The wonder of tampons

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Bootneck, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. Bootneck
    Offline

    Bootneck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,576
    Thanks Received:
    2,972
    Trophy Points:
    2,050
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +4,172
    Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
    The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' Eight,'the boy replied.
    The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
    The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.
    He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would
    be able to swim, ride a bike, and play tennis. Right now, he can't do any of them.'
     
  2. Bootneck
    Offline

    Bootneck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,576
    Thanks Received:
    2,972
    Trophy Points:
    2,050
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +4,172
    A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a display of tampons stacked on a table in corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the assistant if it was correct. He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!" Assistant says, "Yes, it's correct. See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."
     
  3. strollingbones
    Offline

    strollingbones Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    Messages:
    65,657
    Thanks Received:
    15,627
    Trophy Points:
    2,190
    Location:
    chicken farm
    Ratings:
    +31,973
    now i cant help but wonder...does bootneck know that there were and i guess still are tampons without strings...myself...i considered it a real bad idea....like the "cup"..i still do....but that is just one more advantage of my age....man when i first started into menapause nothing would piss me off more than after 9 months having a period lol...you have to be w/o one for a year before its official and over and all...is this tmi in the humor section?
     
  4. necritan
    Offline

    necritan Liberals are retarded

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,182
    Thanks Received:
    137
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Peoples Republik of Kalifornistan
    Ratings:
    +137
    Yes.
     
  5. alan1
    Offline

    alan1 USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2008
    Messages:
    18,845
    Thanks Received:
    3,577
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    Shoveling the ashes
    Ratings:
    +3,769
    A vampire walked into the bar and ordered a cup of hot water.
    The other guys at the bar laughed at him and asked if he wanted a manly drink.
    As the bartender sat the cup of water in front of him, he pulled out a used tampon, dropped it in the cup and said, "I'll just have my tea".
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. necritan
    Offline

    necritan Liberals are retarded

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,182
    Thanks Received:
    137
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Peoples Republik of Kalifornistan
    Ratings:
    +137
    Wow.....that was gross....Lol
     
  7. alan1
    Offline

    alan1 USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2008
    Messages:
    18,845
    Thanks Received:
    3,577
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    Shoveling the ashes
    Ratings:
    +3,769
    Then he went swimming, rode a bike and played tennis.
     
  8. Bootneck
    Offline

    Bootneck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,576
    Thanks Received:
    2,972
    Trophy Points:
    2,050
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +4,172
    I wonder why they're called tampons. Surely they should be tampins.
     
  9. alan1
    Offline

    alan1 USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2008
    Messages:
    18,845
    Thanks Received:
    3,577
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    Shoveling the ashes
    Ratings:
    +3,769
    Just who has to tamp on them to get them in?
     
  10. Bootneck
    Offline

    Bootneck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,576
    Thanks Received:
    2,972
    Trophy Points:
    2,050
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +4,172
    Yes. They call them Scarlet Pimpernels. Once inserted, they seek it here. They seek it there. They seek that damned Scarlet Pimpernel everywhere.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

Share This Page