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Theophano was Holy Roman Empress as the wife of Otto II from 973 until his death in 983. She was regent for her son Otto III from 984 until her death in 991.
When Otto I , King of Germany, was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XII in 962, he wanted to legitimize his rule by cementing an alliance with the Byzantine empire. To that end, he sent an emissary to the Byzantine court looking for a princess “born in the purple” (i.e born to a ruling emperor) as a bride for his son, the future Otto II. But the Byzantine emperor was having none of it. He objected to Otto’s intrusions into Italy and called him a king, not an emperor.
A year later, the emperor was dead, at the hands of his wife and his military commander John Tzimiskes, and Tzimiskes had seized power. Otto sent the Bishop of Cologne to try again. This time he was successful and returned to Rome with Theophano as a bride for Otto II. Theophano arrived laden with Byzantine treasures but there was some consternation. She was not the “Princess of the purple” that they were expecting but the niece of John Tzimiskes. Some of Otto’s circle advised sending her back but Otto had been working on this for too long and felt he had gained enough and the marriage went ahead.
From this inauspicious beginning Otto II and Theophano built a strong marriage and worked in conjunction to rule the empire. She was often listed as co-emperor and was the instigator behind many grants and donations. Theophano and Otto had three daughters and a son.
As a foreigner, there was much talk of Theophano’s strange ways. In addition to being too “talkative”, she bathed every day and used a two pronged implement (a fork) to bring food to her mouth instead of using her hands. Her relationship with her mother-in-law Adelheid was notoriously poor. In addition to the cultural differences, no doubt they each looked to be the first lady in the land. Eventually Otto II removed Adelheid from court to resolve the matter. She had a better relationship with her sister-in-law, who was the Abbess at Quedlinburg where they always spent Easter.
Theophano, Holy Roman Empress - History of Royal Women
She was despised and these are some lines from a song and what they mean.
Text
The blacksmith strikes the anvil, and he strikes the neighbours too,
For the matchmaker and the princeling stand at the door.
Theophano wanted cake, but the beauty ate it.
He who wore the coronation robe now sports leather,
And if winter comes to him, he wears also his fur.
Those “shrivelled horn-players” with “hand-sized anuses,”
Parade the murderous adultress on the saddle of a mule.
Commentary
The first line is a proverb, meaning, perhaps, “The blacksmith will give you a hammering, so watch out.” From the second line, things become more specfic. The “matchmaker” is surely Basil the Parakoimomenos (alt. the Nothos, “Bastard') the illegitimate son of Romanos II Lekapenos (920-44), who was castrated to render him ineligible for the throne. As a eunuch he held high state office, surviving the overthrow of his father and half-brothers in 944, and outliving Constantine VII and Romanos II (959-63). “Matchmaker” surely refers to his arranging the marriage of Constantine VII's daughter, Theodora, the “beauty” of line three, to the “princeling” John I Tzimiskes (969-76). This act deprived Theophano (of line three), widow of the murdered Nikephoros II Phokas (963-9), of her lover and conspirator, John, and led to her exile. Apparently this followed public ridicule, by the familiar Byzantine practice of leading her through the streets of Constantinople on a mule (often seated backwards, although that is not stated here), although Morgan suggests this was acted out after her exile, allowing the demes a chance to sing this song. Theophano's exile, and hence ridicule, is attributed to men, described by masculine plural compounds as “shrivelled horn-players” and “hand-sized anuses.” These are references to the eunuch Basil, and probably also Patriarch Polyeuktos, formerly a monk, who had forbidden the marriage of Theophano and Tzimiskes on the grounds that Theophano had already twice been married (to the emperor Romanos II before Nikephoros II). The sexual innuendo is clear, and likely reflects popular scorn for eunuchs and monks as the passive partners in homosexual acts.
A Byzantine Satirical Song
Edited for the link.
When Otto I , King of Germany, was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XII in 962, he wanted to legitimize his rule by cementing an alliance with the Byzantine empire. To that end, he sent an emissary to the Byzantine court looking for a princess “born in the purple” (i.e born to a ruling emperor) as a bride for his son, the future Otto II. But the Byzantine emperor was having none of it. He objected to Otto’s intrusions into Italy and called him a king, not an emperor.
A year later, the emperor was dead, at the hands of his wife and his military commander John Tzimiskes, and Tzimiskes had seized power. Otto sent the Bishop of Cologne to try again. This time he was successful and returned to Rome with Theophano as a bride for Otto II. Theophano arrived laden with Byzantine treasures but there was some consternation. She was not the “Princess of the purple” that they were expecting but the niece of John Tzimiskes. Some of Otto’s circle advised sending her back but Otto had been working on this for too long and felt he had gained enough and the marriage went ahead.
From this inauspicious beginning Otto II and Theophano built a strong marriage and worked in conjunction to rule the empire. She was often listed as co-emperor and was the instigator behind many grants and donations. Theophano and Otto had three daughters and a son.
As a foreigner, there was much talk of Theophano’s strange ways. In addition to being too “talkative”, she bathed every day and used a two pronged implement (a fork) to bring food to her mouth instead of using her hands. Her relationship with her mother-in-law Adelheid was notoriously poor. In addition to the cultural differences, no doubt they each looked to be the first lady in the land. Eventually Otto II removed Adelheid from court to resolve the matter. She had a better relationship with her sister-in-law, who was the Abbess at Quedlinburg where they always spent Easter.
Theophano, Holy Roman Empress - History of Royal Women
She was despised and these are some lines from a song and what they mean.
Text
The blacksmith strikes the anvil, and he strikes the neighbours too,
For the matchmaker and the princeling stand at the door.
Theophano wanted cake, but the beauty ate it.
He who wore the coronation robe now sports leather,
And if winter comes to him, he wears also his fur.
Those “shrivelled horn-players” with “hand-sized anuses,”
Parade the murderous adultress on the saddle of a mule.
Commentary
The first line is a proverb, meaning, perhaps, “The blacksmith will give you a hammering, so watch out.” From the second line, things become more specfic. The “matchmaker” is surely Basil the Parakoimomenos (alt. the Nothos, “Bastard') the illegitimate son of Romanos II Lekapenos (920-44), who was castrated to render him ineligible for the throne. As a eunuch he held high state office, surviving the overthrow of his father and half-brothers in 944, and outliving Constantine VII and Romanos II (959-63). “Matchmaker” surely refers to his arranging the marriage of Constantine VII's daughter, Theodora, the “beauty” of line three, to the “princeling” John I Tzimiskes (969-76). This act deprived Theophano (of line three), widow of the murdered Nikephoros II Phokas (963-9), of her lover and conspirator, John, and led to her exile. Apparently this followed public ridicule, by the familiar Byzantine practice of leading her through the streets of Constantinople on a mule (often seated backwards, although that is not stated here), although Morgan suggests this was acted out after her exile, allowing the demes a chance to sing this song. Theophano's exile, and hence ridicule, is attributed to men, described by masculine plural compounds as “shrivelled horn-players” and “hand-sized anuses.” These are references to the eunuch Basil, and probably also Patriarch Polyeuktos, formerly a monk, who had forbidden the marriage of Theophano and Tzimiskes on the grounds that Theophano had already twice been married (to the emperor Romanos II before Nikephoros II). The sexual innuendo is clear, and likely reflects popular scorn for eunuchs and monks as the passive partners in homosexual acts.
A Byzantine Satirical Song
Edited for the link.
