Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by JakeStarkey, Aug 20, 2018.
Found this in his diaries.
Someone has no humor.
Sheriff deputy spends a slow afternoon working a speed trap without any violations, when a car finally comes flying by at a high rate of speed.
Approaching the vehicle, the deputy remarks, "I have been waiting for you all day".
The driver smiles and replies, "Well, I got here as fast as I could".
Professor Heisenberg gets pulled over the police. The cop asks the professor, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The professor replies, "No, but I know precisely where I am."
A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says: “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer, and walked away.
Separate names with a comma.