Vegetable cruelty

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Merlin1047, Nov 24, 2004.

  1. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    I'm trying to decide if this site is a joke or not. Well, let me rephrase that. I'm trying to decide whether or not this site is an INTENTIONAL joke. It's pretty weird, but liberals are strange animals.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    http://www.users.one.se/~feltby/veg.htm

    This Directory contains information about the organization: Vegetable Liberation Front [VLF], what we stand for, the rules we live by and information about our latest actions towards the exploiters of vegetables. We will also add facts about the ongoing mass murdering of innocent vegetable and fruit. Vegetables got Feelings too!

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    C:\VLF>TYPE INTRO.TXT

    Did you know that more then 1,000,000,000 Vegetables and fruits are murdered each year just to fill the stomachs of juice-thirsty murderers?? Thats more then ONE BILLION innocent vegetables suffering on the fields of enormous "farms", as the vegie-exploiters call them.

    These "farms" are in fact huge prisons where the Vegetables & Fruits [V&F] are keept imprisoned and tortured. The vegetables are actually forced to grow and when they have reached their mature age, the prime of their life they are all brutally slaughtered and their bodies are packed in boxes and brought to gigantic Vegie-morgues where sometimes their corpses are chopped, boiled, frozen and in the end stuffed into some juice-thirsty oppressor mouth!

    We of V.L.F. will NOT tolerate that innocent vegetable are keept imprisoned and tortured just to feed juice-thirtsy vegetable murderers or to cover up their hairless bodies with poor vegetable remnants. We WILL take actions against ANYONE who exploit V&F's.

    The Vegetable Liberation Front consist of small autonomous groups of people all over the world who carry out direct action according to the V.L.F. guidelines

    These groups are called cells that range from one individual to many working closley together. Activists in one cell do not know V.L.F. activists in another cell because they remain anonymous. This is what helps to keep activists out of jail, and free to be active another day.

    Since there is not a central organization in V.L.F., people are driven by their own personal conscience. The V.L.F. is non-hierarchical in it's structure which allows for only those people involved directly in the action to control their own destiny.

    ANYONE in your community could be part of the V.L.F. without you knowing. This includes P.T.A parents, church volunteers, your spouse, your neighbour, or your mayor. No one is immune to the suffering of Vegetables, which includes even the workers themselves in any vegetable abuse industry who cannot bear to watch vegetables withering in pain any longer.

    Since there is no way for you to contact the V.L.F. in your area, it is up to each one of us to take the responsibility ourself to stop the exploitaition of our fellow vegetables. In words of a fellow activist: "when you see the pictures of a masked liberator, stop asking who's behind the mask and look in the mirror".

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    C:\VLF>TYPE GUIDELIN.TXT
    Guidelines for a true Carnevan [Supporter of V.L.F.]:
    Thou shall just eat Meat and Grain, [or products deriving from those] because neither meat or grain got feelings.
    Thou must work for equal rights for V&F's: Vegetables are little People!!
    Thou must inform the world that V&F's got feelings too and that they are our equals.
    Thou shall only wear clothes made of/from Animals [Wool, Fur, Silk, Leather, etc]
    Thou must at any given time try to liberate our imprisoned brothers and sisters from places of abuse, ie laboratories, farms, markets, stores etc. and place them in good homes where they may live out there natural lives, free from suffering. Freedom for ALL V&F's.
    To reveal the horrors and atrocities commited against V&F's behind locked doors, by performing non-violent direct actions and liberations.
    To take all necessary precaution against harming any V&F, human and non-human.
    Any group of people who are meat & grain eater and who carry out actions according to V.L.F. guidelines have the right to regard themselves as part of the V.L.F.

    The V.L.F. consist of small autonomous groups of people all over the world who carry out direct action according to the V.L.F. guidelines.

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************


    "The earth is not
    dying, it is being
    killed. And those
    that are killing it
    have names and
    addresses."

    -Utah Philips


    C:\VLF>TYPE CA_DONTS.TXT
    A list of DONT'S for a true Carnevan [Member of V.L.F.]:
    Thou shall not eat any Vegetables.
    Thou must not eat any Fruits.
    Thou would not dare Exploit any Vegetables in any way.
    Thou should not dare Exploit any Fruits in any way.
    Thou must not cover your body with remnants of innocent V&F's [ex. Cotton].
    Thou should not murder any V&F's or support other murderers of V&F's for any reason.
    Thou must never forget that V&F's got feelings too.
    Thou should never forget to work for equal rights for V&F's.
    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    C:\VLF>TYPE ACTIONS.TXT

    Some of the latest actions V.L.F. has taken to ban the exploit of V&F:



    Jan. 12, 1999, OPERATION LIBERATION!

    We went to the local grocery store where we bought all of our beloved little brothers and sisters, the tomatoes, how is it you can BUY a person.... that is a horrid thing indeed.
    Anyway, since we had bought our friends we immediately drove to the closest spot of their natural environment and once there: we released our imprisoned brothers and sisters. Five boxes of Tomatoes [that's more then 500 individuals] was, finally, freed.

