10. He couldn't use his teleprompter. 9. He was debating in front of a hostile audience (white people with brains, people who have jobs, and people who love the USA) 8. He enjoyed a "rocky mountain high" before coming on stage. 7. He was still basking in the glory of his recent endorsement by Hugo Chavez. 6. He was preoccupied with Joe Biden making a complete fool of himself in his upcoming debate with Paul Ryan. 5. He wasn't sure what regional accent/dialect to use during the debate. 4. He was in awe of standing next to a man who has a brilliant business mind, and earned his money honestly. 3. He was more concerned about his next golf outing. 2. He figured that there are enough dumb-ass American voters out there who will vote for him no matter what he says or does. 1. He was horrified at the thought of having to "consummate" his 20th wedding anniversary after the debate last night.