Your Middle School Years

[Luissa]

I think I dated a guy for four hours in junior high.
The last boyfriend I had was actually a guy I "dated" for a day twice in junior high. We were assholes to each other then and we were assholes to each other now.

 

[Zoom-boing]

I went to parochial school grades 1-8 for grammar and 9-12 for high school, and high school was all male so the dances werent a priority.

Ditto, except that high school was all female.

My youngest is in 7th grade, public school, and this is the year where they start having dances one a month or so. They had the first one last night. Did she go? Why no, she's grounded from dances and computer till she gets her shit together and brings her grades up in the four classes she's doing lousy in. Oh, she's smart and all and does well on the tests . . . . she's just 'forgetting' to turn in homework and classwork. Had the exact same problem with her older sister. Freaking genetics.

This was longer than I'd intended, it's the 'teacher in me.'

Genetics or temperament certainly plays a part. For some kids, whether because of 'perfection' drive or 'inattention' issues, changing classes and short passing times can be overwhelming. There are some things teacher, parents, and students can do to help those.

Make sure she has a Trapper or some sort of accordion type file, clearly labeled by classes and by a color label or sticker, (all math related items blue; all science items, orange; etc). Have all notebooks, book covers, and folder in the same color by subject. When she goes to locker or desk at passing times, she'll be able to grab the right items quickly. If locker/desk are a mess, call the teacher or if possible go to school extra early and help here get organized. Morning materials in one part/afternoon in another. Tape her schedule to the front of daily planner-especially important if each day's schedule is different. In the morning she can flip to schedule to see what she needs for her morning classes. (Hint: highlight each subject by 'subject color' on her schedule, she won't have to 'read' if she's late, just grab the right colors!)

While you can't follow her to classes, you can check it after homework time, (if homework is posted online, it still should be in written planner. Internet does go down and teachers do sometimes forget!) All math papers in math slot of accordion; social studies in SS slot; etc. When homework is done and daily planner checked, everything goes into back pack. Every folder, every text book. Check the books-make sure there aren't folded papers in any! For kids that do their homework but can't find it when it's time, the paper is either on their desk at home or in a book of another subject-they find it 3 days later, too late.

Make sure one of the accordion files is marked: "things to hand in at homeroom" or whatever works: Permission slips, fines, notes from home, lunch money etc." Kids freak when they realize they 'forgot' their fines, again! Before bedtime she should put the backpack in the way of whatever door she leave the house-she'll have to trip over it to forget it!

It's a smart idea for kids to pick out and lay out their clothes the night before, by early teens they really are not functioning well at 7 am or earlier. To be able to find what they want to wear, down to their shoes, speeds things up and helps them get organized about eating breakfast and being on time.

One last thing, if the school has online grading and homework, check it daily until those grades are up. I put all my homework online, including things parents might not know about, like my quia pages; a site I pay for and am able to post quizzes for each subject to help them review materials and prepare for exams, (if you want to see my actual pages or my homework site, email me, there's identifying information and I don't want it 'out there.') Many kids don't consider those types of things 'homework' and aren't utilizing a very easy way to prepare-not too mention the teacher can 'see' effort!:

Thanks for all that Annie. Yup all those things are done but none of it does any good if she doesn't literally hand the work in or doesn't bring the work home to do. She digs in her heels but good. The taking away of the dance and the computer are working though. I check her grades daily now online and when they come up she will get things back, although - and she doesn't know this yet - the computer will be off limits Mon-Thurs for her.

The one teacher likes to pair them into partners and lets the kids choose who they want to work with. Uh, not a good idea for my kid because all she does is chit chat. So I told the teacher to not partner her with one kid in particular and that if she is in a partner/group and not doing the work to pull her and have her work alone.

She is utterly distracted by 'socializing'. It's been this way for her always but this year . . . 7th grade, boys, boobs, makeup. The fun years! lol

Oh and the genetics things? I was just noting that as it was for the oldest, so it is for the youngest. Really, if she was going to pick up something from her big sister I was hoping it would have been something else, like not being a crab half the time.

