Say it ain't so!

[Oddball]

When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs would come out in full force. They would say I’m a right-wing ideologue. They would say my views on entitlement programs are far too radical. They would say putting me on the ticket immediately kills Mitt Romney’s chances of becoming president because I’m a liability. But if we’re being honest with each other—if we’re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we’re all actually thinking and feeling—I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here.

I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You can pretend like you have this thing in the bag, but you know good goddamn well that this race just got real interesting, real fast.

It’s okay to admit it. You’re frightened to death of me. It might actually be healthy for you to face your fears now rather than later, when Mitt and I are leading by a few points in the polls and it looks like this thing might end badly for you. Face it: I’m not some catastrophe waiting to happen, like a Sarah Palin or a Dan Quayle. On the contrary, you have the exact opposite fear. I’m a solid, competent, some might say exceptional, politician.

<snip>

Yup, you should be scared shitless of me, because guess who isn’t? The people of Wisconsin. They love me. Republicans and Democrats there love me. Hell, I get Democrats to vote for me even if my policies make zero sense when it comes to their livelihoods. Do you know why? Because they like me. They like my story. Young, good-looking kid who pulled himself up by his bootstraps to make something of himself. Christ, I'm a storybook candidate. I balance out this ticket so well it’s almost too perfect. The people of Ohio are going to think that. And seniors in Florida—the state we supposedly lost when Mitt picked me—won’t be so scared as soon they know that my mother lives in Florida, and that all I want to do is reform the health care system so she can receive care that makes good fiscal sense.

Boy, I’m going to sell the shit out of that talking point. And I’m going to do a great job of it. Why? Because I’m Paul Ryan. That’s what I do.

FULL TEXT HERE!

you know thats the onion

And you know that good satire has elements of truth to it, don't you?

Though he's not enough to get me to vote for Vinnie Vitalis, Ryan looks like Socrates next to Biden.

 

[Full-Auto]

LOL. Everytime you post it's like a gift to the world. Thanks for the laugh.

I do understand facts bother you.


I will say it again, because I am waiting for the challenge.. A minimum of a thousand felonies...............Hard fact............ Yet you support this activity............


Why?

Do they still use restraints at your facility or have they switched to the soft walls?

Hey...that was cute....Too bad it took you all night to think it up.

We try not to pick on the mentally challenged to often, but with you an exception will always be made.

Now can you address content or do we have to hold your fucking hand to boot.?

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Actually, both are running away from their one and only accomplishment - Ryan's "plan" to bankrupt the US and Mittens' RomneyCare in Mass.

Suddenly, neither of them remember their respective positions. Nor do they seem to have anything with which to replace the positions they are now denying. They refuse to answer even one question.

A matched set of empty suits. Or rather, empty but matching shirts.

Its like Etch A Sketh said - if we knew what he plans, we wouldn't vote for him.

 

[Katzndogz]

No matter if it's the Onion, it's the TRUTH, like Jon Stewart is a hard hitting investigative journalist.

 

[Plasmaball]

FULL TEXT HERE!

you know thats the onion

And you know that good satire has elements of truth to it, don't you?

Though he's not enough to get me to vote for Vinnie Vitalis, Ryan looks like Socrates next to Biden.

uh huh you are totally voting for mittens....I bet you want to be ryans boitoy..

 

[WillowTree]

I love to wake up to the smell of obamapanic in the mawning.

 

[RDD_1210]

I dont speak for anyone but myself....I do not like Romney.... But the current corruption and spending must be stopped to have any chance at avoiding financial collapse.....

Therefore I reject supporting criminals, I will hold my nose and vote Obama out..........

You support accessory to murder, organized criminal activity and an admin that has committed no less then one thousand felonies....

LOL. Everytime you post it's like a gift to the world. Thanks for the laugh.

I do understand facts bother you.


I will say it again, because I am waiting for the challenge.. A minimum of a thousand felonies...............Hard fact............ Yet you support this activity............


Why?

Felony number 287 in your list is obviously not true. Why would you even post that?

 

[Full-Auto]

LOL. Everytime you post it's like a gift to the world. Thanks for the laugh.

I do understand facts bother you.


I will say it again, because I am waiting for the challenge.. A minimum of a thousand felonies...............Hard fact............ Yet you support this activity............


Why?

Felony number 287 in your list is obviously not true. Why would you even post that?

What list?



I can name a thousand felonies of the same offense.


Let me help you out.....with a hint....NICS...................

