said I wish it was dark. Old farmer joke.

Old farmer was teaching his grandson how to plow the back forty when he instructed the boy to steer the tractor around an area in the field. Why's that, Gramps, the kid inquires. Gramps says thats where I got my first piece of tail. They continue on and Gramps instructs the boy to avoid another area to which the grandson replies, Is that where you got your second piece. Gramps says, Naw, thats where her mother stood. Incredulous, the boy says, "Gramps, what did she say?" Gramps responds, "Mooooo"