privacy

[strollingbones]

i didnt infer he cheated...only that he is a womanizer...but he does seem to like one lady at a time....here is what i think happened...

r is leaving for christmas break....for a week

js calls from florida..she is a client....says she will be up shortly...can he see her...i dont think js would hesitate to sign it love and kisses etc...she comes up several times a year and books his services as a guide...

but there is always the peanut gallery...ladies he hangs out with and has been associate with for years...who were texting holiday cheer ...

in all honesty...i dont think he is a "cheater"..that would involve conflict and trouble..he normally avoids that....

 

[Agnapostate]

So he's a serial monogamist? I think people might have picked up the wrong impression from the "womanizer" thing.

 

[Ravi]

whoooooooooooa no one said he was cheating....simply that he does like the ladies...i have no clue what was on the phone..he simply said...."my bad" and moved on...so if my gut tells me something i have ever right to invade someones privacy....

btw my husband takes his own vacations...many times gone for 2 or more weeks....i dont peek or look or nose about....

i would love to know what was on that text...i thought about calling her...

Apparently she did suspect him and she did find out something to confirm her suspicions. As to privacy...I'm not sure in a committed relationship there is a right to an expectation of privacy when it means hiding wrongdoings from each other...

 

[Annie]

Will wonders never cease... I actually agree with RGS on this one..

Those of you saying she "got what she deserved for snooping", seriously... Do you believe what you're actually typing? He lied, and hid things from her, and she found out about it, left him, and he's better off without HER?

Think about that...

If he cheats, which seems to be bones inference, wrong girl for him. They're both better off.

Agreed, they're not the people for each other, but why should she have to shoulder most of the blame, and be the brunt of all the insults? (Granted, she doesn't know she's being insulted to death, since she's not here, and we really only know part of one side of the story, but still....)

It's just wrong, and puts a lot of people in a different light for me...

My first comment was based on the op, seems to me that it's not right to read emails or txts. With that said, whomever suggested she was concerned about cheating, which was her probable premise for behavior, it's a point. She was smart to check, but perhaps wrong in how she dealt with. Dumping him was correct move.

I've never been a snooper, figured there's always things that would lead to wrong conclusions. With that said, once I had reasons to wonder, I went through bill statements instead of just paying them-worked.

 

[Ravi]

i didnt infer he cheated...only that he is a womanizer...but he does seem to like one lady at a time....here is what i think happened...

r is leaving for christmas break....for a week

js calls from florida..she is a client....says she will be up shortly...can he see her...i dont think js would hesitate to sign it love and kisses etc...she comes up several times a year and books his services as a guide...

but there is always the peanut gallery...ladies he hangs out with and has been associate with for years...who were texting holiday cheer ...

in all honesty...i dont think he is a "cheater"..that would involve conflict and trouble..he normally avoids that....

huh...how many text messages does his phone store? Mine from Christmas time are long gone.

 

[strollingbones]

i am not trying to blame her for anything....i just am amused that people have no respect for privacy...now days....i suspect this ...gives me the right to do what i want?

lets say i suspect my husband of something...does that give me the right to go thru his personal items...to search his accounts etc? does it really?

where does one stop invading someones privacy....my husband works with a very young and very beautiful young lady....they work in houses etc with bedrooms....does that give me the right to follow them about? she calls him on his cell phone..should i demand to know what the calls are about?

 

[strollingbones]

o this happened in dec...she dumped him dec 22 or so...drove to where he worked..tossed an hour and half fit on him...in public.....those who saw it...said it was pretty damned funny...then tossed his phone and him and left...

 

[strollingbones]

So he's a serial monogamist? I think people might have picked up the wrong impression from the "womanizer" thing.

yes serial monogamist is the term....i hate that term..but that is what he is.... he doesnt cheat but i think he will push the boundaries....with fliriting etc...but that is the southern man

 

[YWN666]

She was wrong for looking through his text messages. Without knowing what the text messages said that she reacted to, we can't tell whether he was at fault.

 

[editec]

Sounds to me like they're BOTH better off.

She for getting rid of an infidel and he for getting rid of somebody who doesn't respect boundries.

 

[strollingbones]

we really need to know what was on that phone....i know some companies will give you a text record for minors.....

 

[Ravi]

we really need to know what was on that phone....i know some companies will give you a text record for minors.....

Why don't you just ask him?

 

[strollingbones]

damn now i want to snoop.....infidel? hello.....stop calling my wonderful blameless son names....

that is my job

 

[strollingbones]

we really need to know what was on that phone....i know some companies will give you a text record for minors.....

Why don't you just ask him?

hmmm you think i havent ask?

reply i get....none of your damned business

 

[Ravi]

we really need to know what was on that phone....i know some companies will give you a text record for minors.....

Why don't you just ask him?

hmmm you think i havent ask?

reply i get....none of your damned business

lol...sounds like he doesn't want Mommy to know what he was really up to.

 

[strollingbones]

speaking of timing...he just called.....me...did you cheat on r....him...that is none of your concern or business...

when told of this thread..he made it clear he doesnt care what a "bunch of losers who sit on the computer all day and act like they have lives has to say" i ask if that bunch of losers included me...he laughed and said he would talk to me later

 

[strollingbones]

even the "he is my son" mother...knows if the answer was not a straight out....no....well...then....

 

[speedy35]

People are entitled to some degree of privacy. BUT...what should remain private is always the question. If someone is doing something illegal,, than privacy rights go out the window. BUt then, if you are worried about privacy, don't do anything wrong. AND certainly don't leave a record of your wrong doing ANYWHERE. That is asking for trouble.

 

[Agnapostate]

speaking of timing...he just called.....me...did you cheat on r....him...that is none of your concern or business...

when told of this thread..he made it clear he doesnt care what a "bunch of losers who sit on the computer all day and act like they have lives has to say" i ask if that bunch of losers included me...he laughed and said he would talk to me later

Tell him he's the one who just got dumped.

 

[strollingbones]

an on topic article:

Do You Snoop in His Stuff? Should You? - 1 - MSN Relationships - article