To Inflate the Ego or Not to Inflate the Ego

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jillian, Dec 18, 2010.

  1. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    that is the question

    I have been having a discussion with one of our fellow board members about whether it is better to keep our kids humble or to pump up their egos and we seem to see things a bit differently.

    What say you?
     
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  2. RadiomanATL
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    RadiomanATL Senior Member

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    It's a balance, and about timing. Both need to happen, but recognizing when it is the right time for each is the hardest part of parenting.

    Edit: ONE of the hardest parts...
     
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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2010
  3. Zander
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    Zander Platinum Member

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    Kids in the USA stink at math and science. But have the highest "self esteem" of kids anywhere!!

    Focus on teaching kids how to achieve, the ego will take care of itself.
     
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  4. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    Oh.. I wasn't talking about telling the they're good at things they aren't. I agree with you about that. I also don't think "everyone should get a prize".

    I don't like that sort of thing and think it destroys aspirational thinking.
     
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  5. uscitizen
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    uscitizen Senior Member

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    Teach the kids to deal in reality.
    Reinforce good behaviour and punish bad behaviour.
    they will likely turn out well.
     
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  6. masquerade
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    masquerade positivity

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    I believe in positive reinforcement with my two children. Praising them for making a good decision and a job well done. I try not to criticize, but I don't have a problem telling them they did something wrong or made a poor decision when they need it. It's all about balance.
     
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  7. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    It is difficult. My feeling is that self-esteem is what enables kids to tell other kids to piss off when they're mean instead of seeking approval of "the group". And I think that for a kid to aspire to be the best they can be requires a healthy self-image.

    on the other hand, no one wants their kid to be "too full of themselves".
     
  8. masquerade
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    masquerade positivity

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    I have an exception. My 17 year-old son who scored a perfect 800 on his SAT chemistry subject test. 760 on his math ... I just can't remember what specific math test it was. The kid lives and breathes math and science.
     
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  9. uscitizen
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    uscitizen Senior Member

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    Children are different some will naturally have an over inflated ego and others will be less self assured.
    Each one will require different treatment.
    there is no one set of child rearing rules that work best for all children.
    You may have to tone down one childs agression and encourage anothers.
    Agression and self esteem/ego are somewhat linked.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2010
  10. random3434
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    random3434 Senior Member

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    One thing that makes me proud about Mini EZ is she DOES tell off the bullies. She had some kids in her PE class making fun of a boy with autism, she told them off. THEN, the other kids joined in and told those bullies off too, all it took was for someone to make the first move.

    Being honest with your kids and following through with things you tell them is a great way to help shape their character.

    And leading by example too. They look to us on how to 'be'-we are their first and strongest role models.
     
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