The recession has hit everybody really hard...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jos, Aug 5, 2011.

  1. Jos
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    Jos BANNED

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    My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

    CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

    I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

    If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

    McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

    My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

    A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

    A picture is now only worth 200 words.

    When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

    The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    And, finally....

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call centre in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
     
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  2. Baruch Menachem
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    Baruch Menachem '

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    My cousin had an exorcism but they couldn't afford to pay for it, so they re possessed her. I like that one.
     
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  3. Missourian
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    Missourian Gold Member

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    *You must spread some reputation around...
     
  4. High_Gravity
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    High_Gravity Belligerent Drunk Supporting Member

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    Good on Jos.
     

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