To Fathers of Daughters

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by BDBoop, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. BDBoop
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    BDBoop BANNED

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    With Father's Day coming up, I found this especially appropriate for those of you who are raising (or have raised) one or more of the female of the species.



    [​IMG]

    I have three sisters. I just told G2H the other day that my dad slept in the doctor's lounge whenever he was on call. I was in my 40's before I realized he was just trying to escape the four female (mom included, littlest was too young) Mad Synchronized PMS Event. For reasons which escape me, he never knew when it was coming.

    So to all y'all that have experienced that special [whatever the bleep that was] that raising a daughter brings ...

    :salute:
     
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  2. PredFan
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    PredFan Gold Member

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    I have 5 daughters; Jennifer, Rachel, Suzanne, Margot, and Bethany.

    Thanks!
     
  3. Ernie S.
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    Ernie S. Platinum Member

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    I have a daughter who will be 30 in July. New boyfriends always got a tour of my gun collection.
     
  4. BDBoop
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    Wow!!! That's amazing. I'm all misty. :) Nothing like a proud dad to bring that out in a female.

    I think it takes raising a girl to be able to 'get' women a little better. It's one thing to have mom, sisters, a wife - daughters are a whole new ballgame.

    ESPECIALLY if you didn't have sisters. I didn't have brothers, and a (mostly) absent dad, so on the men front, I was pretty much "Do what now?"
     
  5. BDBoop
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    Excellent work.

    I always loved the "Permission to Date My Daughter" paperwork. I should go dig that up.
     
  6. Uncensored2008
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    Uncensored2008 Libertarian Radical Supporting Member

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    I have three;

    Rieyan, Jessica, and Carol.

    All grown now.
     
  7. BDBoop
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    Anybody else next generation bound? I have three (or six, but since I haven't seen the other three for going on five years, I'll just go with my daughter's), a boy and two girls, 5, 4, and seven months.
     
  8. Uncensored2008
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    Uncensored2008 Libertarian Radical Supporting Member

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    Grandchildren?

    I have 6, 4 girls and 2 boys.
     
  9. Swagger
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    Swagger Gold Member

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    Like I've written previously, I was politely ushered into a room by my father-in-law shortly after I'd poached his princess where he asked me to write my name of a piece of paper. Slightly confused, I obliged. He then told me he'd break every bone in the hand I'd just used if I ever broke his daughter's heart. Law was given that day.
     
  10. BDBoop
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    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
    accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
    and current medical report from your doctor.

    NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

    HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

    SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

    BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

    HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

    Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
    Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
    If No, explain:
    ______________________________________________________________

    Number of years they have been married ______________________________

    If less than your age, explain
    ______________________________________________________________

    ______________________________________________________________


    ACCESSORIES SECTION:

    A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

    B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

    C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

    D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

    E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

    F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
    pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

    (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
    AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


    ESSAY SECTION:

    In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

    ______________________________________________________________

    ______________________________________________________________

    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

    ______________________________________________________________

    ______________________________________________________________

    In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

    ______________________________________________________________

    ______________________________________________________________


    REFERENCES SECTION:

    Church you attend ___________________________________________________

    How often you attend ________________________________________________

    When would be the best time to interview your:

    father? _____________

    mother? _____________

    pastor? _____________


    SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

    Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
    are confidential.

    A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

    ______________________________________________________________

    B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

    ______________________________________________________________

    C: A woman's place is in the:

    ______________________________________________________________

    D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

    ______________________________________________________________

    E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

    ______________________________________________________________

    ______________________________________________________________

    F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

    ______________________________________________________________

    F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

    I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
    THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
    NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
    WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


    _________________________________________________________
    Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Mother's Signature Father's Signature

    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

    Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
    non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

    You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
    not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
    cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
    notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
    (you might watch your back).
     
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