Tenure Intrigue: Princeton Dianetics (Theosophical Society)

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  1. Abishai100
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    This is a capitalism-prose inspired by Pixels.

    Cheers (signing off),




    :banned:

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    A brilliant female vigilante named Selina Kyle was living in 1900s New York and working to fight crime as the cunning 'Catwoman.' Catwoman tackled various criminal organizations such as the Black Hand, Cobra, and mafia groups undermining modern era (post-colonialism) commerce and social contracts. Catwoman was a true democracy-defender, but she was haunted by an unnamed demon, a dark dog-like spirit from Hell, which reminded her of the 'vanity' of commercial betrayals and made her feel like her vigilante-crusade was futile. Catwoman was so haunted by this 'demon-dog' that she decided to take up teaching as a side-profession, and so she decided to seek employment at the prestigious Ivy League school Princeton University where she could teach an intro-course (as an assistant-professor) on Ethics in Capitalism. Selina/Catwoman was, after all, educationally trained in economics, having obtained a B.A. in Economic Theory at the University of Pennsylvania. Selina/Catwoman wanted to rid her mind of this demon-dog.

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    As many Americans knew and appreciated, Princeton was considered a 'beacon' of enlightenment and erudition, and many respected scholars studied and taught there. Selina managed to immediately obtain a teaching-position at Princeton as assistant-professor and began teaching her intro-course titled Ethics in Capitalism. There were about 100 students in her introductory course, including an aspiring young man named Thomas Hewitt who sought to someday be an economics-intellectualism minded politician in D.C. Selina's course was well-received, and she received commendations from her superiors and peers for her friendly teaching-style and interactive approach to economics education. Selina talked about various issues/subjects in her Ethics in Capitalism course at Princeton, including the valuation of contract-reliability in the modern age of profit-based networking (e.g., ECOSOC - United Nations Economic and Social Council).

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    As Selina solidified her position as a diligent economics professor at Princeton University, she started forgetting about her 'demon-dog' spectre which had until now haunted her and made her feel like her vigilante-crusade (as 'Catwoman') was somehow completely in vain. Selina worked as a respected assistant-professor by day and the vigilante Catwoman by night. It was a 'fair exercise.' Selina/Catwoman once again, and perhaps for the first time in her life, felt 'giddy' about American idealism and civics in modern society.

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    As Princeton continued to 'develop' as an incredible American institution of erudition and Ivy League school, celebrated in society and culture, Selina/Catwoman continued to hone her skills as a teacher and vigilante. She was well-received by her educational peers, while 'Catwoman' was hyped by journalists as a real diplomat of justice and democracy. One New Yorker writer even called her the 'female Eliot Ness.' Selina/Catwoman believed nothing could go wrong now, so she began working on a novel titled Defending Capitalism and envisioned the day that the world would no longer need crime-fighting democracy-defense altogether. Princeton had become a godsend for the wily Selina Kyle (aka, 'Catwoman').

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    As Selina sat down to begin her novel, using a very nice Remington typewriter, she suddenly felt an eerie cold breeze across her left shoulder. She thought someone whispered in her ear, "The demons still linger." Selina turned around to see where the voice came from, but there was no one there. Selina decided the voice signified some 'lingering evil presence' and worried it referred to some flaw or problem in American society which was eluding her at the moment. Selina picked up the phone and contacted her friend Arthur who was an economics professor at Princeton and head of the Princeton Theosophical Society. Arthur was working on a new theory of empiricism-based capitalism-praise for the Theosophical Society which would form the basis of some future capitalism-oriented ethics-rhetoric for the Church of Scientology. Selina asked Arthur to help her gain tenure as a full-professor at Princeton as soon as possible, since she felt uneasy about being haunted by some demonic 'force' and wanted to settle down comfortably and permanently as a Princeton teacher and continue work on her novel. Arthur encouraged her to continue writing her novel and promised to help her with tenure issues.

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    After one more year, Selina managed to gain tenure as a full-time professor at Princeton. Her work at the Ivy League school was outstanding, so she was considered a great 'candidate' for the position she sought, and Arthur used his respected links to the school and the Theosophical Society to help Selina rise in prominence at Princeton, since Arthur shared Selina's brand of 'sentiment-based education' in American society. Selina also started dating Arthur and he finally proposed to her. Selina now felt that there would be no more demons to plague her so she continued to work on her novel, Defending Capitalism. She worked on her novel every weekend and listened to a bird chirping outside her Princeton campus apartment.

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    After Selina and Arthur married, Selina continued to work as a vigilante ('Catwoman') by night but now considered retiring to simply finish her novel. However, that 'whispering demon' haunting her was real --- it was an impish 'Devil's Advocate' named Rumpelstiltskin who loved to dance in the moonlight and plague women whom he considered were foolish idealists. Rumpelstiltskin wanted to 'frighten' Selina/Catwoman and make her feel like there was some unresolved matter regarding the flaws in capitalism and American society in general. Rumpelstiltskin also wanted Selina to feel like her tenure-position at Princeton was vain and did not reflect the needs of the American people. Rumpelstiltskin became the new 'bane' in Selina's life, and she began to take sleeping-pills after she was being visited by the impish Rumpelstiltskin in her dreams. Selina even began seeing a psychiatrist who suggested that Rumpelstiltskin represented some deep paranoia about hypocrisy in education Selina harbored in her mind...and spirit.

