The Sexism of Virginity

Delta4Embassy

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Dec 12, 2013
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Article blew my mind about the hymen. Absolute must-read for anyone who still thinks a girl's virginity is anything sacred or valueable or desireable (but a boy's?)

Since the site this is from has nudity throughout (it's a sex help site afterall) I'm posting the thing in its' entirety. If you want more info like it google Dr. Betty Dodson. That'll get ya to it.

"I never had a hymen...Betty never had a hymen. When I shared with my mother that hymens thin out and break apart with the release of estrogen during puberty, she was relieved. She was a virgin when she got married and always wondered why she didn't bleed after her first intercourse. Her exact words, "why didn't someone tell me this in school?" - I resisted the impulse to rub her nose in her abstinence-only sex ed belief system.

The hymen is what I call a sex "unicorn" - things that don't really exist but are idealized by the culture (like simultaneous orgasms - yes they happen but they're rare). However, the hymen is much more lethal. It's used to instill fear and shame on women in an effort to control their wombs. I thought I'd set the record straight on all fronts. Note: all science is based on generalities - when it comes to mother nature there is a range of results and every person is biologically unique.

The majority of women are born with hymens - it's rare but some women are born without one. This thin membrane is located at the vaginal opening. Some hymens completely cover the opening..some look like swiss cheese...some look like fringe along the edges...some are barely visible (like this image of unbroken hymens). Once a young girl hits puberty, her body starts to release estrogen which thins out the hymen to accommodate menstruation.

Most often it breaks open with a smidge of membrane left behind at the base of the vaginal opening. It can break open during penetration or riding your bike. Just because you don't have a hymen doesn't mean you've had intercourse. Finally, in rare circumstances the hymen doesn't thin out and must be opened surgically. It is possible that you could be penetrated vaginally and still have a hymen because your hymen didn't completely cover your vaginal opening and it stretched to accommodate a penis. However, this is extremely RARE.

During genital show & tell in the Bodysex groups, Betty and I often see small hymenal tags along the sides of the vaginal opening. They look like a sweet little pink scalloped edge. I don't have them and most of the vulva we see don't either. However, we do see them.

The whole point here is that many women bleed during their first intercourse due to lack of sexual arousal and tearing of the vaginal lining (most men are a bit rough and don't use lubricant). I guess I resent the hymen because it's another example of the sexual double standard. Every woman should be penetrating their vagina themselves to claim their bodies as their own. The whole concept of bloodly sheets on your wedding night makes me sick. The idea of women reattaching their hymens to relive the night they popped their cherry is ridiculous.

Ultimately, the hymen is a myth...a myth used to subjugate women. Like Betty says - once you've had an orgasm with masturbation, you're not a virgin anymore. "
 
The valuation of virginity is completely sexist. How do you check for virginity but by sticking your finger inside a girl's body? How do you check it in a boy, or do you not even bother. That's sexism through and through. We value it in women, could care less about it in men. And when the hymen isn't there and inpenetratable all the time, how reliable is checking for it in the first place?

Valuation of virginity is also dangerous. How many little girls are abducted and used as "virgin sex slaves?" Some even sell their virginity to the highest bidder.

"A mother of 14 in Colombia tried to make ends meet, police say, by pushing her daughters into "hell" and selling their virginity for a couple hundred dollars.

Margarita de Jesus Zapata Moreno, 45, was arrested this week together with a 51-year-old contractor who police believe impregnated one of the young daughters.

She broke down in tears when she stood in front of the cameras after being arrested in Bogota, the Colombian capital. The Bogota Metropolitan Police say Zapata sold the virginity of 12 daughters to much older men seeking to have sex with young virgins.

Authorities also say the suspect would begin selling her daughters to men as soon as the girls turned 12 years old. She charged anywhere between 300,000 and 400,000 Colombian Pesos ($160 to $212) for a virgin."
Colombian mother sold 12 daughters virginity police say - CNN.com

This is what happens when you overvalue something like virginity. It becomes a commodity and just serves to exploit children.
 

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