The annoyed boss

Discussion in 'Writing' started by rtwngAvngr, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. rtwngAvngr
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    rtwngAvngr Guest

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    The angry boss swore as the underling fidgeted nervously.

    "Simmons, will you please quit chattering and squirming, What's wrong with you?"

    Simmons sat silently. His eyes began to well up.

    "So you're gonna cry now? Oh jesus."

    Mr. Billings walked out of the board room flustered, disgusted. He went to his office.
     
  2. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    What's this?

    Underling doesn't work well either. Use cafone and change it to a mafia story. :laugh:


    Just kidding.
     
  3. rtwngAvngr
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    rtwngAvngr Guest

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    Why do you hate me? Just kidding! :dance:
     
  4. Said1
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    I thought the boss was annoyed?

    Why is he annoyed, mid-life crisis looming and always in a perpetual state of anxiety since his friends started dropping dead a few years ago?
     
  5. rtwngAvngr
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    He's annoyed at the weakness, immaturity, and incompetence of his workers. It's certainly not like when he was coming up through the ranks. He needs a scotch.
     
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    It's usually the boss who lacks competence and maturity. Probably all the scotch.
     
  7. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    ooh...hope you don't mind if I play, too....

    Mr. Billings swore under his breath at his newest trainee whose words were coming out of his mouth in an incoherant stream.

    "Simmons will you please stop your chattering and sit still, dammit. What on earth is wrong with you?"

    Simmons immediately went silent, his eyes welling with tears.

    "Oh, Jaysus.... you're not going to start to cry, are you?"....

    On that note, Billings turned on his heels and walked out of the boardroom, disgusted by the talentless, gutless group of trainees being turned out by what passed for universities these days.
     
  8. rtwngAvngr
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    That's actually a good rewrite, incorporating the flavor of stuff i thought of later. You ARE good for something! :teeth:
     
  9. rtwngAvngr
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    I am little light on adjective use, because really I want to be a screenwriter. Adjectives are basically useless in that context.
     
  10. jillian
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    :finger3: (just kidding).... :p:
     

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