Why It's Better To Be A Woman!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Phoenix, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. Phoenix
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    Phoenix fideli certa merces

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    1. We got off the Titanic first.

    2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

    3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

    4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

    5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

    6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

    7. Taxis stop for us.

    8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

    9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

    10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

    11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

    12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

    13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

    14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

    15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

    16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

    17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

    18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

    19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

    20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

    21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

    22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

    23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

    24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

    25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

    26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

    27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

    28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

    29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

    30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. ;)
     
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  2. Mr Clean
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    Mr Clean Gold Member

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    But you do have to wait on line to use a public restroom.
     
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  3. PLYMCO_PILGRIM
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    PLYMCO_PILGRIM Gold Member

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    2 good posts :)
     
  4. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    AS 5 it worked when I was younger but having a red car I still got many tickets, of course I got pulled over say 12 times but only recieved 6 tickets.
    13 would be shoes for me
    and 5 well you never played basketball with this girl named Kirsten, she obviously didn't get the memo we didn't have to slap butts.
    and 28 I agree 100%, I am not too superficial but if a guy is wearing sandals with black socks or some nasty ass pair of shoes, I will for sure turn my attention else where.
     
  5. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    and as for the farting thing, I have been amused by my farts before. Of course I was very stoned and was laughing so hard I farted in a large group which caused more laughing.
     
  6. Phoenix
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    Phoenix fideli certa merces

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    Ummmm ... thanks for sharing ... :doubt:
     
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  7. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    If women had a penis for a day

    Get ahead faster in corporate life.

    Get a blow job.

    Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

    Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

    Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

    Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

    Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

    Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

    Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

    Repeat the second one again.
     
  8. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    your welcome!
    Not that I fart in public or around other people on a regular basis I just hate it that some men think women should never fart. I lived with two guys and one of them would get wierded out when his girlfriend would fart or god forbid have to take a poop when she was staying over.
    Living with him just say was very uncomfortable at points.
     
  9. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    going to the bathroom in the woods is one time it sucks to be a women especially when you have had a few.
     
  10. Phoenix
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    Phoenix fideli certa merces

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    $Swaping_Parts.jpg :cool:
     

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