Totally Tasteless Jokes, One Liners, Quips, and Other Assorted Sundries

[BorisTheAnimal]

OK gang, the idea is simple. Post your totally tasteless jokes, one liners, quips, and other assorted goodies here.



OK, I'll be the first. There was a man who was dumb as a sack of gravel who thought "innuendo" was Italian for Preparation H.

 

[Billo_Really]

Why do they make aspirin white?

So it'll work!

 

[Billo_Really]

What's the difference between a Porche and a Mercedes?

Lady Di wouldn't be caught dead in a Porche.

 

[Billo_Really]

Did you hear about the new gay sitcom?

Leave it, it's beaver!

 

[yidnar]

a midget is suing the city of New York for building a sidewalk to close to his ass .

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

what's the difference between a porche and a mercedes?

lady di wouldn't be caught dead in a porche.

booooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Billo_Really]

booooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do gay guys use ribbed condoms?

Better traction in the mud!

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

Count Dracula decided to go to New York City for a vacation. One night he decided he wanted Italian for dinner so here he is hanging off the Brooklyn Bridge. A short, dumpy Guido goes walking by and Dracula siphons him and throws him over. No splash. Next day, same bridge, another Guido goes by and he's siphoned, thrown over, no splash. Now Dracula is beginning to get curious. Next day, same bridge, another Guido walks by and Dracula siphons him. This time when he throws him over, he peers over the side of the bridge and sees this well-fed alligator in the Hudson river rubbing his belly and singing "Drained Wops keep falling on my head."

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

You hear about these new tires that Borelli introduced? First, Dago t'rough da snow. Den, Dago t'rough da mud. And when Dago flat, Dago wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.

 

[idb]

The dyslexic junkie that thought he was buying LSD but ended up with faster broadband.

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

booooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do gay guys use ribbed condoms?

Better traction in the mud!

 

[Billo_Really]

When Mother Theresa died and got to the Pearly Gates, she was stopped by St Peter.

He told her, "Before I let you in, I need to ask you a few questions."

As he was saying this, Mother Theresa looks over his shoulder and sees Lady Di.

She exclaims to Peter, "Why am I out here answering questions after everything I've done in my life and Lady Di is already inside with a halo on her head?"

Peter looks over his shoulder, then turns to Mother Theresa and say's, "That ain't a halo, it's a steering wheel!"

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

when mother theresa died and got to the pearly gates, she was stopped by st peter.

He told her, "before i let you in, i need to ask you a few questions."

as he was saying this, mother theresa looks over his shoulder and sees lady di.

She exclaims to peter, "why am i out here answering questions after everything i've done in my life and lady di is already inside with a halo on her head?"

peter looks over his shoulder, then turns to mother theresa and say's, "that ain't a halo, it's a steering wheel!"

yikes!!!!!!

 

[Billo_Really]

The dyslexic junkie that thought he was buying LSD but ended up with faster broadband.

Why did the dyslexic cross the road?

To side to the other get to the!

 

[Billo_Really]

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they think we care!

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

The dyslexic junkie that thought he was buying LSD but ended up with faster broadband.

Why did the dyslexic cross the road?

To side to the other get to the!

 

[Pop23]

I found a 50 cent piece as I was walking to work today.

Had to go all the way home to get some cash.

 

[Billo_Really]

What's 12 inches long and makes a woman scream in the morning?

Crib death!

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

Say, what's s sure way to piss off an Irish dude??





Britain Rules!

 

[BorisTheAnimal]

What kind of "file" makes a hole go from this:


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to this:


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