12 Things That Are Illegal During Pride Month

Votto

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Oct 31, 2012
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12 Things That Are Illegal During Pride Month
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 2, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
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Pride Month has transformed over the years into so much more than rainbows and weirdos in parades. Unbeknownst to many, there are now special laws to ensure every American citizen respects this holiest of state-enforced holidays!

Here are twelve things that are now crimes in America during Pride Month:

  1. Buckling seatbelts: Absolutely no "male-to-female" connections.
  2. Leaving an empty urinal between two men: Straight to jail.
  3. Going to church: Unless it's United Methodist.
  4. Driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you put tire tracks on the sacred symbol!
  5. Not driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you not let your tires kiss the sacred symbol!
  6. Changing the channel when a WNBA game comes on: DON'T LOOK AWAY.
  7. Driving any car except for a Subaru: While wearing Birkenstocks, of course.
  8. Having straight sex: Obviously.
  9. Having straight thoughts: Obviously.
  10. Men wearing shorts that go below the knee: Sky's out, thighs out.
  11. Watching a movie that doesn't start with the word "Brokeback": The volleyball scene from Top Gun is also acceptable.
  12. Purchasing "The Babylon Bee Guide To Gender": Whatever you do, don't order it from the Bee website for $22.99 plus shipping!
Stay safe out there, fam!
 
12 Things That Are Illegal During Pride Month
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 2, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads

View attachment 957900

Pride Month has transformed over the years into so much more than rainbows and weirdos in parades. Unbeknownst to many, there are now special laws to ensure every American citizen respects this holiest of state-enforced holidays!

Here are twelve things that are now crimes in America during Pride Month:

  1. Buckling seatbelts: Absolutely no "male-to-female" connections.
  2. Leaving an empty urinal between two men: Straight to jail.
  3. Going to church: Unless it's United Methodist.
  4. Driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you put tire tracks on the sacred symbol!
  5. Not driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you not let your tires kiss the sacred symbol!
  6. Changing the channel when a WNBA game comes on: DON'T LOOK AWAY.
  7. Driving any car except for a Subaru: While wearing Birkenstocks, of course.
  8. Having straight sex: Obviously.
  9. Having straight thoughts: Obviously.
  10. Men wearing shorts that go below the knee: Sky's out, thighs out.
  11. Watching a movie that doesn't start with the word "Brokeback": The volleyball scene from Top Gun is also acceptable.
  12. Purchasing "The Babylon Bee Guide To Gender": Whatever you do, don't order it from the Bee website for $22.99 plus shipping!
Stay safe out there, fam!
^ :cuckoo:
 
How many gay folks are actually proud of being homosexual?
 
I have never downloaded your porn collection.

I kinda like people of the (actual) female persuasion.
Sure you do.



 
Sure you do.



Said ^ zinc as if it was in any way responsive to what I had posted. 馃檮
 
12 Things That Are Illegal During Pride Month
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 2, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads

View attachment 957900

Pride Month has transformed over the years into so much more than rainbows and weirdos in parades. Unbeknownst to many, there are now special laws to ensure every American citizen respects this holiest of state-enforced holidays!

Here are twelve things that are now crimes in America during Pride Month:

  1. Buckling seatbelts: Absolutely no "male-to-female" connections.
  2. Leaving an empty urinal between two men: Straight to jail.
  3. Going to church: Unless it's United Methodist.
  4. Driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you put tire tracks on the sacred symbol!
  5. Not driving on the Pride Crosswalk: How dare you not let your tires kiss the sacred symbol!
  6. Changing the channel when a WNBA game comes on: DON'T LOOK AWAY.
  7. Driving any car except for a Subaru: While wearing Birkenstocks, of course.
  8. Having straight sex: Obviously.
  9. Having straight thoughts: Obviously.
  10. Men wearing shorts that go below the knee: Sky's out, thighs out.
  11. Watching a movie that doesn't start with the word "Brokeback": The volleyball scene from Top Gun is also acceptable.
  12. Purchasing "The Babylon Bee Guide To Gender": Whatever you do, don't order it from the Bee website for $22.99 plus shipping!
Stay safe out there, fam!
Does someone think this is clever?

You should ask a gay person to help you write comedy. They can be very funny people.
 

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