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    After listening to her shrink's advice, Selina decided to travel to England with Arthur for a much-needed vacation and visited the armory of England's ancient weaponry museum where she beheld a magnificent old Romanian sword obtained by English knights during the Crusades. Selina sketched a drawing of this sword, which she named Romanian Sage [RS]. To Selina, RS suddenly became a 'feather' and 'sign' of idealism, and she would use it to exorcise the demon Rumpelstiltskin.

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    Arthur also obtained tenure at Princeton, and Selina was secretly jealous of her husband's prominence on campus. That's when Rumpelstiltskin struck Selina/Catwoman, sending her insidious ideas about the 'links' between capitalism-culture and cutthroat competitiveness. Rumpelstiltskin convinced Selina that Arthur was her real 'demon' and that she secretly fantasized about killing him and replacing him at Princeton in a form of 'intellectual patricide.' When Selina realized Rumpelstiltskin was a force of real 'subversion' she decided to use the spirit of RS (Romanian Sage), the incredible sacred-sword, to force Rumpelstiltskin to deal with the 'reality' of patriotism-rationalism. Selina told the imp, "If I choose to honor the status quo, then society will always consider me a patriot." Rumpelstiltskin departed from Selina, but reminded her that capitalism would always be 'plagued' by the lingering force of competitiveness. Nevertheless, Selina continued to admire Arthur at Princeton greatly and put Rumpelstiltskin behind her once and for all.

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    After Rumpelstiltskin departed, Selina began collecting comic books, mostly Commando War Comics and G.I. Joe patriot-comics and perusing why idealistic notions regarding the defense of democracy represented real human imagination. You see, Selina/Catwoman refused to allow the demonic messages of naysayers such as Rumpelstiltskin cloud her perspective on the goodness of capitalism-patriotism and American idealism. Selina even collected iconic images of patriotic paramilitary crusaders/soldiers embroiled in all kinds of 'revolutionary intrigue.' Selina was happy to be a tenured teacher at Princeton, a good wife to Arthur who was still head of the Theosophical Society, and an avid fan of war/patriotism comics. This sort of intellectual idealism was the foundation for a developing 'cinematic-imagination' in America.

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    As generations passed, Selina's grand-daughter, Barbara purchased a nifty see-through/transparent Swatch Swiss wrist-watch which showed the inner-working gears and dials of the watch. This Swatch watch preceded in design the see-through Apple iMacs we saw in the late 1990s, introduced by the genius Steve Jobs of Apple Computers. Barbara considered her Swatch-watch a terrific trophy and 'token' of capitalism-imagination, a great 'relic' of consumerism itself. Americans loved toys, and Barbara appreciated how her Swatch-watch resembled a toy. She remembered all the laurels her grandmother Selina/Catwoman gained in American society as an economics professor and democracy-defender. The Swatch-watch became an heirloom in Selina and Barbara's family.

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    As the new millennium approached, art and literature had evolved greatly, and movies had become much more graphic. Themes about urban anarchy, ruthless violence, complete terrorism, and anti-social behaviors were widely-circulated along with stories about very eccentric vigilantes such as Deadpool and Daredevil. These graphic forms of storytelling reflected a new age 'angst' about capitalism-oriented turbulence, perhaps manifested as a legacy of the 1972 Munich Summer Olympics Massacre and 9/11. Movies such as The Purge: Anarchy, The Terrorist, The Avengers, Dark City, and The Dark Knight revealed a strange American fascination with 'eerie hellishness.'

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    GOD: America will always appreciate the legacy of Selina/Catwoman.
    SATAN: Movies today reflect a social fascination with outlandish courage!
    GOD: Capitalism has 'evolved' to become a system of 'great adventures.'
    SATAN: Will Barbara's Swatch-watch be considered a trophy by archaeologists?
    GOD: Surely, consumerism-consciousness facilitates 'shopping-optimism.'
    SATAN: Are you a fan of Amazon.com, Facebook, Netgrocer, and eBay?
    GOD: I like MySpace and Priceline.com.
    SATAN: It's a convenience-based 'universe,' no?
    GOD: We have to be wary of gluttony and avarice.
    SATAN: Yes, cholesterol threatens the vitality of working women...
    GOD: I remember Selina's Remington typewriter fondly.
    SATAN: Arthur and Princeton were great helps to Selina/Catwoman.
    GOD: Someone should write a comic book about Catwoman.
    SATAN: Maybe I should encourage Barbara to take up the task!
    GOD: She is after all Selina's grand-daughter...
    SATAN: America has a lot of potential.
    GOD: Unfortunately terrorism [9/11] undermines basic idealism.
    SATAN: We need more vigilance-oriented storytelling.
    GOD: Are you a fan of Martin Scorsese's film Casino (Rober De Niro)?
    SATAN: I prefer Oliver Stone's Wall Street (Michael Douglas).
    GOD: I'm glad Selina got tenure at Princeton and married Arthur.
    SATAN: Arthur went on to write a book about Santa Claus in America...


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    :backpedal:
     

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