- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This eco-yarn was inspired by Gremlins and references Yale's botany department.
Signing off,
====
"A prominent Yale botanist named Dr. Pamela Isely was working on a serum derived from an exotic herb/plant from Africa realized that the serum she was developing had a very odd side-effect. She serum (which Isely named 'poison-ivy') could slow down the rise in body temperature brought on by pneumonia-related fevers. However, the serum also made the human brain very sensitive and induced delusions. Isely didn't know what to make of this strange side-effect, so she told the Yale board and her fellow scientists who suggested she simply continue working on the valuable serum."
"Isely grew up in Virginia and developed a unique fascination/love for flora/plants and herbs. She was a fan of the culinary arts as a college student and experimented with various recipes involving organic ingredients. After graduating from Harvard with a B.A. in biological sciences, Isely decided to study African flora after industrialization. Her study won her special commendations and landed her a prestigious position at Yale's botany division/department where she soon became the supervisor of the herbarium. It was at the herbarium where Isely discovered her special 'poison-ivy' serum."
"Isely was dating Gotham City billionaire businessman and socialite Bruce Wayne (inheritor and CEO of Wayne Industries!) who attended a special congratulatory dinner held in Dr. Isely's honor after her discovery of the special fever-reducing serum. At the dinner, Isely was accosted by a strange attendee/guest named Thomas Hewitt who insisted that standard botany would never bring about true organic optimism in industrialization-obsessed American culture. Isely was shocked by Hewitt's rage, and Wayne comforted her and stood by her and nudged and shoved Hewitt away, so the guests could continue to enjoy the honorary dinner for Isely."
"America offers the world's finest colleges and universities, and Yale University is right at the top-bracket of that awesome list of American schools. Isely's work at Yale's botany division/department was certainly worthy of multiple kinds of recognition, though Pamela felt haunted and scarred by what the fanatical Thomas Hewitt (that strange guest at her honorary-dinner) said to her. Bruce Wayne continued to comfort Pamela but it was to no avail. Pamela simply snapped. She donned a special vigilante-costume and began calling herself 'Poison Ivy' (America's 'finest' eco-terrorist')."
"As an eco-terrorist 'Poison Ivy' (Pamela) brought real anarchy to Gotham City. She planted hallucination-inducing toxins at the Gotham Zoo, burned down the artificial tree planted in front of the Gotham mayor's mansion, and kidnapped a rare dolphin being held at the Gotham aquarium and set it free in the Atlantic Ocean. Poison Ivy did not know that Wayne Industries CEO Bruce Wayne (Pamela's ex-boyfriend) was actually Gotham's mysterious and heroic masked-vigilante named Batman! Batman was now chasing Poison Ivy and hoping that Pamela would reconcile with him someday as his girlfriend (and hopefully his future wife)."
"After some diabolical 'mad science' activity, Pamela (Poison Ivy) invented a new strain of spore-generating poisonous stalk-plants which she called her 'dandies.' Poison Ivy intended to plant her 'dandies' in the Gotham City Police Department lavatory/bathrooms and when cops entered the bathroom, the dandies would spew a deadly gas which would drive them temporarily insane, compelling them to run mad into the streets and forcing Gothamites to wonder what the hell was going on(!). Poison Ivy called this her special 'cop-toilet prank.' Batman wittily commented that Poison Ivy deserved the first-ever 'anti-Nobel Prize.' Poison Ivy was now America's most unusual eco-terrorist."
"America is the leader in industry and fashion, but negligence of eco-oriented matters and proper respect/funding for appropriate eco-minded groups such as the EPA turned commerce into waste and industrialization into pollution. Mishandled toxic-waste, greenhouse emissions, and acid rain made Earth a proverbial 'trash can' and Poison Ivy knew that America was a den of vice more than virtue and that Gothamites were simply oblivious to the problem of global warming. Poison Ivy vowed to create a national crusade against industrialization itself and only Batman knew how to stop her. Would America become a dark city in the end?"
GOD: Poison Ivy is dangerous...
SATAN: She's a very cunning eco-terrorist!
GOD: Terrorism is never the cure to social ills.
SATAN: Sometimes, governance is too frustrating.
GOD: That's why patriotism is a virtue.
SATAN: Yale's botany department benefitted from Dr. Isely's work.
GOD: Well, now Yale's trying to forget its ties to Pamela...
SATAN: I think Thomas Hewitt really set her off at that dinner.
GOD: Bruce Wayne was at that dinner, and he tried to comfort her.
SATAN: Justice is a game it seems...
GOD: What happened to Thomas Hewitt?
SATAN: He became a radical journalist in Europe.
GOD: I suppose Pamela is still haunted by his words...
SATAN: Let's see what Poison Ivy does to Gotham.
GOD: I hope Batman (Bruce Wayne) is able to romance Poison Ivy (Pamela).
SATAN: That would be a lovely tale, no? "Poison Ivy weds Batman and declares peace."
GOD: Sometimes stories don't have happy endings...
SATAN: No! And eco-pollution/global-warming is certainly an unhappy ending.
GOD: How will Yale's botany department recover from the 'Poison Ivy' scandal?
SATAN: Perhaps their PR-executives will spin an 'ethics tale' (for the press)!
GOD: Will America be a den of thieves?
