The Evolutionary History of the World...Today's Lesson

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Qantrill, Sep 25, 2012.

  1. Qantrill
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    Qantrill UP THERE WITHOUT ONE

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    Evolutionary History of the world...

    Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
    They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to
    the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

    The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of
    beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
    to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
    together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2
    distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

    Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
    of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
    invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around
    waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
    brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
    night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
    known as "the Conservative movement."

    Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
    off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
    the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
    Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
    women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

    Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
    cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of
    Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
    conservatives provided.

    Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
    most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
    symbolized by the jackass.

    Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
    white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
    beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
    fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women
    have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
    personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
    group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
    rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
    for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
    lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
    officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone
    who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own
    companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
    producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
    Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
    liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.
    They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of
    trying to get MORE for nothing.

    Here ends today's lesson in world history:
     
  2. occupied
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    occupied Gold Member

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    Must be from the Texas biology curriculum.
     
  3. del
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    del BANNED

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    serious question

    are you mentally retarded?
     
  4. Qantrill
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    Qantrill UP THERE WITHOUT ONE

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    And the truth hits home....HARD!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. del
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    del BANNED

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    i guess that's a yes.

    your post was funny the first time i read it.

    forty years ago.
     
  6. OKTexas
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    OKTexas Platinum Member Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Probably, but who cares! It's funny.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  7. g5000
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    g5000 Diamond Member

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    Indeed. So far, every topic he has started has been plagiarized.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO71nNiV5p8]The Evolution Of Humans Into Liberals and Conservatives - YouTube[/ame]
     
  8. Qantrill
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    Qantrill UP THERE WITHOUT ONE

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    Oh LOOK! G5000 just plagiarized a YouTube video. Dipshit. ©
     

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