I was disappointed that none of the teachers had contacted me though. A generic form letter came home from the guidance counselor with information that she was doing badly in some classes but not saying which classes and listing many of the same things you did in order to help her be more organized, etc. I had to look up each class then email each of the teachers asking what was going on. Yes you'd think the kid would just answer me . . . she is a stubborn little thing.

 

[Annie]

Ditto, except that high school was all female.

My youngest is in 7th grade, public school, and this is the year where they start having dances one a month or so. They had the first one last night. Did she go? Why no, she's grounded from dances and computer till she gets her shit together and brings her grades up in the four classes she's doing lousy in. Oh, she's smart and all and does well on the tests . . . . she's just 'forgetting' to turn in homework and classwork. Had the exact same problem with her older sister. Freaking genetics.

This was longer than I'd intended, it's the 'teacher in me.'

Genetics or temperament certainly plays a part. For some kids, whether because of 'perfection' drive or 'inattention' issues, changing classes and short passing times can be overwhelming. There are some things teacher, parents, and students can do to help those.

Make sure she has a Trapper or some sort of accordion type file, clearly labeled by classes and by a color label or sticker, (all math related items blue; all science items, orange; etc). Have all notebooks, book covers, and folder in the same color by subject. When she goes to locker or desk at passing times, she'll be able to grab the right items quickly. If locker/desk are a mess, call the teacher or if possible go to school extra early and help here get organized. Morning materials in one part/afternoon in another. Tape her schedule to the front of daily planner-especially important if each day's schedule is different. In the morning she can flip to schedule to see what she needs for her morning classes. (Hint: highlight each subject by 'subject color' on her schedule, she won't have to 'read' if she's late, just grab the right colors!)

While you can't follow her to classes, you can check it after homework time, (if homework is posted online, it still should be in written planner. Internet does go down and teachers do sometimes forget!) All math papers in math slot of accordion; social studies in SS slot; etc. When homework is done and daily planner checked, everything goes into back pack. Every folder, every text book. Check the books-make sure there aren't folded papers in any! For kids that do their homework but can't find it when it's time, the paper is either on their desk at home or in a book of another subject-they find it 3 days later, too late.

Make sure one of the accordion files is marked: "things to hand in at homeroom" or whatever works: Permission slips, fines, notes from home, lunch money etc." Kids freak when they realize they 'forgot' their fines, again! Before bedtime she should put the backpack in the way of whatever door she leave the house-she'll have to trip over it to forget it!

It's a smart idea for kids to pick out and lay out their clothes the night before, by early teens they really are not functioning well at 7 am or earlier. To be able to find what they want to wear, down to their shoes, speeds things up and helps them get organized about eating breakfast and being on time.

One last thing, if the school has online grading and homework, check it daily until those grades are up. I put all my homework online, including things parents might not know about, like my quia pages; a site I pay for and am able to post quizzes for each subject to help them review materials and prepare for exams, (if you want to see my actual pages or my homework site, email me, there's identifying information and I don't want it 'out there.') Many kids don't consider those types of things 'homework' and aren't utilizing a very easy way to prepare-not too mention the teacher can 'see' effort!:

Thanks for all that Annie. Yup all those things are done but none of it does any good if she doesn't literally hand the work in or doesn't bring the work home to do. She digs in her heels but good. The taking away of the dance and the computer are working though. I check her grades daily now online and when they come up she will get things back, although - and she doesn't know this yet - the computer will be off limits Mon-Thurs for her.

The one teacher likes to pair them into partners and lets the kids choose who they want to work with. Uh, not a good idea for my kid because all she does is chit chat. So I told the teacher to not partner her with one kid in particular and that if she is in a partner/group and not doing the work to pull her and have her work alone.

She is utterly distracted by 'socializing'. It's been this way for her always but this year . . . 7th grade, boys, boobs, makeup. The fun years! lol

Oh and the genetics things? I was just noting that as it was for the oldest, so it is for the youngest. Really, if she was going to pick up something from her big sister I was hoping it would have been something else, like not being a crab half the time.

I was disappointed that none of the teachers had contacted me though. A generic form letter came home from the guidance counselor with information that she was doing badly in some classes but not saying which classes and listing many of the same things you did in order to help her be more organized, etc. I had to look up each class then email each of the teachers asking what was going on. Yes you'd think the kid would just answer me . . . she is a stubborn little thing.

