Why do people have kids they cannot care for or afford?

[blu]

people who have kids that they have no way to care for them should be sterilized and the kids given up for adoption. adoption houses should be revamped and funded more to get kids in them a better way of life.

after a generation or two of sterilizing the crackheds and junkies we will have solved alot of problems

 

[California Girl]

Why? Selfishness. Children are viewed as a 'right', but they are not a 'right', they are a privilege. People should have the children they can afford.

 

[syrenn]

Why? Selfishness. Children are viewed as a 'right', but they are not a 'right', they are a privilege. People should have the children they can afford.

I totally agree. If you cannot afford to feed and house them on your own...by yourself.... don't have them.

 

[Ravi]

Biology.

 

[High_Gravity]

The the best thing for them is that the mother gives them all the boot. Sorry..i know that sounds harsh.. but what they are doing is using the mother.

I know his mother and speak to her some times, she is scared to give him the boot because they will end up on the streets, my friend cannot get a job and has a DUI on his record which makes it harder and he just won't stop hitting the bong, she just wants to look out for her grand children.

I understand her concern and love for the grankids..... but the boy and his girlfriend are losers. Sorry. If he has the money for drugs... he has the money to find an apartment.

She may want to try and take custody of them....and then give the son and girlfriend the boot.

Thay may be an option, I am not sure how he buys his weed he either gets money from his girl, his mom or maybe his dad. Thats whats crazy both his mom and dad have good jobs even though they are divorced, but he ended up this way.

 

[High_Gravity]

Why? Selfishness. Children are viewed as a 'right', but they are not a 'right', they are a privilege. People should have the children they can afford.

I agree 100% CG, if you need welfare or assistance for kids, please don't have them. Wait until you can pay for everything they need.

 

[High_Gravity]

I am sorry.. your bother is a lost cause. I hope you father doesnt waste anymore money on him..but on his gran-kids.

I think it may be time for you to introduce yourself to them if you want to make any kind of difference in their lives... regardless if your brother or the mother like it or not. They need some kind of positive family role models. How old are they anyway? Start slow... send birthday and christmas gifts. If you have the funds... take them for the weekend. You fly there or fly them to you.

Thats going to be hard because me and their mother HATE each other, I used to see her when I lived in California and our last conversation was really nasty, she actually called me a ****** at 1 point. A few weeks later she started to see my loser brother. I think one of the kids is 3, the other is 1 and was born while he was locked up, my brother has not even seen these kids after he was released, now he is shacking up at my moms house in Virginia. The only reason I know about this is because my dad tells me. My dad basically supports the kids and her, he has spent a fortune on them in the last few years.

Hugs... i am happy to see that you see all of this with truthful eyes. I know its not easy.

Hopefully the mother gets over what ever it is...and lets you interact with them at some point. I would still try... especially when they start to get older and understand.

Its not easy but this is the way its been for the past 6-7 years really, he started using heroin in 2003 and ever since than the family has been fractured. We will see what happens in the future but this bozo really had no business having children, he is not paying for any of their needs, my dad is.

 

[High_Gravity]

Biology.

Hmm how so Ravi?

 

[syrenn]

I know his mother and speak to her some times, she is scared to give him the boot because they will end up on the streets, my friend cannot get a job and has a DUI on his record which makes it harder and he just won't stop hitting the bong, she just wants to look out for her grand children.

I understand her concern and love for the grankids..... but the boy and his girlfriend are losers. Sorry. If he has the money for drugs... he has the money to find an apartment.

She may want to try and take custody of them....and then give the son and girlfriend the boot.

Thay may be an option, I am not sure how he buys his weed he either gets money from his girl, his mom or maybe his dad. Thats whats crazy both his mom and dad have good jobs even though they are divorced, but he ended up this way.

It is very easy for kids of good parents to end up like this. Your friend is a lazy drug addict. The mother is his enabler.

 

[Ravi]

Biology.

Hmm how so Ravi?

We are programmed to reproduce. It's pretty simple, really.

