skews13
Diamond Member
- Mar 18, 2017
- 10,314
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Yeah, so, just had to put this one out there. In America’s most gun-crazy state with guns and palm trees, two dads and their minor daughters were out for an afternoon drive near Jacksonville. At some point one dad did something with his car the other dad in his car didn’t like. What ensued was an extended road rage car battle in which both tried to speed past, cut off, and brake check the other, trying to cause an accident they could each blame in the other one. Birds were flipped, plastic water bottles were thrown. Shots were fired.
The Florida board of tourism would like to remind you how pleasant Florida weather is at this time of year and recommend booking your mid-winter Florida getaway now!
Where was I? Oh right. So, Gunfire was exchanged by the two dads, because, well, everyone has a gun to keep us totally safe, right? Guns do that, right? That’s the solution to all our problems. Guns.
Anyway. After dad one shot at dad two, five year-old daughter two ended up with a bullet hole in her leg. (How could THAT possibly happen? It’s inconceivable!)
Let us pause to consider the diameter of an average five year-old’s leg and femur (about as big around as a Sharpie pen). And the perversion to flesh and bone caused by a .45 caliber bullet which can shatter an adult’s femur, much less that of a child. Just so you get this, a .45 caliber bullet is about as big around as a child’s entire femur. It’s like stabbing an adult in the leg with a crowbar at 300 meters per second. A bullet of ANY size to the thigh of a five year old girl is a serious, life-threatening wound. Even if she lives, the chance of her losing the leg or damaging the bone’s ability to continue to properly grow is extreme. This child has been maimed for life. Her life will never be the same.
We now return you to our ongoing daddy vs. daddy gun battle.
In any case, dad one sped away, swiftly followed by dad two, firing out his window at the retreating back of dad one’s car — while his DAUGHTER SAT SCREAMING AND BLEEDING PROFUSELY IN THE BACK SEAT, clutching her mutilated 5 year-old leg in impotent agony. Priorities, people! Priorities.
Eventually, dad two managed to shoot 14 year-old daughter one in the back, collapsing her lung.
A collapsed lung in a 14 year-old is a serious, life threatening injury. Just in case you didn’t know that. It is. Trust me on this.
The two dads, concerned, responsible gun-owning parents to the bone, pulled over and immediately started rendering vital, life-saving first aid to the stricken minor children, apologizing from the bottoms of their hearts with tears streaming down… oh, who the fuck am I kidding?
No, the dads pulled over, got out of their cars and started screaming at each other on the side of the road.
Along comes a state trooper and, after intervening in the dispute, finally notices the two seriously bleeding, horribly mutilated minor children and calls for ambulances.
Dad one and dad two are arrested and carted off to the hoosegow on felony attempted murder charges, as their daughters are rushed to the hospital.
(I suppose we can thank God the two men, standing on the side of the highway waving guns in the air were white. Otherwise, this would be the story of how two black dads were summarily shot by a Florida state trooper who paid no price for doing so. But I digress. Guns keep us safe, keep telling yourself that.)
In closing, I just have to note the reporter commenting in the original story cited, did have the presence of mind to lovingly detail the EXACT make, model, and caliber of the guns the two dads used to attempt to murder each other while ending up nearly murdering each other’s daughter (Safely! Because guns keep us SAFE!). That was such an important, salient part of the story.
Florida, ammirite?
They also reported the daughters suffered non-life-threatening injuries. As an EMT and paramedic for more than a decade, I can tell you that description was utter bullshit. Those little girls could easily have died and they will carry emotional and physical scars for the rest of their lives.
Just as long as grown men get to wave their guns around and defend their God-given freedom to shoot the fuck out of people whenever they get slightly upset for really good reasons, like not liking other people’s driving. That’s totally what the founding fathers wanted when they wrote the second amendment. Totally. Guns!
m.dailykos.com
Not to worry. The governor will pardon these two patriots.
The Florida board of tourism would like to remind you how pleasant Florida weather is at this time of year and recommend booking your mid-winter Florida getaway now!
Where was I? Oh right. So, Gunfire was exchanged by the two dads, because, well, everyone has a gun to keep us totally safe, right? Guns do that, right? That’s the solution to all our problems. Guns.
Anyway. After dad one shot at dad two, five year-old daughter two ended up with a bullet hole in her leg. (How could THAT possibly happen? It’s inconceivable!)
Let us pause to consider the diameter of an average five year-old’s leg and femur (about as big around as a Sharpie pen). And the perversion to flesh and bone caused by a .45 caliber bullet which can shatter an adult’s femur, much less that of a child. Just so you get this, a .45 caliber bullet is about as big around as a child’s entire femur. It’s like stabbing an adult in the leg with a crowbar at 300 meters per second. A bullet of ANY size to the thigh of a five year old girl is a serious, life-threatening wound. Even if she lives, the chance of her losing the leg or damaging the bone’s ability to continue to properly grow is extreme. This child has been maimed for life. Her life will never be the same.
We now return you to our ongoing daddy vs. daddy gun battle.
In any case, dad one sped away, swiftly followed by dad two, firing out his window at the retreating back of dad one’s car — while his DAUGHTER SAT SCREAMING AND BLEEDING PROFUSELY IN THE BACK SEAT, clutching her mutilated 5 year-old leg in impotent agony. Priorities, people! Priorities.
Eventually, dad two managed to shoot 14 year-old daughter one in the back, collapsing her lung.
A collapsed lung in a 14 year-old is a serious, life threatening injury. Just in case you didn’t know that. It is. Trust me on this.
The two dads, concerned, responsible gun-owning parents to the bone, pulled over and immediately started rendering vital, life-saving first aid to the stricken minor children, apologizing from the bottoms of their hearts with tears streaming down… oh, who the fuck am I kidding?
No, the dads pulled over, got out of their cars and started screaming at each other on the side of the road.
Along comes a state trooper and, after intervening in the dispute, finally notices the two seriously bleeding, horribly mutilated minor children and calls for ambulances.
Dad one and dad two are arrested and carted off to the hoosegow on felony attempted murder charges, as their daughters are rushed to the hospital.
(I suppose we can thank God the two men, standing on the side of the highway waving guns in the air were white. Otherwise, this would be the story of how two black dads were summarily shot by a Florida state trooper who paid no price for doing so. But I digress. Guns keep us safe, keep telling yourself that.)
In closing, I just have to note the reporter commenting in the original story cited, did have the presence of mind to lovingly detail the EXACT make, model, and caliber of the guns the two dads used to attempt to murder each other while ending up nearly murdering each other’s daughter (Safely! Because guns keep us SAFE!). That was such an important, salient part of the story.
Florida, ammirite?
They also reported the daughters suffered non-life-threatening injuries. As an EMT and paramedic for more than a decade, I can tell you that description was utter bullshit. Those little girls could easily have died and they will carry emotional and physical scars for the rest of their lives.
Just as long as grown men get to wave their guns around and defend their God-given freedom to shoot the fuck out of people whenever they get slightly upset for really good reasons, like not liking other people’s driving. That’s totally what the founding fathers wanted when they wrote the second amendment. Totally. Guns!
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Not to worry. The governor will pardon these two patriots.