Well that's a fine kettle of fish! Well they are what they are. I only know that I would have let you known after the 3rd or 4th week, unless there were more than 3 missing assignments, then sooner. Yep, punitive punishment is correct in that sort of case, sounds like she can handle the environment, is just putting social stuff first. If there is a teacher she likes, I'm assuming a public school and she has 7-9 teachers, see if you can't set up a parent meeting, followed by bringing the daughter in towards the end.

In public middle schools there's usually a 'team approach', but face it, that's pretty intimidating for parent and student. Try to connect with one, of your daughter's 'choice.' Perhaps this teacher and you can agree that for the rest of quarter/trimester/semester that daily this teacher will check planner and make sure all is written down. Daughter will check to make sure all supplies/texts/etc. are there. She'll be responsible to see you or other parent to show all work-look at it. If there's something she says 'she didn't learn', write a note to teacher or email/call. There are teachers, too many, who don't teach, but send home lessons they couldn't 'get to.' That's NOT homework. On the other hand, if everyone else did ok, sweet daughter wasn't paying attention. You got to know which is which.

The good thing as I said about this age, they are flexible. If they know that they will be under less scrutiny when they stop screwing up; if they know privileges will be restored; they can man up quite quickly, as long as there aren't underlying learning problems.

I wish you luck! Daughter too! Teachers too, they are about to hit another wall.

 

[Paulie]

my worst memory from junior high would have to be my brother getting shot labor day weekend of my eight grade year, his senior year and then having everyone in school repeating gossip about the incident.
Other then that it was probably when my boyfriend of three months, which is like a year in junior high time broke up with me because I was hanging out with my guy friends.
I was so heart broken.

What the hell do you think you're doing having the audacity to have guy friends while in a relationship?

Where did you find the time for a social life outside of the kitchen and laundry room anyway?

 

[Elutherian]

I got into my first fight in Middle-School. Scott Convery, who was and still is an asshole, kept calling me a queer. So I decided to shove his ass to the ground. Of course he got back up and starting punching me in the face, and I hit back... it went on like that for a few minutes until a teacher (Mrs. Green) finally stopped us. We both got a week's suspension. Of course my Dad kicked my ass harder than Scott ever managed to.

We were good friends through all of high school though.

The rest of Middle-School is kind of a blur. Though I do remember once, during Lunch, I decided to go upstairs to join my friends... we weren't supposed to be doing this obviously... but on my way up the stairs I ran into Mr. Jackson (a big bald muscular man who scared the shit out of everybody). He just stared at me for a few seconds, and I just stared back. Finally I got my wits about me and ran in the other direction. I don't think he knew who I was or I would have been in a shit load of trouble.

Other than that I remember getting made fun of a lot... I was one of the kids who got bullied all the time. I also remember in Gym, I hid in the bathroom to change cause I was afraid to do it in front of everybody else. I grew out of that in High School when I realized I was "better off" than most of the boys there anyways.

 

[RadiomanATL]

So no one is with me on the boobs thing?

 

[Elutherian]

So no one is with me on the boobs thing?

Yeah, that was another thing about Middle-School. All the girls that wouldn't go out with me..... now that's a long ass list right there.

 

[RodISHI]

So no one is with me on the boobs thing?

My bod started maturing long before middle school plus we live in a newly developing area where there were just a few houses. All the neighbors were boys. I was the youngest in the neighborhood and the only girl. The boys beat me up several times until I learned how defend myself. One came to me years later an asked if I would forgive him for being so awful to me. He said I loved you because you were so cute... So no the boob thing did nothing for me.

 

[goldcatt]

my worst memory from junior high would have to be my brother getting shot labor day weekend of my eight grade year, his senior year and then having everyone in school repeating gossip about the incident.
Other then that it was probably when my boyfriend of three months, which is like a year in junior high time broke up with me because I was hanging out with my guy friends.
I was so heart broken.

What the hell do you think you're doing having the audacity to have guy friends while in a relationship?

Where did you find the time for a social life outside of the kitchen and laundry room anyway?

