To Inflate the Ego or Not to Inflate the Ego

[Baruch Menachem]

They do something good, I tell them about it. They do something bad, I tell them about that. They get a C when they should get an A, I let them know that is not good.

I agree with Kat, that humility is good, humiliation is not.

 

[syrenn]

A bit of self esteem and being humble at the same time is always good in my book.
We all need self esteem. Those that don't, seem to try and compensate by being arrogant.

I feel that you cannot have to much self esteem. You cant instill enough into children in my opinion. Having a good healthy self esteem does not make you arrogant in my opinion.

I also don't feel that self esteem and huge ego are the same thing...or even in the same ball park.

 

[Kat]

A bit of self esteem and being humble at the same time is always good in my book.
We all need self esteem. Those that don't, seem to try and compensate by being arrogant.

I feel that you cannot have to much self esteem. You cant instill enough into children in my opinion. Having a good healthy self esteem does not make you arrogant in my opinion.

I also don't feel that self esteem and huge ego are the same thing...or even in the same ball park.

I am not sure if you misunderstood what I was saying, but we agree on this.
Ego and self esteem are different, and self esteem is much more important.

As for the arrogance, I meant that some with LOW self esteem tend to compensate with arrogance.

 

[Samson]

Oh.. I wasn't talking about telling the they're good at things they aren't. I agree with you about that. I also don't think "everyone should get a prize".

I think that there is a certain age at which everyone should get a prize...probably 5 and under...maybe even up to 7. It teaches them to try hard and if you try hard, you might get something special.

But after that point, kids need to learn that you have to be the best to win.

Oh...also everyone should get a prize in the Special Olympics.

You just explained the USMB discussion board reputation function.

 

[ConHog]

A bit of self esteem and being humble at the same time is always good in my book.
We all need self esteem. Those that don't, seem to try and compensate by being arrogant.

I feel that you cannot have to much self esteem. You cant instill enough into children in my opinion. Having a good healthy self esteem does not make you arrogant in my opinion.

I also don't feel that self esteem and huge ego are the same thing...or even in the same ball park.

I am not sure if you misunderstood what I was saying, but we agree on this.
Ego and self esteem are different, and self esteem is much more important.

As for the arrogance, I meant that some with LOW self esteem tend to compensate with arrogance.

self esteem and arrogance may not be the same thing, but certainly too much self esteem can turn into arrogance. Look at our last football coach as an example of that.

 

[mudwhistle]

They do something good, I tell them about it. They do something bad, I tell them about that. They get a C when they should get an A, I let them know that is not good.

I agree with Kat, that humility is good, humiliation is not.

Humiliation is a very effective tool when used properly.

The kid does something wrong and as a result is humiliated....if he or she has a conscience he or she won't do it again.

Humiliation doesn't mean making them pay for their mistakes forever by constantly bringing them up later on.

 

[saltshaker]

Haven't read all the posts, so if I repeat something ........Oh well.
You want to give them credit, maybe even some praise when they do well. But when they don't you need to let them know without being cruel. You definitly don't want to lie and pump up their ego to the point that: One day they end up on American Idol being told "Oh MY GOODNESS! No one loved you enough to tell you [Don't do it, You really can't sing] Because you suck.

If daddy's little angel really can't sing, then daddy's little angel needs to know.