 

[High_Gravity]

Biology.

Hmm how so Ravi?

We are programmed to reproduce. It's pretty simple, really.

Oh I see what you mean, I thought you meant its the biology of people that makes them drug addicts or convicts.

 

[syrenn]

Biology.

Hmm how so Ravi?

We are programmed to reproduce. It's pretty simple, really.

We have a great feral fix program here in the city. It seems to be working well on that programmed reproduction thing.

 

[High_Gravity]

I understand her concern and love for the grankids..... but the boy and his girlfriend are losers. Sorry. If he has the money for drugs... he has the money to find an apartment.

She may want to try and take custody of them....and then give the son and girlfriend the boot.

Thay may be an option, I am not sure how he buys his weed he either gets money from his girl, his mom or maybe his dad. Thats whats crazy both his mom and dad have good jobs even though they are divorced, but he ended up this way.

It is very easy for kids of good parents to end up like this. Your friend is a lazy drug addict. The mother is his enabler.

Yeah you pretty much nailed it, I don't see it changing to be honest he has never been independent at any point in his life.

 

[Trajan]

I have noticed that some of the people I know that have no business having kids or having anymore kids keep doing it, a friend of mine who lives in a house owned by his mother with his girlfriend has 2 kids with her. He has been unemployed for the past 3 years, his mother pays everything she is a nurse so she earns enough to support her grown son, she pays for food, their bills, his cell phone, even when the water heater broke she fixed it. Anyways I talked to my friend this past weekend and his girlfriend is now pregnant with their child, I didn't really know what to say because he has no business having more kids, especially since he has no job and spends alot of time smoking weed.

Another friend of mine is successful, he was in the Air Force with me and got out after 6 years and now has a job in Houston working for an electricity company and makes around $40-50 K a year, volunteers time to help with charities, goes to Church on Sundays, etc. but he is not interested in having kids right now, he likes being a free agent and doing what he wants. I should not he is 30 years old, but my friend with the 3 kids is 26. I notice a scary trend where the responsible people with a good head on their shoulders are not having kids as much, but the guy who lives with mom and hits the bong everyday has no problem having 4 or 5 kids, does anyone else notice this?

a good friend of mine runs an in house after hours trng prgm. for radiologists, he says for every 5 women he sees come thru, 4 are under 30, have kid(s) and no husband or man.
Oh most are closer to 20 he says ( and yes I asked him twice 4 of 5???, her says thats his take).

 

[High_Gravity]

I have noticed that some of the people I know that have no business having kids or having anymore kids keep doing it, a friend of mine who lives in a house owned by his mother with his girlfriend has 2 kids with her. He has been unemployed for the past 3 years, his mother pays everything she is a nurse so she earns enough to support her grown son, she pays for food, their bills, his cell phone, even when the water heater broke she fixed it. Anyways I talked to my friend this past weekend and his girlfriend is now pregnant with their child, I didn't really know what to say because he has no business having more kids, especially since he has no job and spends alot of time smoking weed.

Another friend of mine is successful, he was in the Air Force with me and got out after 6 years and now has a job in Houston working for an electricity company and makes around $40-50 K a year, volunteers time to help with charities, goes to Church on Sundays, etc. but he is not interested in having kids right now, he likes being a free agent and doing what he wants. I should not he is 30 years old, but my friend with the 3 kids is 26. I notice a scary trend where the responsible people with a good head on their shoulders are not having kids as much, but the guy who lives with mom and hits the bong everyday has no problem having 4 or 5 kids, does anyone else notice this?

a good friend of mine runs an in house after hours trng prgm. for radiologists, he says for every 5 women he sees come thru, 4 are under 30 have kid(s) and no husband or man. most are closer to 20 he says ( and yes I asked him twice 4 of 5???)

Exactly, this is a troubling trend I am noticing as well. These guys don't want to stick around to be bothered with raising these kids, I watched a program about prison inmates and one of the common denominators for most of them was no father in their lives.