Texas solution if Heinz 57 is elected !

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Sandy73, Sep 1, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
    Online

    Sandy73 Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

    We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins president over Bush. We'll miss you too.

    Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.

    Here is our solution:

    #1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states.)

    #2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

    So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

    1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space industry.)

    2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

    3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas,"

    will take on a whole new meaning.

    4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the

    next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

    5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern

    states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

    6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips

    and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS,

    Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials,

    Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc.

    The list goes on and on.

    7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the

    best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health

    planning centers.

    8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice,

    SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows

    better in the south anyway

    9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need some more).

    10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

    11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air

    National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least

    six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the

    situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them

    to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

    12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit

    and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here

    knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

    This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape.

    There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

    Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:

    Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be

    able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have

    to walk or ride bikes.

    You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications.

    You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted

    global warming, you will not need the gas.

    Signed, The People in Texas
     
  2. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    I may move to texas! My sister already lives in Austin.
     
  3. Sandy73
    Online

    Sandy73 Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Im not too far just a couple hour drive ! :read: :cof:
     
  4. CSM
    Offline

    CSM Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2004
    Messages:
    6,907
    Thanks Received:
    708
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Ratings:
    +708
    Hmmm this sounds suspisciously like blackmail. The good folks up here in Maine will just keep their lobster for themselves then. Hmmmph.
     
  5. dilloduck
    Offline

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    53,240
    Thanks Received:
    5,552
    Trophy Points:
    1,850
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Ratings:
    +6,403


    shhhhhhh---I'll smuggle ya some prime beef for lobster ! We can work this out !!

    seriously tho---I wonder how many people hate Bush JUST because he's Texan. There are a lot of people who don't take to us very kindly .
     
  6. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +618
    That's cuz of the bogas claim that "everything is bigger in Texas". Truth is most of ya'll are pretty damn short.:rotflmao: Tis true...
     
  7. dilloduck
    Offline

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    53,240
    Thanks Received:
    5,552
    Trophy Points:
    1,850
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Ratings:
    +6,403
    and people believe us???----cmon-everyone brags about thier state !
     
  8. Jimmyeatworld
    Offline

    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    2,239
    Thanks Received:
    223
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Location:
    America
    Ratings:
    +223
    Come on down. We'll leave the porch light on.

    Oh, and as far as the "short" comment, bigger doesn't have to mean taller. John Kerry is tall. You can keep the tall.

    Old dirty joke: What's the difference between a yankee having sex and a Texan having sex?

    A yankee walks up and sticks it in, a Texan sticks it in and walks up. :happy2:
     
  9. Hobbit
    Offline

    Hobbit Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2004
    Messages:
    5,099
    Thanks Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Near Atlanta, GA
    Ratings:
    +421
    As I replied on a similar thread, I'd be willing to bet Arkansas would join, if for nothing other than to keep the UA/UT football rivalry behind. We'd just secede. Kerry wouldn't do anything without the support of the UN, and all we have to do to secure the UN is give France, Germany, and Russia a bunch of soybeans, and once the Texan defenses join the Arkansan defenses, we'll cut their supply back off and laugh. Arkansas has more rifles than Texas...and with a smaller population. Give me six hours and I'll give you a battallion. Arkansas has vast supplies of corn, rice, soybeans, beef, and pork, and houses the largest chicken empire in the world (Tyson) with a few smaller ones. We also have Wal-Mart headquarters and a few trucking lines. Need nuclear weapons? Arkansas has many silos and B-52s. I haven't even started on how Axciom, located in Arkansas, houses billions of gigabytes of information for corporations around the world. Can you say ransom?

    Actually, after that, we may just reform the old south. We can all live without 'em, and then we'd have the NASA training, construction, and launch sites as well.
     
  10. Mr. P
    Offline

    Mr. P Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    11,329
    Thanks Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    South of the Mason Dixon
    Ratings:
    +618
    Yep Jimmy...I think that's pretty much how most folks worm cattle in Texas. No joke... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
     

Share This Page