 

[RDD_1210]

I dont speak for anyone but myself....I do not like Romney.... But the current corruption and spending must be stopped to have any chance at avoiding financial collapse.....

Therefore I reject supporting criminals, I will hold my nose and vote Obama out..........

You support accessory to murder, organized criminal activity and an admin that has committed no less then one thousand felonies....

LOL. Everytime you post it's like a gift to the world. Thanks for the laugh.

So you think that Obama and Biden are the best the Democratic Party has to offer?

I can think of many Democrats more qualified than those two and a few I'd vote for over Romney, yet you settled on these to gaffe machines. Why?

Where did I say that? Funny, I don't think Obama had any competition this year from other democrats.

Fail on your part.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

FULL TEXT HERE!

you know thats the onion

And you know that good satire has elements of truth to it, don't you?

Though he's not enough to get me to vote for Vinnie Vitalis, Ryan looks like Socrates next to Biden.

That's hysterically funny. Everything that Ryan is not but actually seems to believe he is.

Bet the idiot rw's will believe its true.

 

[RDD_1210]

I do understand facts bother you.


I will say it again, because I am waiting for the challenge.. A minimum of a thousand felonies...............Hard fact............ Yet you support this activity............


Why?

Felony number 287 in your list is obviously not true. Why would you even post that?

What list?



I can name a thousand felonies of the same offense.


Let me help you out.....with a hint....NICS...................

Bingo. What list?

Jesus, you're slow.

 

[Papageorgio]

LOL. Everytime you post it's like a gift to the world. Thanks for the laugh.

So you think that Obama and Biden are the best the Democratic Party has to offer?

I can think of many Democrats more qualified than those two and a few I'd vote for over Romney, yet you settled on these to gaffe machines. Why?

Where did I say that? Funny, I don't think Obama had any competition this year from other democrats.

Fail on your part.

I didn't say you said anything, I ASKED a question. He was nominated in 2008, many Democrats are dissatisfied with his performance, is he the best the Democrat's have to offer?

 

[RDD_1210]

So you think that Obama and Biden are the best the Democratic Party has to offer?

I can think of many Democrats more qualified than those two and a few I'd vote for over Romney, yet you settled on these to gaffe machines. Why?

Where did I say that? Funny, I don't think Obama had any competition this year from other democrats.

Fail on your part.

I didn't say you said anything, I ASKED a question. He was nominated in 2008, many Democrats are dissatisfied with his performance, is he the best the Democrat's have to offer?

Nope

 

[onecut39]

I do understand facts bother you.


I will say it again, because I am waiting for the challenge.. A minimum of a thousand felonies...............Hard fact............ Yet you support this activity............


Why?

Do they still use restraints at your facility or have they switched to the soft walls?

Hey...that was cute....Too bad it took you all night to think it up.

We try not to pick on the mentally challenged to often, but with you an exception will always be made.

Now can you address content or do we have to hold your fucking hand to boot.?

Would you please list the felonies committed by Obama along with some supporting evidence that has not had it's origin in the funny factory? A thousand felonies all with hard fact? Why are you so stingy with these thousands of facts?

 

[onecut39]

FULL TEXT HERE!

you know thats the onion

And you know that good satire has elements of truth to it, don't you?

Though he's not enough to get me to vote for Vinnie Vitalis, Ryan looks like Socrates next to Biden.

Right. Good satire contains a grain of truth. The bigger the grain the better the satire. Too bad you cannot see the what the satire is spoofing. That's kind of sad.

 

[Papageorgio]

Where did I say that? Funny, I don't think Obama had any competition this year from other democrats.

Fail on your part.

I didn't say you said anything, I ASKED a question. He was nominated in 2008, many Democrats are dissatisfied with his performance, is he the best the Democrat's have to offer?

Nope

Then why bitch when the GOP doesn't offer the best? Idiot!

 

[Mr. Shaman]

Say it ain't so!

It's TRUE!!!!!

It's PLAGUE-TIME, in the home o'.....

....BIG OIL!!!!!!!!!

"Ya' WHUPPED 'EM, Daddy!!!!!!"​

 

[RDD_1210]

I didn't say you said anything, I ASKED a question. He was nominated in 2008, many Democrats are dissatisfied with his performance, is he the best the Democrat's have to offer?

Nope

Then why bitch when the GOP doesn't offer the best? Idiot!

Because the GOP had a choice.

I love that you DID use the point I thought you were trying to make after claiming that you "were only asking a question". Holy fuck you're dumb.