    Unfortunately at our return a couple of days later we where met by a shocking sight: The ground was covered with the squished, molested & mutilated corpses of all but one, of our little siblings. Only one of all those little fellows had managed to escape to freedom [less then one percent]. But atleast one of the Tomatoes survived and will no longer suffer under any exploiter of vegetables.

    Of course we reported this hideous crime to the Police, they actually laughed straight in our face. They ignored this mass murder!! It is obvious that even the local law enforcement is under the exploiters control!!!

    For some reason this action did not get much press here in Sweden, but we will continue our work to inform the unknowing public. My guess is that the exploiters of V&F's control the media and stopped the story!!! Hence we will continue to publish our action here on the net, untill we got enough funds to do something about that!

    $0.10 DAMAGE [A shoe-lace broke]
    0 ARRESTED

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    Jan. 1, 1999, OPERATION DEMONSTRATION!


    After ten days of organization we where finally ready. Gathering our forces we went down to the local center of exploited V&F's, the Market Square.

    On our arrival we all frowned as we beholded our captured and tortured little friends. But we had decided to make it an peaceful demonstration, there where no possibilities for an rescue-attempt, I beg forgiveness!

    Well, we lined up and started to chant: "Salad is Murder", rose and exposed all of our signs and distributed our fliers containing vital information about the on-going mass murdering of V&F.

    As we are chanting we bring forth our faked juice [hmmm] and squirts the fake juice on all vegie oppressors wearing cotton-shirts, jeans etc. "Jeans is Murder".

    As our message spreads we hear the sirens closing in on and we are forced to leave.

    $0.50 DAMAGE (SUCCESS)
    0 ARRESTED

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    C:\VLF>TYPE MAILLIST.TXT
    Subscribe to our Mailing-list/Newsletter to get the latest info about the on going fight against the exploiters of vegies. Join it at http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/vlf
    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************

    C:\VLF>TYPE FAQ.TXT
    Q: What does the Vegetable Liberation Front do with vegetables they liberate?

    A: Vegetables that can not be re-introduced to the wild are given a check-up by a plant-doctor and then placed in loving homes to live out the rest of their natural life in peace.

    Q: Is it true that tomato/potato die after being released by the Vegetable Liberation Front?

    A: Yes it is true that some tomato/potato may die after being released from a farm, but atleast they have a chance at freedom - rather than certain and agonizing death at the hands of a "farmer".

    Q: I know of a vegetable abuser, can I send you info about them?

    A: Yes, ofcourse. We are always interested in any information about V&F abusers!

    Q: How do I join the Vegetable Liberation Front?

    A: Don't laugh, we actually got alot of people asking us this! somone joins the V.L.F. simply by doing V.L.F. actions. There is no official membership. Abide by the V.L.F. guidelines and never hurt anyone, vegetable or human.

    Q: How do I get more information on carnevism, vegetable rights, and other assorted vegetable issues?


    A: You can send your questions to mailto:chalmerist@technologist.com and our staff will respond within 2 weeks.

    Q: Will law enforcement know if I visit your site or send you e-mail?


    A: You should always assume that they will.

    ****************************************[ToP]****************************************
     
  2. 5stringJeff
    Offline

    5stringJeff Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2003
    Messages:
    9,990
    Thanks Received:
    536
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Puyallup, WA
    Ratings:
    +540
    The A.L.F. is a disturbingly scary terrorist organization. IMO they are more clandestine than al-Qaeda ever was.
     
  3. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +618
    I have a loving home for em...instead of rotting in the dirt, I'll cook em an eat em,
    then of course I'll recycle em too.
     
  4. insein
    Offline

    insein Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    6,096
    Thanks Received:
    356
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Philadelphia, Amazing huh...
    Ratings:
    +356
    If liberals ruled the world? It would only be for a few weeks. Everyone would be dead of starvation. No meat. No vegetables. WTF do they eat?
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  5. UsaPride
    Offline

    UsaPride Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2004
    Messages:
    3,939
    Thanks Received:
    198
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NC
    Ratings:
    +198
    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
     
  6. dilloduck
    Offline

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    53,240
    Thanks Received:
    5,552
    Trophy Points:
    1,850
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Ratings:
    +6,403
    I think it's just my son trying to dodge eating his broccoli.
     
  7. CivilLiberty
    Offline

    CivilLiberty Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2004
    Messages:
    821
    Thanks Received:
    50
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Hollywood
    Ratings:
    +50
    It's pretty obviously an intentional joke, Onion style.


    What's weird is that you actually even think it could be something other than a joke.

    Levity.

    A
     
  8. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    Yeah, well maybe.

    When it comes to you lefties and stupid, unreasonable and totally bizarre causes, nothing is beyond the realm of possibility.

    And I'm fairly good at recognizing a joke. After all, I remembered you.
     
  9. Shattered
    Online

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    How many of those vegetables have voting rights now??
     
  10. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    Well, according to our last election, around 56 million.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

Share This Page