SATAN: America has the potential to be a real 'liberal church.'
====
Signing off,
====
"A prominent Yale botanist named Dr. Pamela Isely was working on a serum derived from an exotic herb/plant from Africa realized that the serum she was developing had a very odd side-effect. She serum (which Isely named 'poison-ivy') could slow down the rise in body temperature brought on by pneumonia-related fevers. However, the serum also made the human brain very sensitive and induced delusions. Isely didn't know what to make of this strange side-effect, so she told the Yale board and her fellow scientists who suggested she simply continue working on the valuable serum."
"Isely grew up in Virginia and developed a unique fascination/love for flora/plants and herbs. She was a fan of the culinary arts as a college student and experimented with various recipes involving organic ingredients. After graduating from Harvard with a B.A. in biological sciences, Isely decided to study African flora after industrialization. Her study won her special commendations and landed her a prestigious position at Yale's botany division/department where she soon became the supervisor of the herbarium. It was at the herbarium where Isely discovered her special 'poison-ivy' serum."
"Isely was dating Gotham City billionaire businessman and socialite Bruce Wayne (inheritor and CEO of Wayne Industries!) who attended a special congratulatory dinner held in Dr. Isely's honor after her discovery of the special fever-reducing serum. At the dinner, Isely was accosted by a strange attendee/guest named Thomas Hewitt who insisted that standard botany would never bring about true organic optimism in industrialization-obsessed American culture. Isely was shocked by Hewitt's rage, and Wayne comforted her and stood by her and nudged and shoved Hewitt away, so the guests could continue to enjoy the honorary dinner for Isely."
"America offers the world's finest colleges and universities, and Yale University is right at the top-bracket of that awesome list of American schools. Isely's work at Yale's botany division/department was certainly worthy of multiple kinds of recognition, though Pamela felt haunted and scarred by what the fanatical Thomas Hewitt (that strange guest at her honorary-dinner) said to her. Bruce Wayne continued to comfort Pamela but it was to no avail. Pamela simply snapped. She donned a special vigilante-costume and began calling herself 'Poison Ivy' (America's 'finest' eco-terrorist')."
"As an eco-terrorist 'Poison Ivy' (Pamela) brought real anarchy to Gotham City. She planted hallucination-inducing toxins at the Gotham Zoo, burned down the artificial tree planted in front of the Gotham mayor's mansion, and kidnapped a rare dolphin being held at the Gotham aquarium and set it free in the Atlantic Ocean. Poison Ivy did not know that Wayne Industries CEO Bruce Wayne (Pamela's ex-boyfriend) was actually Gotham's mysterious and heroic masked-vigilante named Batman! Batman was now chasing Poison Ivy and hoping that Pamela would reconcile with him someday as his girlfriend (and hopefully his future wife)."
"After some diabolical 'mad science' activity, Pamela (Poison Ivy) invented a new strain of spore-generating poisonous stalk-plants which she called her 'dandies.' Poison Ivy intended to plant her 'dandies' in the Gotham City Police Department lavatory/bathrooms and when cops entered the bathroom, the dandies would spew a deadly gas which would drive them temporarily insane, compelling them to run mad into the streets and forcing Gothamites to wonder what the hell was going on(!). Poison Ivy called this her special 'cop-toilet prank.' Batman wittily commented that Poison Ivy deserved the first-ever 'anti-Nobel Prize.' Poison Ivy was now America's most unusual eco-terrorist."
"America is the leader in industry and fashion, but negligence of eco-oriented matters and proper respect/funding for appropriate eco-minded groups such as the EPA turned commerce into waste and industrialization into pollution. Mishandled toxic-waste, greenhouse emissions, and acid rain made Earth a proverbial 'trash can' and Poison Ivy knew that America was a den of vice more than virtue and that Gothamites were simply oblivious to the problem of global warming. Poison Ivy vowed to create a national crusade against industrialization itself and only Batman knew how to stop her. Would America become a dark city in the end?"
GOD: Poison Ivy is dangerous...
SATAN: She's a very cunning eco-terrorist!
GOD: Terrorism is never the cure to social ills.
SATAN: Sometimes, governance is too frustrating.
GOD: That's why patriotism is a virtue.
SATAN: Yale's botany department benefitted from Dr. Isely's work.
GOD: Well, now Yale's trying to forget its ties to Pamela...
SATAN: I think Thomas Hewitt really set her off at that dinner.
GOD: Bruce Wayne was at that dinner, and he tried to comfort her.
SATAN: Justice is a game it seems...
GOD: What happened to Thomas Hewitt?
SATAN: He became a radical journalist in Europe.
GOD: I suppose Pamela is still haunted by his words...
SATAN: Let's see what Poison Ivy does to Gotham.
GOD: I hope Batman (Bruce Wayne) is able to romance Poison Ivy (Pamela).
SATAN: That would be a lovely tale, no? "Poison Ivy weds Batman and declares peace."
GOD: Sometimes stories don't have happy endings...
SATAN: No! And eco-pollution/global-warming is certainly an unhappy ending.
GOD: How will Yale's botany department recover from the 'Poison Ivy' scandal?
SATAN: Perhaps their PR-executives will spin an 'ethics tale' (for the press)!
GOD: Will America be a den of thieves?
SATAN: America has the potential to be a real 'liberal church.'
====
