And other things THEY don't want you to know. Ok, so I'm watching TV the other night and I see this idiot named Matthew Lesko talk about how even YOU can get FREE money from the government...to jack around all day and pretend you're worth more than that giant zit on your nose. So anyway, I thought to myself, HOLY SH*T! I CAN GET FREE MONEY IF I BUY STUFF FROM THIS DOUCHE! Unable to contain the inevitable orgasm over recieving free money from the government, I decided to grab my paycheck and see if I had enough to spare to buy this AWESOME book, when I noticed something. The government had bent me over, reached up my colon, and extracted a huge amount of my hard earned money, then kicked me in the balls for good measure by giving it to morons who are stupid enough to buy duma**'s book and request a year's pay to sit around and pretend they're writing a book. That and Social Security...and medicare...damn old people bleeding me dry with their hypochondriac idiocy. That's when I started to think about minimum wage and a few other things people expect out of the government. They ask and trust the government for everything, despite the fact that the government is nothing more than a big, bloated, beauracratic bully with a bunch of marble buildings...paid for with money forcefully extracted from my penny-pinching fingers. Anyway, I immediately thought of this analogy and thought I'd share it with the world (isn't the internet awesome...except for emo wusses and goth crybabies?): Let's say you just got paid $100 for mowing some guy's lawn a few times. You're walking home, thinking of how manly you were for mowing some guy's lawn in the middle of the summer heat when the wussy boys were enjoying their sissy conditioning inside. However, some guy in a suit walks up and kicks you in the balls, then takes $20. He immediately goes down the street and gives $10 to those annoying emo morons who play crappy music until 3 a.m. He explains that he does this so they'll keep playing music, but can't explain why they need to keep doing so instead of deciding to get a job or stop being blemishes on society. He then uses the other $10 to install a doggy door in a house that has no dogs. He then tells you that he may, one day, use some money to fix the hole in your fence that allows dogs in to chew on your stuff and crap on your lawn. However, if you fix the fence yourself or even try to stop the dogs from ruining your stuff, he'll kick you in the balls again. Now, I'd drop kick such a guy in the throat, headbutt him into submission, and then take a crap all over his suit. Then, I'd take my $20 and spend it on a baseball bat to use on him if he ever came back. Most people, though, most notoriously liberals, would ask the guy for $5 to tide them over for the weekend and ask him to kick their employers in the balls if their pay doesn't go up. It's pure idiocy, so let me pose a simple question to you: Your employer gives you the money to buy food, clothes, rent/mortgage, a car, gas, and everything else you have. The government bends you over and makes you take it straight up the a** so they can buy $100,000 amalgamations of twisted scrap metal some idiot calls 'art' and 9 figure bridges to islands with populations smaller than Mayberry. Why is it that you love the government and hate your employer? Why do you ask the government to make your employer pay you more and give you 'free' health care, rather than b*tch slap the government into not taking 1/3 of your money and wasting it on garbage?