Restraining orders question.

[AllieBaba]

a friend of mines kid quit school...came home all big and bad....told his father...single father..doing the best he could....father beat him within an inch of his life...to the point that we were all trying to help the kid...father told us...anyone moving in on his ground would take a beating...told the kid...ever day he was outta school...he would kick his ass...kid finished school and didnt act up much after that....and dad made him go to school the next day....looking just like he had the shit beat out of him

Lol..primitive, but effective!
Boys!

 

[Shadow]

I got by mom ONCE when sneaking out, never happened again. And my mom blamed me, not my friends. Of course she called my friend's parents to tell them what happened, and we were all grounded.. It is called being a parent.



And my friend's mom got a restraining order on my friend's older boyfriend. My friend got pregnant two months later.

My daughter does get blamed,grounded,cell phones/internet/TV taken away etc. This man comes to pick her up...after being told she is NOT to be at his house or with his daughter. It's not just a matter of me blaming her friends/friends parents...he is way out of bounds in this situation.

 

[ConHog]

I got by mom ONCE when sneaking out, never happened again. And my mom blamed me, not my friends. Of course she called my friend's parents to tell them what happened, and we were all grounded.. It is called being a parent.



And my friend's mom got a restraining order on my friend's older boyfriend. My friend got pregnant two months later.

My daughter does get blamed,grounded,cell phones/internet/TV taken away etc. This man comes to pick her up...after being told she is NOT to be at his house or with his daughter. It's not just a matter of me blaming her friends/friends parents...he is way out of bounds in this situation.

He is out of bounds. But that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands. here. The next time your daughter runs away call the police and let them deal with it.

 

[strollingbones]

You are the damned parent....you set the boundaries....period.....

 

[Shadow]

I got by mom ONCE when sneaking out, never happened again. And my mom blamed me, not my friends. Of course she called my friend's parents to tell them what happened, and we were all grounded.. It is called being a parent.



And my friend's mom got a restraining order on my friend's older boyfriend. My friend got pregnant two months later.

My daughter does get blamed,grounded,cell phones/internet/TV taken away etc. This man comes to pick her up...after being told she is NOT to be at his house or with his daughter. It's not just a matter of me blaming her friends/friends parents...he is way out of bounds in this situation.

He is out of bounds. But that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands. here. The next time your daughter runs away call the police and let them deal with it.

I didn't throw up my hands. I tracked her down and drug her ass home. My question was...can a person get a restraining order in this type of situation. I do plan on contacting the police...I mainly wanted opinions and to see if others had experience with similar type situations.

 

[AllieBaba]

Yes, you can.

But you need to quit procrastinating and call the fucking cops now. I would also call child welfare. They might know this guy, and may have concerns for his daughter.

 

[Shadow]

child abuse? my kid told me he was gonna call dss when he was about 12 ish.....i told him i would dial the number and all for him...then i would beat the hell out of him till they got there.....then he would go into the foster care system and be there forever cause obviously i wasnt a good parent....he started crying...saying they tell them that at school...the first time my child threaten me was the last time...he never brought that up again....and yes i would have beat him like a damn rented mule...till they got there....

dont let the kid bully you

This made me laugh...my best friend said her mother did the same thing.

 

[ConHog]

My daughter does get blamed,grounded,cell phones/internet/TV taken away etc. This man comes to pick her up...after being told she is NOT to be at his house or with his daughter. It's not just a matter of me blaming her friends/friends parents...he is way out of bounds in this situation.

He is out of bounds. But that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands. here. The next time your daughter runs away call the police and let them deal with it.

I didn't throw up my hands. I tracked her down and drug her ass home. My question was...can a person get a restraining order in this type of situation. I do plan on contacting the police...I mainly wanted opinions and to see if others had experience with similar type situations.

I think everyone is saying the same thing. You should have already called the police, and they will give you the best advice in regards to a restraining order

 

[AllieBaba]

I never said take advice from cops. You need to make your own plan.

Do you count on others to make every decision?

Depending on what cops you get, they may discourage you from filing for a protective order, or incorrectly tell you what the laws are. Commit to calling the cops to report this asshole for custodial interference and/or kidnapping, call child welfare to tell them you're concerned about the potential for him to target and abuse children including his own, and get your daughter the hell outta dodge for a while.

 

[Shadow]

I never said take advice from cops. You need to make your own plan.

Do you count on others to make every decision?

Depending on what cops you get, they may discourage you from filing for a protective order, or incorrectly tell you what the laws are. Commit to calling the cops to report this asshole for custodial interference and/or kidnapping, call child welfare to tell them you're concerned about the potential for him to target and abuse children including his own, and get your daughter the hell outta dodge for a while.

This is one of the main things I wanted to know. Thanks.