 

[Article 15]

I was short and skinny for my age, had big ears, big teeth, braces, got straight A's, and didn't hit puberty until I was a freshman in high school.

Needless to say middle school was rough at times.

 

[RadiomanATL]

I was short and skinny for my age, had big ears, big teeth, braces, got straight A's, and didn't hit puberty until I was a freshman in high school.

Needless to say middle school was rough at times.

So last week, huh?


(JOKING!)

 

[Luissa]

my worst memory from junior high would have to be my brother getting shot labor day weekend of my eight grade year, his senior year and then having everyone in school repeating gossip about the incident.
Other then that it was probably when my boyfriend of three months, which is like a year in junior high time broke up with me because I was hanging out with my guy friends.
I was so heart broken.

What the hell do you think you're doing having the audacity to have guy friends while in a relationship?

Where did you find the time for a social life outside of the kitchen and laundry room anyway?

 

[Article 15]

I was short and skinny for my age, had big ears, big teeth, braces, got straight A's, and didn't hit puberty until I was a freshman in high school.

Needless to say middle school was rough at times.

So last week, huh?


(JOKING!)

Last month! School started a month ago.

Sheesh!

 

[Luissa]

I hit puberty early so all the boys were assholes to me in junior high.

I did find out a few years ago a couple guys thought this other girl and I had the best boobs in school. And to think I was so self concisious then

 

[Article 15]

I hit puberty early so all the boys were assholes to me in junior high.

I did find out a few years ago a couple guys thought this other girl and I had the best boobs in school. And to think I was so self concisious then

Ah-Tahs!!!

 

[Elutherian]

I hit puberty early so all the boys were assholes to me in junior high.

I did find out a few years ago a couple guys thought this other girl and I had the best boobs in school. And to think I was so self concisious then

Ah-Tahs!!!

 

[RodISHI]

Actually Middle school years were miserable even in the school. My mom had a wicked temper she threaten the school over my older brother being sent home with homework...She told them don't ever send my children home with homework if they can't get the work done you have for them here at school your not doing your job. She told them we had work at home and the school was not going to take away the time she laid out for chores.

By the time I got into middle school I was already hated there because my brother was not an ideal student (having nothing to do with his IQ more like he started drinking heavily and hanging with glue sniffers and potheads) and the school did not want my mom there again.

First semester of the first year there I was a straight A student as I had been throughout school. Second semester that year there I started realizing more the politics and bullshit that comes with any given situation where you have people. That kinda topped it all off with what I went through at home every day school no longer held any viable interest to me. The next thing that happened I snapped, left home and school was pretty much over at that point.

It was a time when drugs were just beginning to come into full swing. At dances boys put drugs into some of the girls punch so if you did happen to go to a dance you needed to take soda pop with you. A couple girls went nuts after getting their punch doused with acid so I avoided school dances. Sixty miles away was the Watts riots had not been fully resolved blacks still had many issues they were fighting. My best friend was black. Some of the blacks there at school hated whites and would start fights or pick on white kids at lunch hour by walking through in a gang and kicking over lunches of people setting down to eat pinic style on the lawns. I recall standing up and telling these guys don't touch my lunch. These guys just laughed and told all the guys around where I was sitting what pussies they were when a little girl would stand up to them but they wouldn't. It did not make sense to me that 25 black students out of several hundred would be allowed to be such bullies. I do understand now the reason they had so much hate in them. The blacks lived in a very poor area to the north of town and the whites mostly in that school came from the country club closer to the foothills.

 

[Luissa]

I hit puberty early so all the boys were assholes to me in junior high.

I did find out a few years ago a couple guys thought this other girl and I had the best boobs in school. And to think I was so self concisious then

Ah-Tahs!!!

 

[Paulie]

I hit puberty early so all the boys were assholes to me in junior high.

I did find out a few years ago a couple guys thought this other girl and I had the best boobs in school. And to think I was so self concisious then

I saw your pic somewhere on here a while ago, you're cute!

Why self conscious? You couldn't press a pair of slacks and time a pie right?

 

[Luissa]

I can press slacks but I can't bake a pie to save my life.

And I would rep you for saying I am cute but I have ran out of rep for the day, I will get you later.