This is really bothering me!!!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Trinity, Apr 24, 2005.

  1. Trinity
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    Trinity VIP Member

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    Where to start I guess I should give some history here first...................


    I have a friend of mine that I have been friends with for about 15 years, we used to run around partying all the time when we were in our early twenties.

    She had 2 little girls then who were around the ages of 2 and 4, her ex boyfriend had custody of the youngest, and her mother had custody of her oldest, due to her having a drug problem when they were 1 and 3, before I knew her.

    When I met her she had cleaned up her act somewhat she was still smoking weed and drinking though. She ended up getting custody back of her older daughter, but not the youngest, she was raised by her father who is a non working, welfare recieving, low life, he would talk badly about my friend to their daughter and spoiled this child rotten, No disicipline at all, she was unbearable!!!! Kinda reminds me of the video of the 5 year old that was handcuffed!



    Anyway I married my soon to be ex husband in 95 became a homebody and had my oldest in 96 then my youngest in 98 we then moved out of the city to the country and I had quit hanging out with her because I just didn't get into the bar scene anymore, however we did still talk on the phone periodically.



    Well last night we were going out to check out some bars that I was interested in possibly bartending at, and we hadn't been out together in about 10 years I thought we'll go check out these bars have a good time kinda thing.


    I go to pick her up and she wants to stop down at the local hang out where we used to party at all the time, she said something about oweing someone some money I said ok we'll stop for a drink then head out to these other bars.
    We stop in there for a drink and one of her friends comes in wants to know where we are going we tell her she wants to know if she can go with us, sure I don't care.


    We decide to go hit this one bar first were they serve food so we can all get something to eat, I guess I should also mention I am driving so I had about half of a smirnoff black ice at the first place and the other women who had went with us had 3 beam and cokes before we ever left, she is also driving. We get to this other bar and order food this other women has 2 more beam and cokes. I am now thinking ok you have had 5 beam and cokes in the past 2 hours do you really need to be driving. So when we got ready to leave I told her if you want you can leave your car here and I'll drive you, she declines with the, I'm fine I can drive prhase. Ok, what am I supposed to do here I just met this women, thankfully I was not riding with her!

    So as we are heading back to the first bar my friend tells me they were going to do some crank together, but she had told her friend that I do not do that stuff, and so she was not going to do it tonight either. I told her you do what ever you want I personally think you need to stay away from that shit because it is going to end up getting you in trouble!

    Needless to say we got back to the first place and they both ran out the front door to go to the car and snort some crank up their noses when my girlfriend came back in I looked at her and said I got to go!


    Not a damn thing has changed in that bar other then the faces, the bartender who was working when I first got there came up to my friend and asked her if she knew anyone who had some valium in a very loud voice! That's my cue time to go!


    I guess what is really bothering me is 1. I thought my girl friend had straightened her self up I guess she thinks since she only does it on the weekends it is ok! and 2. This is a biggie the other women who was with us is an alcholic and a coke head and she is the head of a very well known national youth orginaztion! Who's name I will not mention if you want to know pm me!



    So needless to say I was home by 9:30 last night due to the fact that I don't hang out with druggies! I have kid's to think about!


    Speaking of kid's here is the second part this friend of mine's daughter's are 18 and 16 now. Her 18 year old is 6 months pregnant and not finished with high school yet, her 16 year old is completly out of control.

    Her mother called the cops on her Thursday for striking her, her daughter's father showed up and wanted my friend throw in jail for hitting her daughter. The cop that came told her daughter you are a selfish, spoiled brat, you have everything you could want and you are just rebeling. Ok. Well the cop arrested the daughter and took her to juvenile.

    It gets better she then tells me last night that her daughter had been seeing this black guy who was 22, and her daughter had gotten pregnant by him, however this guy is facing 10 years in prison for an armed robbery, I think! so she made her 16 year old get an abortion, she told her this guy is going to be locked up for 10 years and you are 16, I am not raising your baby!


    Regardless of her poor choices she has made, she can be a really decent person, if she would get away from the people she is hanging with, I just don't know how to go about telling her you are making very stupid decisions! That are going to end up putting you in jail! I can not afford to be associated with her with the things she is doing, I have kid's to think about and I am very uncomfortable being in a situation like that! It's very unfortunate because we have been friends for so long!


    Ok I guess I'm done venting for now!
     
  2. krisy
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    krisy Senior Member

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    I know who you are talking about and stay the hell away from her!!! You don't need that right now.I can't believe those girls are that old !!!

    I saw you back on the board early last night and told Kev I was wondering what was going on. I'm glad you left-good choice!!! :clap:
     
  3. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Ditto--being with her at all says that you somewhat approve of what she's doing. Run and never look back---I'f you'd like you can tell her exactly why you're leaving her and what she has to do to enjoy you're friendship again. Some folks are just willing to go through a bunch more hell til they quit--she may never but you gotta save yourself and kids--It's all you can control--sorry to hear your friend is in trouble
     
  4. Trinity
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    Trinity VIP Member

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    That's what I did too, I ran as fast as I could! :D


    I guess I just can't get over the fact that these people are all in their late 30's and early 40's, when do they grow up?
     
  5. krisy
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    krisy Senior Member

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    Sad thing is,they never will most probably. Who could give up motherhood for drugs has a pretty damn serious problem. I know for most of us,NOTHING comes before the well being of our kids.
     
  6. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Ditto with fatherhood.
     
  7. KarlMarx
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    KarlMarx Senior Member

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    This bunch sounds like trouble... if it were me, I'd stay as far away from these people as possible. Sometimes people clean up their act, but sadly, most of the time, they don't. You don't need their problems compounded on top of yours.

    Maybe your friend is a decent person and maybe she isn't. The problem with drug addicts (and if she's doing crack, she's an addict), is that you can't tell where the person ends and the drugs start. Also, this person will lie, cheat, steal and God knows what in order to get her next fix. Don't be her next victim!

    I would cut the relationship off completely, if you are going through a divorce and have kids, the last thing you need is a druggie for a companion.... I can imagine his attorney going to town with that one! If you have kids, you don't want to be a bad example to them. I can see your kids picking up their bad habits, too.

    Frankly, I wouldn't be hanging out in bars, either, if you want to meet anyone decent, but then, that's me. My experience is that if you want to just go out and have a good time, once in a while that's one thing. But if you make it a habit, well.... you're not likely to meet anyone worth wasting your life on... if you know what I mean!

    One thing I found out since I've been divorced is that there are more messed up people out there than I originally thought and they all more screwed up that I thought they were in the first place.
     
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  8. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    Based on personal experience, if you continue to associate with those people, they're problems will become yours, at any hour of the day or night. There is no limit to what they will take from you ( I say take, because the favors are never returned) and they never change. If you like drama, stick around, try to help, but it's futile.
     
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  9. Said1
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    Who knew?
     
  10. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    and then we wonder why the country is so screwed up. :mad:
     

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