 

[Shadow]

This would be a situation where we would have what is known between me and my sister as a "Come to Jesus" talk. With the daughter, with the pervert. The more open the better. In my family, we'll usually attack the issue when as many people as possible are present and get it all on the table. There will be NO contact with friend's dad, there will be no more contact with friend. There will be contact with the police and any further behavior will result in dire consequences for all involved.

In the meantime, I'd get the girl out of the house. This is where camp would come in good..maybe you can't afford a send-away one, but I'd get her ass into the most time consuming day time camp program I could and make sure she's there every day. That's if you don't have family (who live too far away for her to walk) to take her off your hands for a while and show her how much more miserable it is away from home than in it.

I am checking into soccer camp,and she just came home from (our) church camp. I may try to get her into another church camp though...one my cousin's kids attend.

 

[Shadow]

Yes, you can.

But you need to quit procrastinating and call the fucking cops now. I would also call child welfare. They might know this guy, and may have concerns for his daughter.

I called them...they said the next time it happens,to call the police dept and they will escort me to his house. They also said that,yes, I can pick up a retraining order packet on monday and talk to an officer.

 

[syrenn]

My daughter does get blamed,grounded,cell phones/internet/TV taken away etc. This man comes to pick her up...after being told she is NOT to be at his house or with his daughter. It's not just a matter of me blaming her friends/friends parents...he is way out of bounds in this situation.

He is out of bounds. But that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands. here. The next time your daughter runs away call the police and let them deal with it.

I didn't throw up my hands. I tracked her down and drug her ass home. My question was...can a person get a restraining order in this type of situation. I do plan on contacting the police...I mainly wanted opinions and to see if others had experience with similar type situations.

Yes you can the simple way to get that restraining order and the only way to get that restraining order is to call the cops.

You do not give you permission for you daughter to go. Bottom line. You have "threatened" to call the cops but have not. Shes pushing you to see how far she can.

The bit with calling the cops and screaming child abuse is simple. You explain that she will be taken away and placed in foster care.If you have other children they will most likely be taken away too and placed in foster care. Ask her if she is willing to do that to her siblings. Tell her that it will most likely a year before she may come home. And when she does come home the rules will be the same. Then hand her the phone.

 

[Shadow]

He is out of bounds. But that doesn't mean you should just throw up your hands. here. The next time your daughter runs away call the police and let them deal with it.

I didn't throw up my hands. I tracked her down and drug her ass home. My question was...can a person get a restraining order in this type of situation. I do plan on contacting the police...I mainly wanted opinions and to see if others had experience with similar type situations.

Yes you can the simple way to get that restraining order and the only way to get that restraining order is to call the cops.

You do not give you permission for you daughter to go. Bottom line. You have "threatened" to call the cops but have not. Shes pushing you to see how far she can.

The bit with calling the cops and screaming child abuse is simple. You explain that she will be taken away and placed in foster care.If you have other children they will most likely be taken away too and placed in foster care. Ask her if she is willing to do that to her siblings. Tell her that it will most likely a year before she may come home. And when she does come home the rules will be the same. Then hand her the phone.

1. Called the cops. Restraining order to follow.

2. Already explained to the father that she is not allowed over there. (he knows,she knows, and his daughter also knows this). Last night was the first time they pushed me on this subject....after the situation was explained to this guy in great detail earlier in the week in an attempt to clear up any mis understandings...she was lying to him...I set him straight (she also has this guy conned into believing she is "abused" at home). I don't think he is a child molester....just an asshole....but I'm not taking any chances either (he knows this too...told him next time I'm sending the cops).

3. Of course she is testing me with this child abuse mantra. She is going through growing pains, and is frustrated that she is not allowed to be totally independant(she also hears her friends tell her these things in relation to punishment). I do know she is just all talk though...she knows what her other options are,and how good she has it at home.

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

Yes, he does. There's something creepy about a grown man picking up a young teen in the middle of the night. I'm not a lawyer, but at a minimum, it looks like he's contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

I'd get the alarm system installed.

Real creepy

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

I wouldn't be surprised if this person is drunk driving as well.

 

[strollingbones]

i would not just tell him....i would put it in writing to him....registered mail....

okay lets discuss teenagers.....one thing about them...they discover abstract thought and think they are the first to use it...you are the one being all talk right now...and your daughter knows it...

where is this kids father?

you can put her in camps all summer but you are still gonna have this problem on down the road..nip it in the bud now

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

When My kid need to figure out the limits he lost his bedroom door and everything else ,
As he regained control he got his door back and his privilege.

 

[George Costanza]

When My kid need to figure out the limits he lost his bedroom door and everything else ,
As he regained control he got his door back and his privilege.

Taking away a bedroom door from a teenage boy? God - that's cold.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

4 h camps are good and not too expensive

Lots of fun too.

However here in Oregon, 13 is the upper age limit