~Women Are Evil~

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dabs, May 31, 2012.

  1. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

    She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

    "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

    Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

    "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

    "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

    "What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

    "Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.
     
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  2. High_Gravity
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    High_Gravity Belligerent Drunk Supporting Member

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    :eusa_eh:
     
  3. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    HG...get that look off your face ~LoL~
     
  4. High_Gravity
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    High_Gravity Belligerent Drunk Supporting Member

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    I've let women put their fingers in my mouth before, now I'm worried.
     
  5. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    LMFAO......thank you....thank you for the laughter I am enjoying *smiles*

    I can't Rep you yet again.....but I owe you :)
     
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  6. dcbl
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    dcbl Good guys wear white hats

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    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

    "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, Etc.

    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."
    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face? "

    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long I'll be right back. I promise.

    OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

    "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
    "You want dirty words, cutie pie?...

    "LISTEN UP SHIT HEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR DAMNED FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR
    MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!
    GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

    ...and, they lived happily ever after.
     
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  7. Ariux
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    Ariux BANNED

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    Alluringly and kinky!
     

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