'Praying Doesn't Help Anything,' Says Man Whose Idea Of Helping Is Trolling On Internet

[Weatherman2020]

Is it really satire?

According to sources close to local 32-year-old John Rettner, the man recently stated that “praying doesn’t help anything,” while his own idea of helping is just trolling under activist hashtags on Facebook and Twitter.

After every national tragedy and disaster, the man can be seen making fun of those offering “thoughts and prayers” while the only thing he himself has ever contributed to help those in need is his Facebook posts, sources confirmed.

“All your guys’ thoughts and prayers don’t do anything,” he wrote in a lengthy rant online. “Unlike you religious plebs, I’m committed to help out my fellow man by calling people names on social media.”

The man’s generous aid package for those hurt in recent tragedies has included “savage” memes mocking those who offer to pray for the victims, brutal comebacks on religious family members’ posts, and utilizing popular hashtags to self-righteously promote his positions on social issues.

“We can’t just sit around offering thoughts and prayers. We have to take action by attacking people online,” he said later.

'Praying Doesn't Help Anything,' Says Man Whose Idea Of Helping Is Trolling On Internet

 

[aaronleland]

Why isn't he on USMB? He sounds like a hoot.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Nothing fails like prayer...

 

[TNHarley]

Prayer doesnt work.

 

[Likkmee]

Ever watch one of those martial artists bust up some serious shit bare handed ?
Go try it.See how it works out for ya.

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical. It takes practice and belief.
Those other clowns would have been slaughtered at the Red Sea but Ole Moses knew better and said " hold my wine and watch this ya whiney unbelieving bitches"....or rather

wa wa watch th-this ya wha why whiney,,,,....I know most bible thumper don't know ole Moe had a speech impediment. Thats why God sent his brother to help him 'splain things to the dirtbag in charge. Fairy or whatever they called the prick. Prolly a Bush relative

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

 

[hobelim]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

I always thought that when someone says they'll pray for you it was just a nice way of them saying that you're on your own...

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

I always thought that when someone says they'll pray for you it was just a nice way of them saying that you're on your own...

It's also a way of them making it about themselves. "Well, this might not do anything for you, but i will be left with a sense of accomplishment."

 

[Likkmee]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

 

[Likkmee]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

I always thought that when someone says they'll pray for you it was just a nice way of them saying that you're on your own...

That's only when your headed to a meeting with the IRS

 

[bodecea]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Who is "He"? Thor? Anubis? Buddha?

 

[hobelim]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

I always thought that when someone says they'll pray for you it was just a nice way of them saying that you're on your own...

It's also a way of them making it about themselves. "Well, this might not do anything for you, but i will be left with a sense of accomplishment."

lol... I guess that just falls in line with everything else.. they are saved, but never stop sinning. They worship God but do the exact opposite of what he commands. They love everybody, except Jews, muslims, hippies, rock and roll, telletubbies, gays, blacks and latinos. They profess to be keepers of the moral law without knowing the meaning of the words or subjects about which they are so dogmatic, They are going to heaven, Satan is taking over the world, you're going to hell, they love Jesus, they will pray for you, blah blah blah.

And every time they try to think, nothing happens.

 

[Likkmee]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Who is "He"? Thor? Anubis? Buddha?

Well. The ancients called him Yahvey, creator of Adam/modern man.
But if it's money you're after you'll need to converse with Lucifer, the first "banker" and inventor of variable interest

 

[hobelim]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

Yeah well when Jesus comes down from the sky to toss unbelievers into fire lake and take all believers up into the sky to rule the earth like gods forever, you'll be sorry.

Makes no sense but thats the power of faith.

 

[ding]

Prayer is powerful. It alters the fabric of our identity.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

Yeah well when Jesus comes down from the sky to toss unbelievers into fire lake and take all believers up into the sky to rule the earth like gods forever, you'll be sorry.

Makes no sense but thats the power of faith.

The power of Christ does not compel me.

 

[ding]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

Yeah well when Jesus comes down from the sky to toss unbelievers into fire lake and take all believers up into the sky to rule the earth like gods forever, you'll be sorry.

Makes no sense but thats the power of faith.

The power of Christ does not compel me.

That’s pretty obvious.

 

[Fort Fun Indiana]

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

Yeah well when Jesus comes down from the sky to toss unbelievers into fire lake and take all believers up into the sky to rule the earth like gods forever, you'll be sorry.

Makes no sense but thats the power of faith.

The power of Christ does not compel me.

That’s pretty obvious.

...of everyone who is not Christian.

 

[hobelim]

Powerful prayer is another technique "learned" to do other things spiritual rather than physical.

I.E., it's an effective method of lying to yourself.

Maybe one day you'll be on your knees bawling He might hear you. Then again, maybe not.There was a mountain of you fuckers doing just that when the arks door was closed.

Haha...is that some kind of threat? What's next, shaman? Gonna make a voodoo doll of me?

Yeah well when Jesus comes down from the sky to toss unbelievers into fire lake and take all believers up into the sky to rule the earth like gods forever, you'll be sorry.

Makes no sense but thats the power of faith.

The power of Christ does not compel me.

Then why are you doing what he did? You know, partying with sinners and prostitutes, flipping off highly respected religious traditions and holy men?